Limericks by Edward Lear (1812-1888)
There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
Two Owls and a Hen,
four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!'
* * * * *
There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied.
She purchased some clogs,
and some small spotted dogs,
And frequently walked about Ryde.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man on a hill,
Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
He ran up and down,
in his Grandmother's gown,
Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.
* * * * *
There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,
Who made a remarkable curtsey;
She twirled round and round,
till she sunk underground,
Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man with a owl,
Who continued to bother and howl;
He sat on a rail
and imbibed bitter ale,
Which refreshed that Old Man and his owl.
* * * * *
There was an Old Person of Burton,
Whose answers were rather uncertain;
When they said, 'How d'ye do?'
he replied, 'Who are you?'
That distressing Old Person of Burton.
* * * * *
There was an Old Person of Ewell,
Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
But to make it more nice
he inserted some mice,
Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.
* * * * *
There was a Young Lady of Parma,
Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer;
When they said, 'Are you dumb?'
she merely said, 'Hum!'
That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
* * * * *
There was a Young Lady of Clare,
Who was sadly pursued by a bear;
When she found she was tired,
she abruptly expired,
That unfortunate Lady of Clare.
* * * * *
There was a Young Lady whose chin,
Resembled the point of a pin;
So she had it made sharp,
and purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
Who never had more than a penny;
He spent all that money,
in onions and honey,
That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man in a boat,
Who said, 'I'm afloat, I'm afloat!'
When they said, 'No! you ain't!'
he was ready to faint,
That unhappy Old Man in a boat.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
Who had the most curious behaviour;
For while he was able,
he slept on a table.
That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man who supposed,
That the street door was partially closed;
But some very large rats,
ate his coats and his hats,
While that futile old gentleman dozed.
* * * * *
There was a Young Lady of Norway,
Who casually sat on a doorway;
When the door squeezed her flat,
she exclaimed, 'What of that?'
This courageous Young Lady of Norway.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man of Vienna,
Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;
When that did not agree,
he took Camomile Tea,
That nasty Old Man of Vienna.
* * * * *
There was an Old Person of Dover,
Who rushed through a field of blue Clover;
But some very large bees,
stung his nose and his knees,
So he very soon went back to Dover.
* * * * *
The was a Young Lady of Bute,
Who played on a silver-gilt flute;
She played several jigs,
to her uncle's white pigs,
That amusing Young Lady of Bute.
* * * * *
There was a Young Lady whose nose,
Was so long that it reached to her toes;
So she hired an Old Lady,
whose conduct was steady,
To carry that wonderful nose.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man of Apulia,
Whose conduct was very peculiar
He fed twenty sons,
upon nothing but buns,
That whimsical Man of Apulia.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man of Nepaul,
From his horse had a terrible fall;
But, though split quite in two,
by some very strong glue,
They mended that Man of Nepaul.
* * * * *
There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
Who strongly objected to toads;
He paid several cousins,
to catch them by the dozens,
That futile Old Person of Rhodes.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man of Peru,
Who watched his wife making a stew;
But once by mistake,
in a stove she did bake,
That unfortunate Man of Peru.
* * * * *
There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
Whose lovers completely forsook her;
She ran up a tree,
and said, 'Fiddle-de-dee!'
Which embarassed the people of Lucca.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
Who wished he had never been born;
So he sat on a chair,
till he died of despair,
That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.
* * * * *
There was an Old Lady whose folly,
Induced her to sit on a holly;
Whereon by a thorn,
her dress being torn,
She quickly became melancholy.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man of the Dee,
Who was sadly annoyed by a flea;
When he said, 'I will scratch it,'
they gave him a hatchet,
Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.
* * * * *
There was a Young Lady of Hull,
Who was chased by a virulent bull;
But she seized on a spade,
and called out, 'Who's afraid?'
Which distracted that virulent bull.
* * * * *
There was an Old Person of Dutton,
Whose head was as small as a button,
So, to make it look big,
he purchased a wig,
And rapidly rushed about Dutton.
* * * * *
There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
At the sound of each sweep
she enraptured the deep,
And enchanted the city of Tyre.
* * * * *
There was an Old Man of the coast,
Who placidly sat on a post;
But when it was cold
he relinquished his hold
And called for some hot buttered toast.
* * * * *
There was a Young Lady of Troy,
Whom several large flies did annoy;
Some she killed with a thump,
some she drowned at the pump,
And some she took with her to Troy.
* * * * *
Hi Lori, the first one you have here is one of my favorites. I have a couple of others I like.
Blessings
Bren
There was a young fellow named Fisher,
Who was fishing for fish in a fissure,
When a cod with a grin
Pulled the fisherman in;
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
By Edward Lear.
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Another one he wrote that's fun is "The Owl And The Pussy-cat"
Here is a portion.
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat;
They took some honey and plenty of money
Wrapped up in a five-pound note............
By Edward Lear
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