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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011 _ Chances

Posted by: Athena Feb 23 04, 06:01

Chances

Chances
taken in life
expand our horizons,
while avoiding risky ventures
stagnates.

© D R Harris - 23 February 2004

Note: I don't necessarily believe that chancey living is wise, but there have been times it worked out right for me.

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 23 04, 06:19

Hi Dolly!

Another cool piece!

I'm thinking about the word 'hiding' - for some reason it sticks out? What about straying perhaps?

Hugs!
~Cleo :)

Posted by: codger Feb 24 04, 10:10

Wouldn't life be dull if we never took the odd risk or chance--wise words.

Gerry.

Posted by: blondie Feb 24 04, 11:35

Hi there, Dolly!

I enjoyed your cinquain. :) I have noticed you seem to have a knack for these, which I admire. I am fond of the form, but I have trouble compacting a solid message into so few lines. You do it quite well! :)

I can relate to this piece.....I guess it's the risk-taking "Aries" in me...

Take care and happy writing!

~Amy~

Posted by: Athena Feb 25 04, 18:56

QUOTE(Cleo_Serapis @ Feb. 23 2004, 03:19)

Hi Dolly!

Another cool piece!

I'm thinking about the word 'hiding' - for some reason it sticks out? What about straying perhaps?

Hugs!
~Cleo :)

Hi Lori,

I pondered what you said and replaced "hiding" with "avoiding". What do you thnk? Does this work better?

Thanks for stopping by and commenting,

Hugs,

Dolly

Posted by: Athena Feb 25 04, 18:58

QUOTE(codger @ Feb. 24 2004, 07:10)

Wouldn't life be dull if we never took the odd risk or chance--wise words.

Gerry.

Yes Gerry, I do believe you're correct. Thanks for stopping and commenting, friend.

Blessings,

Dolly

Posted by: Athena Feb 25 04, 19:05

QUOTE(blondie @ Feb. 24 2004, 08:35)

Hi there, Dolly!

I enjoyed your cinquain. :) I have noticed you seem to have a knack for these, which I admire. I am fond of the form, but I have trouble compacting a solid message into so few lines. You do it quite well! :)

I can relate to this piece.....I guess it's the risk-taking "Aries" in me...

Take care and happy writing!

~Amy~

Hi Amy,

Glad you liked this wee poem. I had the same problem in the beginning, with feeling the need of too many words. I'm still working on it, but the way I began was reading Daniel's fine cinqs and then writing a poem about some subject, using as few words as possible. Then, I began eliminating words in order to fit the poem's syllable count ... lo and behold, I found I didn't really NEED all the words I'd thought I did.

Thanks for your compliments and good luck in writing one of your own! When you do, let me know as I want to read it, OK?

Blessings,

Dolly

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Feb 25 04, 19:43

Hiya Dolly! :)

Melikes!!!!!

:pharoah2

Posted by: Athena Feb 26 04, 00:29

Hey Lori! MELIKESTOO! Thanks for letting me know something needed changing!

Hugs,

Dolly

Posted by: Siren Feb 26 04, 10:00

Dolly,

So much said with few words.

Enjoyed

Dani

Posted by: Zeus² Feb 26 04, 16:59

Dolly,
so much said poignantly with so few words.
Larry

Posted by: Athena Mar 1 04, 05:03

QUOTE(Siren @ Feb. 26 2004, 07:00)

Dolly,

So much said with few words.

Enjoyed

Dani

Hi Dani ... it takes time and doing to improve one's skills. Daniel's been telling me this for years and I think I'm just beginning to find my muse.

Thank you for your kindness in stopping and commenting,

Dolly

Posted by: Athena Mar 1 04, 05:06

QUOTE(Zeus² @ Feb. 26 2004, 13:59)

Dolly,
so much said poignantly with so few words.
Larry

Ahhhhhh yes, my friend ... a lesson I'm learning more about every day. I've noticed the last lingering taste of my foot-in-my-mouth is leaving. When one's mouth is moving it's hard to engage ears or muse.

Thank you, larry,

Dolly