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> Rondeau, Poetic Form Exercise
JustDaniel
post Mar 20 07, 11:23
Post #41


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Anime

An enema by any other name
is still an enemy to me; don’t maim
me with that putrid tea I must ingest
while lying down; how is it 'for the best'
your stuffing me to strains of La bohème ?

I will not take it lying down. A flame
of indignation burns inside; who’d blame
my flailing zest the way that I protest
an enema?

'You’re full of it! you yell at me… and claim
that I’m upset for nothing… yet you aim
a dripping dildo where you’d rough undressed
my frame to my suggestions you’re possessed…
obsessed with showing me that you could tame
an enema.

© MLee Dickens'son 20 March 2007



Is Grief Good?

Good grief! I’m turning brown; I need
relief from stress. It does impede
my maturation; I’ve been stuck….
Am I the kind who’d pass a buck…
could I digest it, I’d suck seed.

That Lucy made me turn to weed
while Snoop just watched, yet I would feed
their egos… and she called me Chuck.
Good grief!

Once higher than my kite, on speed,
I kicked a field goal… and I peed
all over Linus’ blanket, struck
a note on Schroeder – what a schmuck –
he pulled my string, and I was treed.
Good grief!

© MLee Dickens'son 20 March 2007


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jgdittier
post Mar 20 07, 13:04
Post #42


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My Muse's Affair

My muse and I converged in preparing this expose which
relates ONLY to the experiences of my muse.

When once we met, that's me and you,
we thought of love and our love grew.
I thought of you as "honey bee",
how great it was, our jubilee.
When I would pucker, you would coo.

And so we bonded, just like glue.,
avowing ne'er to say "adieu".
You'd steam my shirt, I'd stir your stew,
when once we met...

And then He showed how he'd subdue...
My fickle heart went all askew.
So now it's he who's right for me.
Good-bye to you, I now must flee.
A cad am I, and now untrue,
since once we met...


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JustDaniel
post Mar 20 07, 13:51
Post #43


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I'm a little confused as to what's happened to whom here in the end... whether your muse or you... and what the gender of this muse is, if there indeed be a gender. I love what you're doing with this Ron. It's quite ingenious in my mind... but I'm just a bit confused in the ending ?

deLighting to see your rondeau, Daniel sun.gif


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Guest_Kathy_*
post Mar 21 07, 00:56
Post #44





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[quote name='JustDaniel' date='Mar 21 07, 02:23 ' post='93180']
Anime

An enema by any other name
is still an enemy to me; don’t maim
me with that putrid tea I must ingest
while lying down; how is it 'for the best'
your stuffing me to strains of La bohème ?

I will not take it lying down. A flame
of indignation burns inside; who’d blame
my flailing zest the way that I protest
an enema?

'You’re full of it,' you yell at me… and claim
that I’m upset for nothing… yet you aim
a dripping dildo where you’d rough undressed
my frame to my suggestions you’re possessed…
obsessed with showing me that you could tame
an enema.

© MLee Dickens'son 20 March 2007



Love it!!! Hahahahaha rofl.gif
 
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jgdittier
post Mar 21 07, 06:38
Post #45


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DEar Daniel,
Your range in subject matter continues to amaze. I'm constantly afraid you'll max out and destroy my smile-meter.
As to my muse, this was posted elsewhere I was the subject (fiction of course) but I changed the
pronouns and posted it here. I agree, I think of all cads as male and yet as posted , the cad is my female muse. I wondered how many might detect what you just have.
Cheers, ron jgd


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JustDaniel
post Mar 21 07, 07:54
Post #46


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Thank you, Kathy...

and thank you for the explanation, Ron. I'm glad I was indeed on the right page with you... and that the 'confusion' seems to have been purposed (as I suspected)...

As you know, I've been playing with rondeaux this month, so here's another one... that kind of describes both the creation of a rondeau and the participation of others in the process of creating poetry:


Learning by Doing

He’s learning by doing while others look on
who care to show patiently… cause light to dawn
in a way that will stick on his fingers so well
that he’ll drop by the pub on his way home to tell
some bloke how to write a rondeau, name o’ Sean.

He’ll have picked out his opening phrase; soon he’s drawn
a picture with movement while munching a prawn.
His pitcher of ale now becomes his inkwell;
he’s learning by doing.

Ol’ Sean gets excited as he looks upon
an image expanding as though his front lawn
were blossoming green on St. Paddy’s; the smell
of fresh heather and clover is starting to swell
inside that old pub. As his brain speaks with brawn,
he’s learning by doing.


© MLee Dickens'son 19 March 2007


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Cleo_Serapis
post Nov 4 07, 20:12
Post #47


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Christmas Palette

In Santa’s fields his landscape’s lush
with nature’s snow and tints of blush --
breathe in frost’s air. Now paint the scene
with ornamental red and green;
a Christmas palette’s choral brush.

Open your heart, prepare to flush
those melancholy thoughts, just crush
the hand that holds that Scrooge-like dream,
in Santa’s fields.

Deck all pine trees before the rush
on Christmas Eve – forget to hush
because he rides, yes, sight unseen
with jingle bells and time machine!
It’s true! Believe! His world’s not slush --
in Santa’s fields.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

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"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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jgdittier
post May 25 08, 08:50
Post #48


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Dear All,
The all who read this are not those I'm addressing!
The all I'm addressing are all those who have never discovered the joys of the rondeau and aren't likely to, things being as they are.

I recently was challenged by the greatest modern rondeau writer of them all, Just Daniel, at another site, to commit to writing one piece each 24 hours for a month. I'd been in the doldrums and considerating that no one could impress me more by his challenge than Daniel, I accepted it.

I've 3 to go to complete the challenge, and so I'm totally appreciative of J.D. for dispelling my doldrums. I usually have my daily piece written before breakfast.

Here is #23 (I write rondeaux on Wednesdays)

For she's too fat, she's off her feed.
A diet is the choice she'll heed.
She says the "cocktail" she likes best
she now has banned at doc's request.
To give up "drink" she has agreed.

Her oath, she says, she'll keep, indeed!
It seems so foreign from her creed.
Her normal quaff she must arrest
for she's too fat.

She's overweight, she will concede,
her bloated bod must now recede.
Though she's reformed, she's still a pest.
A "skeeter" she, by now you've guessed.
She's vegan vowed, my fear is freed! (?)
...for she's too fat!

ps- my 24th and 25th also deal with this skeeter- you can find them at poet's train, circadian addiction


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AMETHYST
post Jun 11 08, 17:05
Post #49


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Hi Ron,

I enjoyed reading this and find the challenge captivating. Hope I can muster some idea's to spark my muse to do it along with. What found most interesting is that the form, allowed you to write so much different than your marked style and meter.



Best Wishes, Liz

PS, I noticed your PS - You are always welcome to share them at MM as well.


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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 11 08, 18:10
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Hi Ron,

What a fun Rondeau to read! Got a good chuckle over it! rofl.gif It's certainly an impressive challenge of JD's to write a poem a day, I can't even write one a month, LOL.gif!

Your pointer to Poem Train might not be read though since one must join the site to read the threads over there, FYI.

Cheers
~Cleo


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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JustDaniel
post Sep 6 09, 15:49
Post #51


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Pure Words

To hear pure words of honest praise
can set a poet's heart ablaze
with confidence to write still more...
though all the world may yet ignore
or tell him that he must rephrase

what's viewed as ancient rhymed malaise:
Stop driving worn-out Chevrolets.
Rev these Mercedes; go full bore
to hear pure words.


When I return from cabernets
to lager beer, that newness grays;
I feel like I'd been with a whore...
turn back to write what I adore
and hope that someone's heart still prays
to hear pure words.

© MLee Dickens'son 28 Aug 2009

a riposte to Ron Jones' rondeau, Teaching Verse



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JustDaniel
post May 9 13, 20:00
Post #52


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I'm just BUMPING bump.gif this thread, so folks can see what a RONDEAU is, since Merlin has introduced us to what we will call a 'Short Rondeau', and several of us have been playing with it.

deLightingly, Daniel sun.gif


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JustDaniel
post May 11 13, 16:18
Post #53


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Corrected... Thanks, Larry!


No Ancient Rhyme

An ancient rhyme, for bards as I
melts into sky, so broad and high;
it stretches out ability
to grasp its meaning in a sea
of grand confusion ‘til I sigh…

Ah, why is it that I can’t fly
on wings of eagles? I hear my
sad flapping wings that can't foresee
an ancient rhyme.

E’en ducks will quack a swift Goodbye!
and leave me paddlin’ all awry
in puddled tears that mirror me
a feather-brained monstrosity
whose quills could ne’er attempt to ply
an ancient rhyme.

© MLee Dickens'son


Original S2L3: sad flapping wings that would belie


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Larry
post May 12 13, 14:49
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Hi Daniel,

I'm not great at writing "Rondeaux", having only written a few, but I noticed one tiny nit (is it okay to crit?). In L8, the end rhyme should be the same as L's 3 & 4. I'm sure you know this and it's a mere oversight. Suggest: "failed to be" in place of "would belie". TOT

I'm glad you brought this up to "present time" posts because of the great interest that seems to have blossomed with the "short rondeau". I'll have to write something or drop something old so that it will continue to stay current.

Larry


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
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Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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JustDaniel
post May 12 13, 15:31
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Thanks for the correction, Larry. I've just posted a modification.

You might want to revisit your own 'short rondeaux' here in Karnak, as I have, since Eric made a correction in my incorrectly-observed description. Note that in the short version, L6 is to rhyme with the final fragment ( rentrement ). We'd both overlooked that.

deLighting in your careful observations, Daniel sun.gif


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Larry
post May 26 13, 22:48
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A Slip of Faith

A way to cope that used to be,
collapsed into insanity
where convoluted lies abound
and truth, as such, is spun around
until its authenticity

is altered. The validity
of what is said confuses me
to the extent that I have found
a way to cope

in stolid equanimity.
I doubt that I shall ever be
so crass as to believe. Profound
enunciations may astound
but I’ll nod understandably
away, to cope.


Larry

Thanks Daniel!


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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JustDaniel
post Nov 27 13, 11:21
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Hmmm... Good thoughts, Larry, but I think you forgot about the repletion of your FIRST WORDS in the opening line ??


First Words

First words must be repeated oft...
and even if at first they're scoffed
by progeny whom you would teach.
It oft takes time if you would reach
inside young hearts, to point aloft.

Imbue with truth piecemeal and broad;
the youthful mind is often flawed
and needs a nudge to open doors
with growing insight; it explores
first words.

Do not give up, and watch yourself
lest you be placed upon the shelf
for foolishness in your own life.
Grow deft to listen; stir less strife
reflecting back upon themselves
first words.


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Larry
post Nov 28 13, 09:41
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Hi Daniel,

Happy Thanksgiving and thanks for giving me a heads-up; I did forget because of my parts-hymers. I'll fix that as soon as I post this to you.

Larry


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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Larry
post Nov 29 13, 09:39
Post #59


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Mind-sight

Reflecting back upon the past
and all the things I felt would last
have dissipated in that time.
I live within a different clime
where normalcy leaves me aghast.

A world in which the insane rule
and life or death is just a tool
while truth is torn from trust. My eyes
reflecting back

upon the promise future held
did not reveal what life entailed
nor how morality might change.
No prayer or wish can rearrange
the past I knew. Those days are veiled…
reflecting back.


·······IPB·······

When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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Cleo_Serapis
post Dec 1 13, 14:57
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Wow Larry - an important, potent poem above. Thanks for penning it.


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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