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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren's Synapse _ Misery
Posted by: Arnfinn Aug 13 14, 07:18
Misery
Here I stand,
bereft of energy.
Weary body bathed in pale light,
scarred fingers, clawing, undergrowth,
hooked thorns suckle strained sinews—
open old wounds— drain forsaken history.
A pause,
Weapon— raised.
Below the hilt— the blunt blade of conflict;
in front—old growth, nefarious impediments.
Swift blows repelled by the girth of time;
past sins find no absolution in post regret.
Each sword stroke—
No echo….
The tide of destiny reveals a stark burial,
broken bones— a skeleton interred in shame.
My conscious crusade, atonement, a failure
‘Enough—I must return to the sunlight.’
John Macleod
Posted by: Psyche Aug 14 14, 23:28
Hi John,
I've read this poem several times, but will return to comment because I'm a bit dim right now.
Nonetheless, I sense profound meanings below the surface and hope to grasp them next time around.
Love your choice of words, alliterations and deft handling of the subject.
Of course, I may need some help in interpretation, if you're willing to add a few words.
The last stanza is great. I think I know your meaning but don't want to make a fool of myself...LOL. The finale is perfect.
Cheers, Syl***
Here I stand,
bereft of energy.
Weary body bathed in pale light,
scarred fingers, clawing, undergrowth,
hooked thorns suckle strained sinews—
open old wounds— drain forsaken history.
A pause,
Weapon— raised.
Below the hilt— the blunt blade of conflict;
in front—old growth, nefarious impediments.
Swift blows repelled by the girth of time;
past sins find no absolution in post regret.
Each sword stroke—
No echo….
The tide of destiny reveals a stark burial,
broken bones— a skeleton interred in shame.
My conscious crusade, atonement, a failure
‘Enough—I must return to the sunlight.’
John Macleod
Posted by: Arnfinn Aug 18 14, 04:56
G'day Sylv;
Past sins have no atonement.
Neither a belief in God or soothing words can eradicate history.
If we are not forgiven the revenge of our victims will last forever.
Our mind is in torment from undisclosed secrets, no matter how much we fight to right a wrong, each though opens wounds of truth with no redemption.
Our aim is not contrition--but a fear of discovery.
Time to change, put the past behind us, an with a show of strength reach the sunlight, with the intention working with and helping others.
Regards,
John
Posted by: Eisa Aug 26 14, 14:00
A very profound well written poem John. I feel I need another read to grasp it all.
It's great to see you posting again.
Snow 
Posted by: Psyche Oct 23 14, 17:16
Wow, Arnie! Strong words, these. I would not have gathered all this meaning from your poem, even tho' I like it a lot. 
I agree here. Helping others, which I understand you do, is the best way to put our own past behind us. Especially is we help people we'd never known before...the old, the handicapped, the sick.
Within reason, of course. Having fun is of the essence! At present I still have a mentally sick hubby to care for. Enough! 
But personally I don't "live in past memories", nor do I regret anything of importance. Life has rushed ahead so fast for me that I've had little time to wonder about some nasty things people may have done or said. Or the errors I've committed... 
I've spent much of my life caring for seriously ill family members. When you're a carer, you meet plenty of people giving advice or criticising the way you do things...or didn't do things. At the moment it's irritating, but you soon leave that sort of stuff behind you. I did my best, learning along the way with the sick person. Listening...
Mothers and wives are not born to be nurses, unless they chose it as a career.
So, my mind is not a torment...LOL...Feeling sad sometimes is inevitable and normal. 
Thanks for your explanation, John!!
Cheers, Syl*** 
Past sins have no atonement.
Neither a belief in God or soothing words can eradicate history.
If we are not forgiven the revenge of our victims will last forever.
Our mind is in torment from undisclosed secrets, no matter how much we fight to right a wrong, each though opens wounds of truth with no redemption.
Our aim is not contrition--but a fear of discovery.
Time to change, put the past behind us, an with a show of strength reach the sunlight, with the intention working with and helping others.
Regards,
John
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