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> HAIBUN
Guest_alice_*
post Jul 31 09, 10:31
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Haibun combines prose and haiku. Modern Haibun is still evolving just like haiku. So, the explanation that follows is really a general pattern rather than hard and fast rules.
Original Japanese haibun was created by a Japanese poet-monk known as Basho who mostly wrote about his journeys through Japan.Haibun today tends to focus on daily urban experiences as well as natural settings.

Haibun has been described as a narrative of an epiphany, but a lot are simply stories of special moments in our lives.

Haibun prose is largely descriptive utilizing terse, poetic prose and shortened sentence structure impart a stream of sensory impressions. Mostly Haibun avoids philosophical comment. It is involved more with 'showing' rather than 'telling'. Most of the time, [but not necessarily] it is written in the present tense—as if the experience is unfolding now. Some do write about fantasy or dreams.

The one or more haiku that accompany haibun prose are of two types. The first summarizes the feel of the prose, but without repeating words or phrases or images already contained in the prose. The haiku may be a juxtaposition—seemingly different yet connected. The second is a haiku that moves beyond the prose passage taking the reader yet one step further in the narrative.

below is a novice's example :)

Duck Lake is beautiful in late afternoon and of course we had come to see the ducks, but seagulls seem to like it too. Hundreds of them blacken the sky, flying in to roost for the night. They settle on grass, cutting the air with squawks. Ducks peer out from reeds to watch this afternoon ritual from a safe distance. Other birds do fly-bys prefering not to stop. I'm glad we did.

inky shadows
across the sun's path
pelicans

Alice44 © 2009
 
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Eisa
post Aug 2 09, 17:11
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Hi Alice

I haven't had chance to welcome you to MM yet -- so WELCOME! PartyFavor.gif

Thank you for your explanation of a haibun. I have only read a few before and was interested in your very good offering.

A few suggestions from a non-expert!



Duck Lake is beautiful in late afternoon and [of course] we had come to see the ducks, but seagulls seem to like it too. Hundreds of them blacken the sky, flying in to roost for the night. They settle on grass, cutting the air with squawks. Ducks peer out from reeds to watch this afternoon ritual from a safe distance. Other birds do fly-bys prefering not to stop. I'm glad we did.

Lovely descriptions here, I particularly like ~

Hundreds of them blacken the sky

cutting the air with squawks

I'm not sure if 'of course' is needed in that first sentence.



inky shadows
across the sun's path
pelicans

I think this haiku is excellent - I love the inky shadow of the 1st line.

I have overall really enjoyed reading your haibun -- please write some more!!!!!!

Snow
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Guest_alice_*
post Aug 3 09, 10:05
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snow, thanks for your warm welcome, and your right (of course) doesn't need to be there..

I'm just getting into haibun, I find these small forms stretch me..

regards
Alice hsdance.gif
 
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Guest_ohsteve_*
post Aug 3 09, 16:01
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Alice, an interesting piece. It's too bad that you weren't here about a month ago, a member who has left was into writing Hiabun and you could have bounced ideas off from him. I have written some Hiaku and some senyru and have gotten a little stuck with the 5-7-5 17 syllables and the need to express or imply a season in Hiaku. I still liked your piece.

Steve
 
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ace
post Aug 10 09, 16:59
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Alice:

Sorry to be so late in posting, but as I was trying to critique another entrty that sorta combined prosaic work with poetry I remembered your entry. So thanks for the education One question on the poetic part: blue or black (inky) pelicans?


ace
 
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Thoth
post Aug 27 09, 15:41
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Hi Alice,
I have not come across this form before and it intrigues me as I do find haiku a little limiting in expression. I'm going to have a go. Thank you for educating us.

Wally


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JustDaniel
post Sep 5 09, 11:39
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Greetings, Alice!

This is my first post here after a very long absence. Great to see someone writing haibun. I took an interest in it some time ago, but never pursued it. I think you've done a great job not only with your specific piece (with the correction that Snow offered and you accepted), but in your description of the form.

I just checked, and there is not post in Karnak [<--link; click here] to describe the form, so I suggest that you go there and post yours, for the sake of the cause!

deLighting to meet you, Daniel sun.gif


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