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Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 12 10, 18:27

Hi all,

Based on the http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=11641, I'm inspired to throw out a second challenge.

Taking Frost's The Road Not Taken poem below, create your own using the same end words. The words are: wood, both, stood, could, undergrowth / fair, claim, wear, there, same / lay, black, day, way, back / sigh, hence, I, by, difference.

Good luck!
~Cleo

Posted by: Sekhmet Jan 14 10, 09:01

Totems


Two gaudy effigies, carved in wood
stand in forested clearings; both
potent totems; understood
to rule the tribe, as no man could.
They tower above the undergrowth.

Whilst at the bases, maidens fair,
do offer tribute; and they claim
the pretty amulets they wear,
and tattoos scattered here and there,
prevent them looking all the same.

Explorers died here; where they lay,
with tortured bodies turning black.
They surely came to rue the day
they ventured the less travelled way,
and stayed - because there's no way back.

Those totems force my deepest sigh.
My God! Why did I venture hence?
A futile, foolish traveller, I
chose that detour, tempted by
my untamed lust for difference.

All line should end with the given words - in the given order and form.
wood, both, stood, could, undergrowth / fair, claim, wear, there, same /
lay, black, day, way, back / sigh, hence, I, by, difference.

Posted by: Merlin Jan 14 10, 17:37

I'm gonna post in here to keep to one thread. Hope das okay.

My offering is a rhymed unmetered piece. I'm not sure I've heard of such, but there tis. I'm also out of black ink in my printer, so posting this in color.



Scarlet Lipstick

I remember you last autumn, in the wood,
scarlet beret, scarlet lipstick, both
caught my attention and my soul stood
like a Bantu hunter. I wondered a time if it could
find its way out of that tangled undergrowth.

Lazy clouds overhead floated fair
through their blue September claim,
casting worry aside as if it were a thing to wear,
then cruised nonchalantly to the same, to the same,
west, east, here, there.

Clouds – I roved with them often from where I lay
on the haystack. They transformed to castles – black
and Chartreuse-green, then tangerine late in the day.
At the drawbridge, roses lined the way
and horses grazed, two chargers and a swayback.

On this quiet harvest wind there rides a sigh,
making me wonder if your scarlet lipstick sent it hence.
Its music notes enrapture me and say, “Tis I, tis I.”
Your image in the clouds meanders by
and like a Monarch butterfly, proclaims a difference.

Posted by: Merlin Jan 15 10, 17:01

Reconsidering and finding that I am actually well aware of rhyme & unmetered verse, I've decided to amend things and post another. I'm still out of black ink, however.

Hold on There, RF!

If I think of the forest as merely wood
and the ocean as only water, both
will be sold short, for they have stood
the test of wind and waves. Could
a fish live in a raveled undergrowth?

Would a sparrow, jay or robin think it fair
living on a stretched-out ocean, staking claim
on smelt or herring? Donning rubber outerwear?
Of a sudden they would see that life over there
compared to the woodland is not the same.

A nest must be dry so a bird can lay;
an octopus hideaway ought to be black;
a condor and albatross spend hours a day
on thermals they find on a lofty highway
and cruise with the wind at their back.

So creatures all, no need to sigh
as nothing will change from whence to hence
and tinkering Toms or fools as I
will fiddle with other things by and by
but not make a lot of difference.

Posted by: Sekhmet Jan 17 10, 13:32

Hey Merlin - I think I prefer the second one - but have to hold back when I see unmetered rhyming verse - Have a heart mate! I've only just come to terms with the 39.8 inches stuff.
Although, logically, I suppose there must be some unmetered rhyming verse somewhere, but I can't think of any.
I love the idea of those cute little robins having a secret hankering for rubber outerwear.
Great fun to read! - Leo

Posted by: Larry Jan 18 10, 13:19

Hi All,

Thought I might chime in with my meager offering. It's not nearly as good as Merlin's last one; I really enjoyed that... metered or unmetered. I still find Frost's version a bit bumpy with his 4 1/2 foot lines and constant switching from iambic to anapestic but he's famous and I'm not so I guess it's okay to write in that manner. Anyway, here's mine: (I went ahead and used both first and last words of each line.)

The Skins Not Taken

Two Gators lived in a piney wood
and cypress swamp. Loved sun and sand both
and raised all their children where stumps stood
and chased predators off when they could;
to where they escaped in undergrowth.


Then went to check the young which were fair,
and very beautiful; so they claim.
Because men thought so and made footwear.
Though the gator family there
Had rather kept skins just the same.


And then, one morning, all of them lay
In moss and mud; dark green and black.
Oh, you could barely see them in the day.
Yet, they could see you and get away,
I could just make out the male’s ridged back.


I will remember that day and sigh
Somewhere; because I ventured hence:
Two gators survived with young, and I---
I scared them when hunters came by,
And they still live. That’s the difference!


They scared me more than I scared them.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 18 10, 14:16

WOW!!!!!!


Leo, Merlin (x2) and Larry (and I know Steve wrote one also) - thanks so much for your responses. They are all fantastic!!!!! I think I'm afraid to try this one only because I cannot "see" the meter RF used; it appears very bumpy to me, as Larry states switching from Iambs to anapests - has got me mind scrambled.

If I try this one, it won't match the origignal, lol!

Luv all of these - keep 'em comin'!

~Lori

Posted by: Larry Jan 19 10, 09:25

Hi All,

Here is a true story. Really!

A Difference

Behind my house stand groves of Oak wood
and long-leaf Pine. If I cut them both,
I could build a home where they once stood
but I would not do that if I could;
leaving nothing but the undergrowth.

The back yard would never be as fair
and besides, I’d never want to claim
responsibility, or to wear
that cloak of guilt. Without the trees there,
Nature’s beauty would not be the same.

Without my trees, the birds could not lay
their eggs in nests built of small twigs, black
and brown; lined with leaves found by day.
I told myself, there must be a way
to keep their morning songs coming back.

Now, in their shade, I listen and sigh
in delight. With other wood, from hence,
my home rests where briars once grew. I
have my trees and songbirds nearby,
surrounded by Nature’s difference.


Were I to have cut them down to build my home, I would have been no better than the hurricanes which indifferently destroy centuries old Oaks and sweet smelling Pine groves. My part of this world would have been a sadder place.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 19 10, 09:43

Glad that wasn't the case, Larry!

A lovely response (#2).

Well done - I enjoyed the imagery and story within!

~Cleo

Posted by: Merlin Jan 19 10, 14:57

Good on ya for that sentiment, Larry.
I'm fortunate, we have lovely trees in our city and they try to keep them when development happens.

Great additions to this undertaking. You've motivated me to do another, it's fresh off the Chopin block, so I may need to come back for some tweaking. Here goes>>


Aye, Aye, Aye, for the Birds

I have been one acquainted with the wood,
I’ve chopped and sawed my goodly share, yes both!
I’ve gone among white birches where I stood
in awesome wonder, wishing that I could
be like a marmot in thick undergrowth.

I’ve seen the weather change from foul to fair;
I’ve panned for gold and even staked a claim.
I’ve been so poor I had no shoes to wear
but still I rambled over here and there
and through it all, life carried on the same.

I often found a strawstack where I’d lay
my carcass down, on starry nights or black,
then when the dawning brought another day,
I’d venture on to nowhere, down the way
or turn around and venture nowhere back.

I always whistled – rarely did I sigh,
no use was there for whence or thence or hence.
My home-folk stayed on birthright land, but I…
I watched the ocean bid the sun good-by.
I watched the birds. The birds know there’s a difference.


Still outa black ink, btw.

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 20 10, 06:38

Well done Merlin!

You all make this look EASY!

Enjoyed,
~Cleo

Posted by: Larry Jan 22 10, 18:03

Hi Lori,

Once more into the fray with Frost's words and a more sober usage thereof.


Disaster’s Triage

Tin shacks and cardboard huts propped up with wood
are gone. Uncaring Earth erased them. Both
entombed in brick and stucco that once stood
beside them. Raining down on those who could
not find safety in hillside undergrowth.

No judge to rule on what was right or fair,
to hear the anguished pleas of those who claim
they had no food; or clothing they could wear.
That was interred with friends and neighbors there
among the piles of rubble, and the same

could be said of their families which lay
beneath the shattered buildings. All was black
and dusty clouds blocked out the light of day.
Some few, exhumed by those who found a way
to rescue broken bodies, bring them back;

are granted respite from that final sigh.
Not so for many others taken hence
to lie in rest with strangers. Would that I
were able to assist and help them by
grief’s river flowing through indifference.


God help them all.


Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 22 10, 20:45

Gosh Larry - you've really sparked an emotional response in me! I'm sitting here crying now. This is a really sobering poem - that stands on its own without knowing its a challenge response.

A beautiful poem - very poignant!! Hard to believe all that's happening and a second quake too the other day. I've heard now it's even more chaotic with the rescue workers trying to do what they can.

Big hugs to all.
-Lori

Posted by: Larry Jan 23 10, 01:07

Hi Lori,

Thank you for your kind words. I apologize for your reaction but I get a similar feeling and one of hopelessness when seeing all the despair and suffering and knowing there is little I can do to alliviate any of it. What bugs me the most is that I have around 40 years of experience in inventory control, logistics, distribution and supply and have to watch the inept efforts of supposedly qualified people screw up what little help is trickling out to the people in need. I wrote this after watching a report on supply chain and distribution break down and the abysmal excuses spouted by those who were supposed to be handling that problem.
That's why my last line was, "God help them all".


Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jan 23 10, 07:57

I believe it, Larry and am feeling the same sense of inadequacy.

These horrific events always break me. There have been far too many - but I just heard on the Today show earlier this morning of one positive. There was an orphanage outside of the quake zone that had displaced I think it was about 65 children (but I can't confirm the number on their website at present)). Anyway, the bottom line there is that these kids were waiting to be adopted, and because of the disaster, the normal 2+ year wait for all the red tape has been lifted and the children began arriving yesterday into the waiting arms of their "new" parents. A sign of hope!!!!!

Everyone needs hope...

You shuld place this poem for crits, Larry.

Posted by: Larry Jan 23 10, 10:20

Hello Again Lori,

Perhaps the 1/2 Billion raised by caring people in the US, will help these poverty stricken people; if most of it gets to them and isn't siphoned off by "Charity's Big Wigs" to line their already over-stuffed pockets. Damn, I'm becoming too cynical in my old age.

I posted this in Hermes for crits and/or just to be able to vent to other readers on MM my frustration about this situation.

Larry

Posted by: Merlin Jan 23 10, 12:38

We just keep going and going....
Good on ya, Larry.


On the RF Rode Again

Mosaic silence hides within the wood
at Herman’s and at Karot’s Crossing, both.
Could be that poets are not understood
or seem perplexing, yes it really could,
but readers, please, look in the undergrowth.

It’s where you’ll find the middling and the fair;
it’s where you’ll see some seek a fame to claim;
it’s where you’ll see them in their glory-wear;
it’s where you’ll find them writing verse, right there,
but have no doubt, no two will be the same.

It’s there you’ll find a sonnet, ode or lay,
an elegy perhaps, laid out in black,
and if you stay a while, say half a day,
you’ll get the royal tour right down the way
but do not fear, someone will take you back.

Relief? Despair? What was that somber sigh?
It couldn’t be a dread to travel hence
and see the poet’s world – fools such as I
who offer little gems to scuffle by?
Dive right on in – you’ll find a world of difference.

Posted by: Larry Feb 2 10, 01:07

Bob Rime’s Rhyme

Although this site would make a difference,
if we had full participation by
each member. There is nothing you or I
can do to force compliance. Send them whence
they came? You breathe exasperated sigh

then ask them to desist and not come back
unless they wish to share their views the way
that others do. Perhaps there’ll come a day
when rules aren’t cut so white and black.
For those that wish to grow, critique and lay

bare minds and souls expect the same
from others. Post each new creation there
within our forums. Then we ask you wear
a teacher or a critics hat. Don’t claim
you know not how to help. That isn’t fair!

You’re here to learn, prune all the undergrowth
from new word gardens. Then I know we could
improve each verse. Stand tall, say you withstood
temptation to abstain. Give and take, both
are needed when you build; not rotten wood.


I don't know if pleas or threats of dismissal will work to entice others to join in our little private party of accepting challenges and giving as much assistance as we know how to give in helping others and ourselves to improve the written word here at MM. One can only hope!


Larry

Posted by: Sekhmet Feb 2 10, 02:44

Merlin! OK! I give in!
I'll be the one to fall in and ask the obvious question - I can't stand the suspense!
You have told us, again, (in black ink) that you are out of black ink.
Why would your printer being out of black ink make any difference to the colour you use to post your delightful contributions?
I know that I am going to kick myself for asking, but you dangle the information like a maggot - waiting for a fish to bite.
I'll regret it - I know I will .....
Leo

Posted by: Merlin Feb 2 10, 16:42

That was Larry up above, Leo, but we acknowledge your current bout with eyesight. No problem, and I'm sure Larry will accept the compliment to his posting.

Black ink - I've finally broken down and bought some. Now my printer smears; reckon it didn't like to be left high and dry. I used up the color cartouche, which would otherwise have been garbage (recycled at the local office supply store).

Reason - I was being a yokel as always, and using color was because somebody remarked on its use. Go figger.

I don't want to smudge future postings, so might just revert to using color again.



Larry, nice to see you using Trebor Tsorf as a template!

Merlin

Posted by: Larry Feb 3 10, 00:46

Hi Merlin,

I read your Trebor Tsorf post in Herman's House and had to add my voice to your concerns and suggestions about participation and the paucity of critiques, etc. that have (graced?) this fine site in recent weeks. I find it alarming that no more than 15-20 or so members have put out about 75% of the postings. Where is everyone?

Why don't we start another thread with one more Frost poem?

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 3 10, 06:36

I'm not sure what's happened - it's been in a down swing for some time (more than a year). I do not know what can be done to attract more critters, so ideas are always welcome. I used tocrit virtually almost every post the first 3 or so years of MM (2003-2006) but I've had other "life events" taking up my free time. I sure hope things turn around. One thing I can say is that this was never meant to be a "vanity" site - Critiques have always been the end goal - to better our appreciation for the poetic art.

Sure - I can start another thread for Frost... Give me a few days...

Posted by: Merlin Feb 3 10, 09:14

Trebor Tsorf Sedir Niaga

A small notation makes substantial difference:
an indication what a passerby
can leave as his* retort. Critique? Not I.
I’ve done my share for many years, and hence
have had my fill to where I often sigh.

Fair play is scratch the other fella’s back
since he itched yours upstairs, and thataway
most fleas are gone until another day
when YIKES! they’re there in droves, all shiny black.
Get out your cape; the crowds now shout “O-Lay.”

Some sites have common taters, each the same
and all replies are standard over there.
Each poem is praised like flannel underwear
altho in truth, some don’t deserve such claim.
Yet all in all, I reckon fair is fair.

I ponder what’s inside this undergrowth –
a cagey fox or chanticleer that could
make sense of things so all is understood,
or let confusion rain, or maybe both?
Confucius say it’s nice in rainy wood!

* Masculine includes feminine.

Posted by: Merlin Feb 3 10, 09:34

Hi Larry, Lori, et al.

MM is not unique in declined participation. I only look at a handful of sites, and all but one are almost comatose. Indeed, some are completely so. Even high profile sites like Sonnet Central have 1 or 2 postings a day, if that. Folks have simply wandered to other things, and Facebook is high on that list.

What my suggestion is - combine the 2 forums, Herman & Pluto (even toss in Sarah, why not?) into 1 with a tag stating a desire for critique. That can be done by simply using C&C (or other like CR vs NC) beside the title, or a star, or a series of stars if light, medium, & full is instituted. The best mark can be applied as per any or all wishes. This way, whoever wishes critique can request it, and any not desiring any will not get any. This way, a person need not feel compelled to thoroughly parse a piece, which may be well beyond his/her capabilities at the stage they might be. Personally, I've done critique for long enough that I no longer have an appetite for both giving and getting. I'm not interested, and in fairness, limit my participation in Herman's and why bother with Pluto when nobody visits. Check the dates of last posts. (btw, pointing out a typo ought not be considered crit.)

My suggestion does not take away workshopping. I'm all in favor of improvement and recommend it to those who feel they can benefit. I'm offering a choice to crit or not to crit. Our old site, now long gone, had such a system and it worked remarkably well. There was no need for the overwhelming number of different forums to find ones way thru - and personally, I only ever go to 1 or 2.

There tis.

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 3 10, 12:07

Hi Eric,

I am in favor of your idea. We're short on mods though so I'm not sure if the process of confirming the 1:2:2 rule would pose any further challenges (post today, wait a day, offer feedback on 2 posts then rinse and repeat). I don't think so because we'd still be looking for 2 responses for each new post per member. We'd need to make it clear that each post would require a "to crit or not to crit" notation (either in the title as you suggest or in the beginning of the post itself). I actually received a 'friend' request this morning from Facebook from a former PK poet: Reaper696 (Scott). I've already friended a few other poets from the old PK forum as well: The PoetLoriet (Lori), MissLuckyPenny (Poppy), ROTTS69 (Cary) which is FUN to interact with them even if only at a personal level and not for writing! I see that Sonnet Central has their own "group" there too. YES, a few of our members Facebook on Farmville and the Zoo I think. It can be VERY TIME ABSORBING.

We've also been tossing the idea around among the staff of further defining the desired critique level, i.e. moderate or concentrated/intensive like we had back before splitting apart R&M, FV and Short Forms. I have been reserved in creating any more forums as we already have so many.

Let's see what others think. I don;t think it's too complicated to move posts from one forum to another but I may want to move some to the archive forum and re-date the forum name accordingly, but I'm getting ahead of my thoughts.

Cheers,
Cleo

Posted by: Merlin Feb 3 10, 12:22

Excellent, Lori.
Dialog is certainly a good thing, and as in brainstorming, the best route is the road to travel, as RF might have noted.

You're getting another Frosty ready? I'm not dun with this wun!



Since getting a new black cartridge for my printer, strange things are happening. Should you spot any typos, by all means, let me know!

Protons, Neutrons, and Morons!

Does porper sellping really make a difference
or can you sgarp the words now machring by
if they are smacrbled gges? Did you and I
waste time in slooch by nearling tense and hence
let out a mona, or eahve a holepess sigh?

But now terhe ain’t no wya of going back
since most of us avhe stol schloastic way
and d’not intend reevrting to tath day
wehn chalk was whiet on geern boards (once called black)
was wereh the techear wrote dwon lie and lay.

Waht’s hared and sene is foten not the same –
Bagosh, their’s they’re and thar and there,
then wheer oh ware to hang our twiner wear
when surmem comes along to steak a claim?
I sak oyu all – d’ya think tath such is fair?

I gotta go and ritm eht undergrowth…
a lleitt off the top pealse, if oyu could.
to ffuser lerong where I danst or stood
mitgh be nagaist the wal, or maybe both
and I shlla go and heid in welloy wood.

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 3 10, 12:44

That's OK - these threads can stay on page 1 if y'all keep replyin'...

Does proper spelling really make a difference
or can you grasp the words now marching by
if they are scrambled eggs? Did you and I
waste time in school by learning tense and hence
let out a moan, or heave a hopelss sigh?

Posted by: Psyche Feb 3 10, 17:26

You gentlefolks persuaded me today
to fling this silly set of words array.



Deuced RF!

I sculpted true on fossil wood
my virtues two, convinced that both
were godly traits and as things stood,
I was a saint. In truth I could
discard my script to undergrowth,

but thought it proper, truly fair,
to hasten whence sainthood one claims.
- I’ll surely a monk’s habit wear
to get myself from here to there;
a pair of jeans is not the same

to gatecrash conclaves planned to lay
one’s claim to fame in Bible black.
To Rome I travelled on that day,
- Please Lucifer don’t veil my way!
My boss on Monday wants me back.

St. Peter’s staircase seemed to sigh,
querying my sense to speed hence.
The Pope’s benign wave – More fool I!
Poets and scribblers are sinners by
decree – Indexed! Sad difference.

Missed my deadline, book’s on standby…


© Sylvia Evelyn, Buenos Aires, Argentina, 2010.

Posted by: Psyche Feb 3 10, 17:47

I'm absolutely overwhelmed by Merlin, Larry and Leo's answers to this challenge! Mind-boggling...

And I bet it takes you people about 5 mins to dash off one of these, whereas I struggle helplessly against the tide of inadequacy that floods my wobbly mind.

Merlin, I used to know The Jabberwocky by heart as a child, so at least I can say that your simple mix of letters doesn't flummox me...LOL....And there's always an e.mail going the rounds with scrambled eggs...oops, letters, sorry...And I understand it perfectly!

That's all I can say in my defense. My poem's got 8 syll Ls, but the metre is all haywire...

A humble offering in the midst of excellence....cheery bye, as Brits say!

Syl***

Posted by: Psyche Feb 3 10, 18:05

Larry, your poem about Haiti also touched me tremendously. It's so well expressed and I agree with Lori that you should move it to the critique forum for everyone to enjoy. That is, where is everyone?

What annoys me is when newbies post stuff and then don't even say thank you for the comments.

Back to Haiti: the immediate situation is horrifying, but there's a very long story behind the present catastrophe. The people have been exploited for centuries by everybody, for which reason nothing is in place to deal with nature's caprices. There exist many preventive and/or pre-arranged shelters, food storage systems, etc etc which have helped populations in more developped countries.

Since Haiti, we've had 8 or 9 fairly important tremors in areas of Argentina, on the 3 to 4 scale. Scary...
Also disasters in Peru and elsewhere.

Congrats on your deeply moving poem.

Syl***

Posted by: Larry Feb 3 10, 19:32

Thanks Merlin, Lori & Syl,

This is such an enjoyable challenge and with the end rhymes already in place, it's sort of a fill in the blanks.
Whatever mood one finds himself/herself in can, with a little thought, be written down in just about any meter one wants.

Syl, don't worry about your 8 syllable "Deuced RF". Bob's was done with 9 and was difficult to emulate with metrical similarity. That is why I, and probably Eric, went to IP. I thoroughly enjoyed your little visit to Rome. Try "scribes" in S4L4. It evens out the bump from "scribblers" in that line. Don't denigrate your capable mind and hands for you have sculpted a very nice tribute to RF.

Lori, I'll try to keep them coming; if for no other reason than my muse is currently hibernating or possibly comatose. I like Merlin's and your suggestions about possible site improvements/changes. You'd get my vote if I had one to offer.

Merlin, what can I say but WOW! I have loved each and every one and look forward to the next. Here is once more into the "Frosty' waters.

Seaside Chagrin

She lay upon a beach chair made of wood
to bask and tan, or wade; or maybe both
while I was too embarrassed if I stood
up in the surf. The waves did what they could
and stole my suit. With seaweed undergrowth

I hid my private parts, both foul and fair
for body building never was my claim.
The ocean gave me something I could wear
to get back to my car. It’s parked up there
above the water line. This is the same

as once before; I recognize the lay
of this shore where the lava rock is black.
That suit has never turned up to this day
so I guess this one also found its way
to far off shores. They’re never coming back.

I slipped into my car and breathed a sigh
of great relief, then swore an oath that hence-
forth I’d refrain from ocean swims and I
would use the pool behind my house. Thereby
reducing riptide’s crass indifference.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 3 10, 19:53

BRAVO Sylvia!!! I really enjoyed your trip to Rome! Pssst, I fancy the 8 sylls also! I'm going to try and write a response - you all make it look so easy!

Larry, your muse is not comatose [ you're on a roll - birthday suits beware!!!! (but mine certainly is - hit the 1 year mark this week), hard to believe. On a positive note, I've taken up my notebook of the novel ideas I had been working on last year - started to further develop my outline and further chapter one. There's hope in this here mind o' imagination of mine... I inspired and have a great support system now too.

Anywho - I'm probably gonna go post the Feb Pandora challenge and then go offline to see if I can get the first stanza of this challenge written. Once I get the first one down, the rest usually falls into place... Let's hope so!

Be back!
~Cleo

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 3 10, 20:43

I want to post this before I lose my train of thought - only the first stanza so far... I'm psyched to have written something new! YAY!!!


Nether Wood

We searched the nucleus of Nether Wood
to catch a glimpse of Father Sky where both
the sun and moon ensnare our days. He stood
betwixt the hands of dawn! O how he could
lay tribulations ‘neath the undergrowth!

Posted by: Merlin Feb 4 10, 22:06

I must add my note of congratulations to all participants. Twas brillig, one might say.

Syl, not to concern over line length. My first ones on P1 are deliberately different, and RF himself didn't really hold strict meter, so it would be a task to duplicate his.

Ya dun good.

Merlin

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 5 10, 06:45

I have to get back to my poetic effort, !

Since ya'll like this one - next challenge - use the FIRST word in each line of RF's poem here... DOUBLE challenge - use BOTH first and last words of the lines...

Good luck! I'll be watching!

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 5 10, 06:46

One could even flip the stanzas backwards and start your responses with last stanza's end words and work your way up (or would it be down?), lol!

Posted by: Merlin Feb 5 10, 19:47

....hmmmmmm.
would that be starting with "difference" and ending with "wood"?

Now why didn't I think of that!?

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 6 10, 10:02

Why YES! O wizzie!

difference/by/I/hence/sigh

back/way/day/black/lay

same/there/wear/claim/fair

undergrowth/could/stood/both/wood

Posted by: Larry Feb 7 10, 15:46

Okay Lori,

This is in answer to your double challenge:

Hope it is prophetic and though some readers will say it's apocryphal, I would really like for it to be true except for the betting part. I'm not that stupid.

Stupor Bowl

Two football teams broke out the heavy wood
and half a billion fans will cheer them both
and worship fields where all the great ones stood
and many more would be there if they could.
To watch it, fans come from the undergrowth,

then pay much more than some consider fair,
and don’t mind being scalped. It’s fun, they claim
because they want to watch the best. Some wear,
though they look stupid, paintings here and there.
Had they good sense, would never look the same

and act the fool. The game begins. Refs lay
in place the ball. Large men in gold and black;
Oh how they played and beat the Colts that day.
Yet, looking back, that is the only way
I wanted it to end. They brought us back;

I and ten million others breathed a sigh.
Somewhere a sadness reigns but it is hence.
Two football teams fought very hard but I--
I played the spread. I cheered as points went by
and won. Field goals made all the difference.


Larry
"From Louisiana"

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 7 10, 18:54

FABULOUS Larry!

Best of luck! Hope the Saints win!

I'll be back tomorrow to comment more fully!

~Cleo

Posted by: Larry Feb 8 10, 00:50

YEAH!!!

Who Dat Say Dey Gonna Beat Dem Saints?




Nobody! Sez Larry.

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 8 10, 18:01

Great game, Larry! I was thrilled and even Barry was like "WHO DAT"...

Yeah for you - be back later...

Posted by: Larry Feb 11 10, 15:43

Hello All,

Yet another answer to the "first & last" word challenge.

The Last Warrior

Two swords of tempered steel and iron hard wood
and none were left, adept to wield them both
and fend the enemy from where they stood
and guard the keep. I doubt if any could.
To slice invaders like foul undergrowth,

then cast off cloven bodies plighted fair,
and wrest a victory. Will all here claim
because no chain mail cloak is theirs to wear,
though open armory is replete there.
Had I, with stricken body, felt the same

and then accede to fallen foe who lay
in bloody pools of gore, now turning black!
Oh feign not death for it has come today.
Yet, hearken me; for there is still a way
I may induce ye faint of heart. Come back

I plead, and hear the cowards final sigh.
Somewhere beats hero’s heart but it is hence.
Two swords were offered for defense and I--
I, dying, wished for brave men standing by
and prayed some would avenge death’s difference.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 12 10, 08:57

This is AWESOME, Larry! Might you post it for critique?

Would you mind if I followed your 'theme' in this and tried my own response to it?

Enjoyed the read!
~Cleo

Posted by: Larry Feb 12 10, 11:02

Hi Lori,

Thank you very much for your compliment. I guess I could post it for critique but it would be difficult to change it very much due to the dual parameters of using both the first and the last words from RF.

Please do continue with this theme if you care to. I know how much you enjoy and have seen a lot you have already written in that genre. That you would honor my little line of thought is, in itself, pleasurable to me.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 13 10, 08:09

Hi Larry,

Ah - but here's the BEAUTY of these challenges (in Karnak, Pandora & Acropolis), should you decide to repost the response in a forum for crit, you are no longer bound by the parameters set out in each challenge (unless you want to be). The idea behind the challenges is to stir the muse and get you writing again. Once you've responded with the set parameters, should you decide to post the resulting poem/short story etc. for critiques, you are then able to "toss" the parameters out the window and re-design/revise your response when you re-post in the crit areas. I often do this! The challenge creates the setting and characters for me - then I can take them further in a way I would rather do so that fits my own writing style and comfort zone.

Great! I have much to do today, but when I can log in and spend some time with my muse, I will give this a go. Who knows, maybe I'll continue your story? I DO love this genre.

Cheers,
~Lori

Posted by: Alan Mar 5 14, 10:23

NOT THE SLIGHTEST MARK

Shall we have new bed of metal ? Wood ?
If only we could chose to have both !
For many a year the old one stood
and oh how I wish that I still could
cavort inspired, in your undergrowth.

Many a year you were passing fair
so I’m proud to say I staked my claim;
for such a long time my ring you’d wear,
and gave me fine children, twelve, all there -
unique characters, no two the same.

Consumed, then exhausted we would lay
as dim daylight faded into black,
and we’d sleep right through to the next day.
To work I would wend my cheery way
dreaming of you, then hurrying back.

I think of you often, with a sigh
as I trudge towards departing hence.
My time on Earth ? Reassured am I
to have made small mark as I slip by -
perhaps not the slightest difference !

(Challenge end words : wood both stood could undergrowth fair claim
wear there same lay black day way back sigh hence I by difference)

Posted by: JustDaniel Mar 11 14, 18:32

Very well done, Alan... though it seems a very sad commentary on your view of your impact. I'm quite sure that's not a reality!!

By the way, your use of "lay" would be "lie" there, so you might say "Consumed, our exhausted bodies lay..."

deLighting in your sharing, Daniel

Posted by: JustDaniel Mar 11 14, 19:05

A Brain Mistaken ?

Perhaps my brain is made of wood
or gravel, maybe even both.
To find this out I've often stood
upon my head whene'er I could
where I've found softer undergrowth.

My leaking sawdust isn't fair,
and missing stones is oft the claim
of friends; Rock-Head 's the name I wear.
I feel so low when they are there;
when I'm alone I feel the same.

Last week, each mourn I simply lay
and wallowed in the sooty black
that smoldered in my head all day.
At length I saw this ain't the way
to go, so now I'm creeping back.

Today I woke up with a sigh
of joy, I think, and hope from hence
to give my brain a break, so I
can let it do its thinking by
what's there, and make a difference.

© MLee Dickens'son 2014



Challenge was to use the final words of each line from this Frost poem:

Posted by: Larry Apr 7 14, 23:08

Woodie

I once possessed a car of steel and wood.
The engineering guys had used them both
because of a design they understood
might lead to sales and its esthetics could
chase competition into undergrowth.

At first, their sales were middling to fair
and it did what the advertisers claim
but only people who lived in swimwear
would buy them now. Their surfboards carried there
upon the roof; it never was the same

as that nice car where families might lay
their luggage for a trip... Mine was jet black
and yes, I used it every single day
to drive out to the beach. The only way
to tote my boards to surf and bring them back

without a scratch. Sometimes I sit and sigh
while thinking back to sunny places hence;
remembering good times. I’m glad that I
released that dream for cold hard cash, thereby
I bought a home. It made a difference!


Sorry for the IP format!

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 15 14, 07:13

Hahahaha! Great response Larry!

Posted by: Larry Apr 15 14, 23:02

Hi Lori,

Thanks for the read and the chuckles.

None of the above was true about Woodie ownership or surfing but I was exposed to all that when I lived in California.

Larry

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Apr 16 14, 07:57

Hello Larry.

I spy with my little eye that YOU are having a birthday today!

Happy Birthday!

May you wish on a star.... or two...

and all your dreams come true!

May you receive the coolest with lots of , yummy sweetness , some (chocolate for me) , a few laughs and a whole lot of as you celebrate you!




Happiest of Birthdays to you (and a good year you'll have)!

~Lori

Posted by: Larry Apr 21 14, 23:09

Hi Lori,

Thank you! I had a wonderful birthday.

Now, you try another one of these!!!!!

Larry

Posted by: Alan Aug 13 14, 04:03

DECISIONS, DECISIONS

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both,
I stopped ....

Alan

Posted by: JustDaniel Aug 13 14, 11:03

... and here I am waiting behind you!!

Posted by: Larry Aug 14 14, 23:54

... and I was behind you but decided not to wait.

Thought I'd try to emulate Frost's metrics with this one instead of falling back on IP.


Walking Sticks

I’m on my porch where I whittle wood,
some Oak and Pine; I like to carve both.
The limbs are all that’s left where they stood
trying to reach the sky if they could
but now there’s nothing left but undergrowth.

I’m not an expert carver but fair
and some small expertise I can claim
because of practice. Now I always wear
a leather apron down to there…
once scarred, I’d like to keep it the same.

First, I check how the knots and grains lay
then shave away the brown and black
bark. Perhaps I’ll get a small lathe some day
but meanwhile, I’ll just do it my way.
My grandpa showed me how to carve way back

when he was still around. With a sigh,
I often recall what he taught, hence
the character of each stick that I
complete is like it was done by
his hands, not mine. That’s the difference.

Posted by: Alan Aug 17 14, 02:41

Sticks and stoned can break my bones
but words can never beat me

Larry's motto.

Love
Alan

Posted by: Larry Aug 17 14, 08:37

Hi Alan,

A word is but a tool and we must find the nut on which it fits.

Thanks for the read and the visit.

Larry

Posted by: Larry Jul 1 15, 23:02

Pennant for Trebor Tsorf


Perhaps it’s just indifference
and not the fact they don’t come by
to post or crit or read so I
continue on my way. From hence
no tears will fall; a patient sigh

may find escape. I’d bring them back
with open arms or find a way
to fill these halls again one day.
Most forums are cobwebbed and black
with no one there to pen a lay

and everything remains the same.
I guess I could go here and there
to post a piece but it would wear
upon my nerves and I might claim
it’s good but it would just be fair.

I’ll hide in Karnak’s undergrowth
and hope for some small change; it could
bring back a few who understood
to raise the dead… I’ll carry both
a torch and cross made out of wood.