 Snowfall, first free verse written LOL! |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Exhibition Prior to 2006  |
  Oct 26 03, 07:43
Post
#1
|
|
 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep  |
Snowfall
Stargazing luminescent skies, flickers of powdered dust fall upon my pillowcase. Blustery breezes envelop my waning thoughts of a fetid Holiday leftover. Winter’s breath resonates fringes of naked skin revealed to Mother Earth. My eyes fill with whiteout admiring her burdens freely relinquished. Her radiance warms shimmering moonlight amidst atmospheric gloom. No two alike, yet notably analogous, flakes falls unprejudiced. I contemplate moments of childhood recollection with a shiver and smile. © 2003 Lorraine M Kanter ·······  ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
  
|
|
|
Jul 6 04, 05:08
Post
#2
|
|
 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 18,578 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Am I free too
to speak? ... but then who am I to prejudice you with the thought that it could be dandruff? 
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner   |
|
|
|
|
Jul 9 04, 07:43
Post
#3
|
|
|
Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
QUOTE (Just Daniel @ July 06 2004, 06:08) Am I free too to speak? ... but then who am I to prejudice you with the thought that it could be dandruff?  Very good Daniel! :sun: Actually - you are the first to mention that since I wrote this piece so long ago! :wizard: Pillowcase = dandruff  :jester: Very astute! Somewhere while writing, it turned from comedic to serious..... :read: Cheers and thanks for stopping in! ~Cleo :pharoah: ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
|
|
|
| Guest_Tao_* |
Aug 20 04, 16:45
Post
#4
|
 |
Hi Lori,
Believe or not, and this could be my taste speaking, if fact no doubt, to me (is that enough disclaiming yet?  ), you have a stronger voice in free verse. It may not be to your liking, but you come across to me more natural in free verse! And this was only your first piece? I'm very impressed. The words and phrasing in S3, 5, 6 and 7 are all meaningful, more so, to me, well felt and delicately fell.  David :) |
|
|
|
|
Aug 21 04, 12:34
Post
#5
|
|
 Creative Chieftain Posts: 862 Joined: 25-June 04 From: Ohio, USA Member No.: 70 Real Name: Susan Eckenrode Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Merlin |
fine imagery, flow and feel...but gotta ask, what's with the
'flickers of powdered dust on the pillow case"?...flecks of flaky skin caused by dry winter air...or maybe, fairy dust? :speechless: nice work...you're a natural for FV. :pharoah2 Sue ······· ······· |
|
|
|
|
Aug 21 04, 12:55
Post
#6
|
|
 Babylonian Posts: 80 Joined: 25-January 04 From: Alpharetta, Ga. Member No.: 52 Real Name: Elaine Crump Writer of: Poetry |
Hi Lori!
 This is really stunning.  You've gathered all the wonderful shivery images of winter and flowed them together into a seamless melody. Loved it!  My favorite: with a shiver and a smile Lovely! Hugs: Lady E ······· ······· |
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
|
|
Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 25th April 2024 - 15:25 |
Read our FLYERS - click below
|
| more Quotes |
| ||
|
|
|
|
