 Turmoil And Unrest |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
 Nov 12 05, 04:43
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#1
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 4,592 Joined: 31-October 03 From: New Jersey Member No.: 39 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Larry Carr  |
2nd Revision: 11/27 am:
TURMOIL AND UNREST Challenged by family turmoil, we choose to worry over what may embroil. Stressed by global unrest, we question those clergy who say we’re so "blessed". Troubled by political corruption, we hope for honesty to halt ethical disruption. Sickened by school violence, we counsel our children to guard against ambivalence. Scarred by sour revelations, we wonder if mistakes bear additional frustrations. Burdened by panic and doubt, we fear our future will be financial drought. Beset by weather’s devastation, we try to make sense of nature’s ruinous aberration. Are noble expectations ambitiously idealistic, or just lofty interpretations? TURMOIL AND UNREST Challenged by family turmoil, we choose to worry about all that may embroil. Stressed by global unrest, we question those clergy who say we are so blessed. Troubled by political corruption, we wish for honesty to halt ethical disruption. Saddened by school violence, we counsel our children to guard against ambivalence. Scarred by sour expectations, we wonder if our mistakes bear additional frustrations. Burdened by panic and doubt, we fear our future will be a financial drought. Beset with weather's devastation, we try to make sense of nature's ruinous aberration. Are our noble expectations ambitiously idealistic, or just lofty interpretations? ·······  ·······Give thanks for your new friends of today, but never forget the warm hugs of your yesterdays.
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner             |
  
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| Guest_Nina_* |
Nov 12 05, 17:30
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#2
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Hi John
An interesting poem that is perhaps slightly idealistic. Perhaps we should act rather than just think. A few thoughts for you to use or reject as you wish. [+] {-} (comment) TURMOIL AND UNREST Challenged by family turmoil, we choose to worry {about}[over] all that may embroil. Stressed by global unrest, we question those clergy who say {we are}[we're] so blessed. Troubled by political corruption, we wish for honesty to halt ethical disruption. Saddened by school violence, we counsel our children to guard against ambivalence. Scarred by sour expectations, we wonder if our mistakes bear additional frustrations. Burdened by panic and doubt, we fear our future will be {a} financial drought. Beset {with}[by] weather's devastation, we try to make sense of nature's ruinous aberration. Are our noble expectations ambitiously idealistic, or just lofty interpretations? Nina |
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Nov 13 05, 08:06
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#3
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 4,592 Joined: 31-October 03 From: New Jersey Member No.: 39 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Larry Carr |
Nina,
Thanks for the comments, they are most helpful. I would be interested to know what challenges and concerns are foremost in the minds of others here at M. M. JLY ······· ·······Give thanks for your new friends of today, but never forget the warm hugs of your yesterdays.
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_Cathy_* |
Nov 13 05, 12:06
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#4
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Hi John,
There is so much to be concerned about in this world ... where do you start? I think you've begun your poem well, family concerns. Take care of the homefront and move on from there. Lose the suggestions if you can't use them ... *smiles* Challenged by family turmoil, we choose to worry about all that may embroil. Stressed by global unrest, we question {those} clergy who say we are {so} blessed. Troubled by political corruption, we wish for honesty Could also use 'hope'. to halt ethical disruption. Saddened by school violence, we counsel our children to guard against ambivalence. Scarred by sour expectations, we wonder if {our} mistakes bear additional frustrations. Burdened by panic and doubt, we fear our future will be {a} financial drought. Beset with weather's devastation, we try to make sense of nature's ruinous aberration. Are {our} noble expectations ambitiously idealistic, or {just} lofty interpretations? Unreachable dreams? Something to think about isn't it? Cathy |
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Nov 13 05, 13:47
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#5
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 4,592 Joined: 31-October 03 From: New Jersey Member No.: 39 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Larry Carr |
Cathy,
Thanks for your suggestions. Yes hope should be included as well. JLY ······· ·······Give thanks for your new friends of today, but never forget the warm hugs of your yesterdays.
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_Toumai_* |
Nov 14 05, 17:34
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#6
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Hi John,
I like the way you make the questions here add up to so much more. each verse is very simply made but with so much meaning. I think the only one I paused on is the very last Are noble expectations ambitiously idealistic, or just lofty interpretations? I felt the quite complex philosophy there rather muddled me after the clarity of the earlier verses. I feel like I want it to be simpler and stronger, somehow. Fran |
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Nov 14 05, 19:11
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#7
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 4,592 Joined: 31-October 03 From: New Jersey Member No.: 39 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Larry Carr |
Fran,
You are very intuitive. My last verse was the most difficult to write...I was trying to find a way to summarize my questions with a question and I really didn't think it came out so good. I am trying to think of a better resolution to my premise. JLY ······· ·······Give thanks for your new friends of today, but never forget the warm hugs of your yesterdays.
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Nov 14 05, 22:43
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#8
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 2,085 Joined: 24-May 04 From: Time, Immoral Member No.: 66 Writer of: Poetry |
You've discovered the recipe for ulcers, JLY. Make sure you keep some milk next to the whisky flask!
There's an expression I've used for many a year - don't worry, the sun will come up tomorrow. Merlin ······· ······· |
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Nov 15 05, 06:33
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#9
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 4,592 Joined: 31-October 03 From: New Jersey Member No.: 39 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Larry Carr |
Merlin,
Your advice is very sound and I only began following it about 10 years ago and it works pretty well for me. JLY ······· ·······Give thanks for your new friends of today, but never forget the warm hugs of your yesterdays.
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Nov 27 05, 07:28
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#10
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi John.
A very noteworthy message here.  It's funny how we tend to worry over things that may never come and ignore the things that smack us right in the face. :detective: Here are few comments for you below. Regards! ~Cleo  Challenged by family turmoil, we choose to worry over all that may embroil. (could change this to: over what may embroil.) Stressed by global unrest, we question those clergy who say we’re so “blessed”. (added quotations) Troubled by political corruption, we hope for honesty (trust in an honesty) to halt ethical disruption. (that will halt) Saddened by school violence, (is saddened strong enough - perhaps sickened, appalled or dismayed ?) we counsel our children to guard against ambivalence. Scarred by sour expectations, (suggest revelations to avoid duplication in last stanza) we wonder if mistakes bear additional frustrations. Burdened by panic and doubt, we fear our future will {be} [wade in] financial drought. Beset by weather’s devastation, we try to make sense of nature’s ruinous aberration. Are noble expectations ambitiously idealistic, or just lofty interpretations? ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner   |
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Nov 27 05, 08:08
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#11
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 4,592 Joined: 31-October 03 From: New Jersey Member No.: 39 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Larry Carr |
Lori,
Thanks for your comments. They are most helpful. JLY ······· ·······Give thanks for your new friends of today, but never forget the warm hugs of your yesterdays.
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_Don_* |
Nov 27 05, 16:25
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#12
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Being a born worry wart, I found your subjects for each stanza adequate for daily concern. I also thought your ending was very well selected, because most of what we worry about is wasting time and health.
You may dislike my take, but the summary induced a chuckle. Some irony with levity. Good work! Don 
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Nov 27 05, 17:07
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#13
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 4,592 Joined: 31-October 03 From: New Jersey Member No.: 39 Real Name: John Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Larry Carr |
Don,
Thanks for your comments. Your take on this does not surprise me....it evokes different emotions and humor is one of many that may result from some of the worries I have addressed. JLY ······· ·······Give thanks for your new friends of today, but never forget the warm hugs of your yesterdays.
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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| Guest_Don_* |
Nov 27 05, 17:21
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#14
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My humor is evoked by our propensity to worry needlessly about what usually works out without our interference.
Don |
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