Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

IPB
 
Reply to this topicStart new topic
> Cornflowers and Poppies **, Free verse (some metaphors)
Ali zonak
post Jul 27 17, 10:52
Post #1


Babylonian
*

Group: Gold Member
Posts: 102
Joined: 22-June 17
From: Arizona, USA
Member No.: 5,325
Real Name: Ali Zonak
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:none



Cornflowers and Poppies

When I was young, I saw first love
in waving fields of wheat correction: "in fields of waving wheat" Thank you, Eira!
still safe from reapers’ scythes.
So lovely was your face—
with cornflower eyes that shone
in heaven’s blue. And your lips—
those lips, kissed by the summer
sun—how they glowed in poppy red
as I embraced you with my brush’s strokes.

At harvest time came sharpened
blades, and all your beauty fell to naught
before my gaze, till I beheld a barren
stubble field, soon plowed and buried
in the soil— But let no plowshare lay
to rest my painted memories of you.


·······IPB·······

~~~~
It is a poem’s absolute perfection that can lead to its imperfection.
~~~~
 
+Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Eisa
post Jul 28 17, 16:49
Post #2


Mosaic Master
Group Icon

Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Hi Ali,

I love the beautiful descriptions in this poem.

with cornflower eyes that shone
in heaven’s blue And your lips—
those lips, kissed by the summer
sun—how they glowed in poppy red
as I embraced you with my brush’s strokes.


One thought- L2 might read better as in fields of waving wheat as I feel it is the wheat (not the fields) that are waving?

A poignant ending, but so true. Where would we be without our memories.

A very enjoyable read, Ali.
Eira





·······IPB·······

Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal.
Write from the heart - it's therapeutic.
Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin!

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!

MM Award Winner
 
+Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
Ali zonak
post Jul 28 17, 17:29
Post #3


Babylonian
*

Group: Gold Member
Posts: 102
Joined: 22-June 17
From: Arizona, USA
Member No.: 5,325
Real Name: Ali Zonak
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:none



QUOTE (Eisa @ Jul 28 17, 17:49 ) *
Hi Ali,

I love the beautiful descriptions in this poem.

with cornflower eyes that shone
in heaven’s blue And your lips—
those lips, kissed by the summer
sun—how they glowed in poppy red
as I embraced you with my brush’s strokes.


One thought- L2 might read better as in fields of waving wheat as I feel it is the wheat (not the fields) that are waving?

A poignant ending, but so true. Where would we be without our memories.

A very enjoyable read, Ali.
Eira


Thank you, Eira. You are quite correct. It seemed so right the other way around, lol. Well, DUH!


·······IPB·······

~~~~
It is a poem’s absolute perfection that can lead to its imperfection.
~~~~
 
+Quote Post  Go to the top of the page
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

Reply to this topicStart new topic

 

RSS Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 28th March 2024 - 18:52




Read our FLYERS - click below



Reference links provided to aid in fine-tuning your writings. ENJOY!

more Quotes
more Art Quotes
Dictionary.com ~ Thesaurus.com

Search:
for
Type in a word below to find its rhymes, synonyms, and more:

Word: