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jeannefiedler
Posted on: Apr 10 15, 05:00


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Wow, on the trails. I've seen this exact imagery. It's nice when you can bond with someone's poem, and know exactly what they see. The thistles, those awful things, will turn into something beautiful, like the 'tresses that bounce,' and the reflections that greet it. Beautiful nature poem.
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #137098 · Replies: 7 · Views: 4,712

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Apr 10 15, 04:55


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Wow, great images and emotions that went into this piece. I like the flaming torch image and the buttoned up bud. Scary, it expresses to me, anyway, the powerful environment with all its problems. You've expressed this so articulately. Thanks, great read!
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #137097 · Replies: 11 · Views: 8,548

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Mar 9 15, 12:24


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Thank you Eisa, I tried to use your advice in my own way. I still need to revise some more I think
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #136925 · Replies: 3 · Views: 2,811

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Mar 5 15, 12:55


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The turquoise ocean
whimpers and howls
the frothy waves
hit the rocks
and the moss formations
of the shore

The cypress tree
poses symmetrically
her branches forming
an innocent design
her leafy top
like a little cap

The bleary eyes
of the sun
appear in
the sky
the ocean looks
mighty and stands
alone
musing and dancing
conducting its choir
of loud and soft but
discernible sounds

Right here now
amidst my fever
I bask in
the green-blue life
letting it pull me
turn me around
sending me on
my way
as I let go
and drift into
its free and easy
song
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #136873 · Replies: 3 · Views: 2,811

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 2 14, 05:22


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I completed a new revision. Thanks for the critique Eisa.
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134619 · Replies: 6 · Views: 6,079

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Mar 20 14, 13:22


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The birth of spring
a renaissance of new life
patterns beginning again
as intoxicating scents
of blossoms and greenery or
a soft tear of a raindrop on a petal

We slow down and let our relaxation
spin us around a little
carefree and innocent
childlike - we discover anew
the water adrift - our bodies serene
We are full of creativity
and dream of romance

Songs of the breeze
a white cottage where
our spirits reside
We relive this vibration
year after year
each time a fresh new outlook
where dew leaves its impression
on our minds
- a new start -
the beginning of a new adventure
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #134307 · Replies: 6 · Views: 6,079

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Sep 29 13, 11:29


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I have experienced people dying of AIDs, and I understand the desolate, sense of "forgotteness" these people have. I had a girlfriend die at age 36, "Tears" at Authspot.com. She was so beautiful, talented and young and was taken from us. What could she have said to herself, except "It's my fault!" I still think about her and miss her. One thing for sure, during the days right before her death, a sense of peace overcame her. She just went with the flow in the present moment. Beautiful communication - such a hard thing to describe, but you did it remarkably well. So sad, thank you, jeanne
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #133284 · Replies: 11 · Views: 4,341

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Sep 20 13, 13:15


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Some things are timeless and having babies is definitely one of them. What a beautiful mother-child bond. You are one with your baby and always will be, as I picked up from the nature images and the love as "ancient" - something that always was and always be. Thank you.
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #133256 · Replies: 9 · Views: 4,728

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Sep 20 13, 13:10


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How beautiful and dreamlike
this was such a flowing piece
I loved all the nature images
and how softly they moved
throughout the poem, thank you
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #133255 · Replies: 11 · Views: 7,820

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Sep 10 13, 04:51


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I looked it up and finally saw what everyone meant by ***. I will use a ** for now, just to see how it goes. Thank you again, jeanne
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #133192 · Replies: 8 · Views: 4,375

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Sep 9 13, 09:42


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Dear Psyche, Thanks for telling me about the typo. As for the ***, I have no idea what you're talking about or when I put that in.
Yes, of course my poetry needs criticism for me to grow. I'd like to know how to change it, I can't find where I put it. Tell Lori thanks too. jeanne Another problem, my book is on this website's store, I don't want to seem too dim. But I know there's plenty wrong with poem. So, go ahead.
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #133189 · Replies: 8 · Views: 4,375

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Sep 5 13, 07:54


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I've felt much loss
about my life
but now I'm going
through changes
the little things
that irked me so
have dissipated in
the atmosphere...

the blossom of hope
unravels
that yellow lotus flower
it brings the stranger
of my higher self
inside my anxious mind

I visualize and imagine
feel quiet peace within
my cat like paws
lead me softly to truth
the blue gloaming night
the pink/violet dawn
I feel completely whole
once more
lit up by the message
of life...
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #133161 · Replies: 8 · Views: 4,375

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Jun 18 13, 07:24


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Marigolds and daisies
in my garden lean
kindly towards the
golden sun,
the light intensely
reflects off my
skin leaving it
slightly tan -
images of blue ocean
water start to drift
and float through
my mind.
I close my eyes
and envision wandering
aimlessly on my back
on top of the water
moving low tide
serenely up and down,
such peace...

The trails are
a brilliant jade
glowing
a rush of clear
air revives the
trees -
blowing -
the meadow lights
up and an aura of
light appears to
open the way
for all animals
to graze in delicate,
mysteries of life
and calm.
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #132436 · Replies: 5 · Views: 2,512

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 11 13, 04:16


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Member No.: 793


The busy rat race
of competition
makes us angry, cold,
and insincere

The outer world
brings trials of insensitivity
the wanting of the material
the luster of gold and white diamonds

We need to face it
embrace our bold, blue hearts
bring out the delicate
shimmering lily of gentleness

We need to be soft
and kind as the deer
The baby fawn who
puts her nose on our window

The scurrying bunny
quiet and peaceful
her image of wonder
scurrying peacefully about

Our relationships will
be totally unconditional
if we add gentleness
and look within our bright souls

The song of sweetness,
goodness and compassion
will fill our spirits
with energy and life
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #131818 · Replies: 6 · Views: 2,569

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 27 12, 06:40


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I'm a seagull
turning the wind into music
hiding out
in my tree containing
all my bird knowledge
which must be remarkable
They FLY after all...
They soar

I'm soaring through life
connected to the heavens
like the birds
and sharing the celestial knowledge
bringing a bit here
and a bit there back
to the earth

Seeing the world
move by so quietly
so quickly...so birdlike

They see tops of trees
That must be nice
and clouds...

They look down
at the earth
intensely taking it all in...
celestial spirits
moving through the seasons,
restless...singing among
the beats of the sun
radiating images...shadows...

Tossing sideways, flickering
in flocks...hearts full of song
love in the air...

What creatures!
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #128318 · Replies: 3 · Views: 2,653

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 11 12, 11:06


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Member No.: 793


If I Were a Mystic (sorry about the spelling)



I've crossed
your path
We'll find
out why -
You be you
part of the sky...

I will sustain
and find the link
that connects
like a chain
let us think...

Was it karma,
a past life?
or a reaping
from being nice...

What ever it
was, we will
resolve...
what was meant
for our meeting
to evolve...
like a flower
budding each
season to
ask for food/
then bending
softly to the
sunlight in
the wood...
Attached thumbnail(s)
Attached Image
 
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #127949 · Replies: 3 · Views: 3,209

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 8 12, 15:16


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Member No.: 793


I can identify with this girl. I was a snot and had many suitors in elementary school. I never went
to my high school reunions either. But how nice to know that someone might have thought of me
as nice and loving as that. This poem made me feel like letting my shadow come out and letting
her play awhile. She is important too, by the way, I like to comment on the content of poetry instead
of wording and images. I like the core, the essence inside the soul of a poem. Thank you, I loved
reading this!
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #127887 · Replies: 18 · Views: 6,491

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 8 12, 15:07


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Member No.: 793


The loves of our life. I am still as idealistic and naive as I was in my youth. I know how you feel. You remember
lost loves and can't help still loving them, and why they broke up. I miss my soul mate. But, I'm hoping someone
will come along for the duration of the rest of my life. But they have to live up to my standards. That may be the
difference of age and youth. Great love poem!
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #127886 · Replies: 4 · Views: 4,218

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Jan 12 12, 07:20


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Group: Silver Member
Posts: 25
Joined: 9-May 09
Member No.: 793


I can't believe that
people still think about these
things. With all the problems
on this earth,
why do we need to worry
about other planets?
The universe is part
of me, where I'd like
to be, to enlarge my
mind and to meet the Divine
to help people find themselves
in this lost world, we're lost in
space, we need to just join
it to be loving, productive
and most of all, happy.
We need to find
our place in it, cocreaters
of each other and our
creations...life does
not need to be unhappy
the universe is abundant...
everyone knows these
things, but do we really
get out there and give
to people in pain and suffering
or are we just self-absorbed
with all the material, practical
problems...
I think we all need to be
nurtured a little...
A little postive reinforcement,
could give us some get up
and go, negativity is so
useless, but we all like
to criticize everything,
I know I do,
I'm going to focus on
the positive things people
do, we must stand
together as writers
in doing this,
we're all in misery
right now, let's
give out out out
and then we can
see our acts of
kindness rewarded,
Thank you, God,
Thank you, Universe
Thank you, fellow artists
For giving me all that
I need...
I hope I didn't bore
you with my common
philosphies, but I just
had to slow down and
catch my breath...
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #126092 · Replies: 4 · Views: 2,880

jeannefiedler
Posted on: Dec 31 11, 12:59


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Group: Silver Member
Posts: 25
Joined: 9-May 09
Member No.: 793


Wondering...
The next day
Out of the moment
What holds the key
To the magic treasure
Of life forms and solar systems
In the far reaching future...
Out of time,
Drifting in space,

We should think
About these things
Is the earth
ready for more
advanced life?
Will they come
Down to us?
Are they walking
The planet already?

We dream of miracles
Made by man
Let's ponder them
For a moment...
What do you see?

A blue earth
The moon
What else?

Take time to
Envision it...
  Forum: Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren'... · Post Preview: #126035 · Replies: 2 · Views: 2,503

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 10 09, 05:50


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Group: Silver Member
Posts: 25
Joined: 9-May 09
Member No.: 793


mickeymouse.gif rollerskater.gif
I am into all kinds of art,music, theatre and poetry. I'm also a nature lover and environmentallist. I believe nature becomes one with you and is healthy and healing to all you traumas and anxieties. Art, too, becomes part of that place that stands between you and your traumas and heals and helps you transcend them. I'm also a people person and love all the poems about human nature. I hope you will give me some helpful feedback to help me with my poems.
  Forum: Introduce Yourself · Post Preview: #115039 · Replies: 4 · Views: 5,706

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 10 09, 05:38


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Member No.: 793


This poem surprised me in a good way, because I don't know people so open minded. I like the way you celebrated their youthful spirit coupled with their wisdom. The botox and tinted shades made me laugh, it's so typical. Maybe you could have included some of their conversation or maybe we were just supposed to guess, it's only me, I don't always know. Did you imply that botox and tinted shades make us wise? Or maybe just vain. I'm at fault there too. It was realistic. Good job!
  Forum: ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011 · Post Preview: #115038 · Replies: 11 · Views: 4,314

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 10 09, 05:32


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Member No.: 793


Hi, and thank you for good feedback. This poem is something I could relate too, as I too, hate shades of gray.
But I accept them. Perhaps your message could have been deeper. Gray is beautiful too, even though we all shudder at the thought of being it. It's only me, maybe I don't know. The elepant showed good imagination and the child seeing it was also good. I enjoyed this, thank you!
  Forum: ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011 · Post Preview: #115037 · Replies: 15 · Views: 9,537

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 10 09, 05:26


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Group: Silver Member
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Member No.: 793


The scene you created is beautiful, a beautiful woman dressed like and produced by the ocean, I loved it, but I think you could have put more of her personality qualities in, so we would understand a little better. Was she a human or a goddess?
I think you wrote articulately and you did a good job!
  Forum: ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011 · Post Preview: #115036 · Replies: 22 · Views: 7,835

jeannefiedler
Posted on: May 9 09, 17:28


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Group: Silver Member
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Joined: 9-May 09
Member No.: 793


Aphrodite was a beautiful queen
a dangerous offspring
living in the physical plane

Woe were her dark and blackened
temptations
but her glamour left them unattended
What folly!

I want to rise above the physical
the blackness
my heart is pure
everything I touch
laugh and love

Only love can radiate
true beauty

The soul speaks
the loudest

Love transforms us
We can transcend the myths
of seduction and romance
and become lucid in our
spirit

Steady grace and compassion
to metamorphasize
into the transcendence
of wisdom and innocence

We are reborn into a world
of humanism
Where we find our
true soulmates
  Forum: ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011 · Post Preview: #115031 · Replies: 5 · Views: 3,033


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