 sonnet bref, [ my designation ] in less than iambic tetrameter |
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 Aug 24 14, 23:17
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#21
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 Creative Chieftain  Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in.  |
Still Living
He was peace but the wars didn’t cease and it’s scars they applied on his hands and his side met demands prophesied; so that cross where He died was no loss for He’s here, always near. ·······  ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner       |
  
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Aug 25 14, 10:34
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#22
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 Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,552 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
BRAVO !
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner      |
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Aug 26 14, 15:01
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#23
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Thank You, Daniel!
Your "funeral rehearsal" was the inspiration. Larry ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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Jan 20 15, 00:09
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#24
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Alone With My Thoughts
They've all gone, I'm afraid, like the dawn when stars fade from the sky and the sun with its sigh leaves but one who will post in these halls while each ghost footstep falls. I shall muse! You peruse. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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Feb 10 15, 23:54
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#25
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Keep Trying
Valentines is a day when man dines on dismay wondering what to buy. Some more bling? Though they try every year to surprise someone dear to their eyes they will fail to excel. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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Feb 11 15, 06:47
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#26
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 Laureate Legionnaire Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends |
Larry, never done one of these, so this is very off the cuff, and does not rhyme. Pleased consider it to be addressed as a crit piece - where did I (not !) go wrong ?
chocolates are no go - the lady is no tramp O-line now high fashion or is that pregnancy ? no, middle-age spread, like peanut butter then add jamb to succumb for strict passage - it's no go thin your waste or widen doors Alan ······· ······· |
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Feb 15 15, 16:34
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#27
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Hi Alan,
The only thing I can advise is go back to the beginning of this string and read what Daniel wrote down as the rules for this new form of "sonnet?". Still not sure if the rhyme scheme is ABAB or AABB or some other combination. Larry p.s. It was great for your first try. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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Feb 27 15, 13:11
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#28
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,552 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
EXCUSED ABSENCE
My screen was broke; son tried to help. His E-Bay bloke was just a whelp. The one he sent would not install; now he is bent and filled with gall. Will not repay without a split; we're in a fray, and I could spit. Laptop is new; rejoined the few! ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Mar 2 15, 00:04
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#29
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Not Enough Words
Few rejoined in the fray of forms coined. Their dismay stopped them short ‘ere they tried a retort. They all cried “It’s too hard”, “I’m confused”; so their bard was bemused and then quit in a snit! ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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Jun 29 15, 09:47
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#30
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Grin and Pare It
A snit or two no crit will do for those who tried. They chose, implied that this short form's a miss but charms a smile with style. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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Aug 5 15, 23:10
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#31
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,552 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Free Will
Will style bemuse awhile our muse we still will write though quill be trite. The thing's to try what brings our eye to see what's free. ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Aug 6 15, 14:28
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#32
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Eulogy
Free what’s in minds and thoughts; all kinds of verse we share. No worse for wear, our good advice now would be nice if read when dead. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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Aug 8 15, 01:37
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#33
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,552 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
dead aim
dead when our works are read?' no perks for now though we show how with glee to pen right back e'en when friends slack who cares; that's theirs! ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Aug 9 15, 13:46
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#34
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
awakening
That they’re not here to share is fear, perhaps they feel a lapse will heal their muse. They can’t refuse, recant; their gift will lift. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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Aug 9 15, 15:43
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#35
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,552 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Night Visitor
Always sneer when he's near; never smile, e'en awhile. He will eat all that's sweet; he'll devour all your flour. He will drink from your sink; he will spit where you sit. He will share your nightmare. ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Aug 10 15, 09:58
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#36
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
pest aside
If a roach in the dark did encroach I’d embark on a plan to negate with a can which is great for the fumes which it sprays fills the rooms and it stays to effect that insect. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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Aug 10 15, 19:05
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#37
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,552 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
More Ohs, Morose?
Arthritis racks my fingers, neuropathy my feet; from work the pain still lingers though I'm here on my seat. My shoulders' ache's persistent; my eyes are blurred and tired; my urge to go's insistent; I need to be rewired. My knees and shins both make me limp; my muscles lose their tone; although I'm looking less the blimp my toothache makes me moan. "Would I be better off if dead?" keeps running through my head. ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Aug 11 15, 07:48
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#38
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Know pain – no gain!
The metric variables have got me so confused and caused me lots of troubles because I’ve never used a scheme where each line varies; goes up then takes a dive. I guess the rules that carries, “each one is less than five iambic feet” but it feels strange. I count each word with care and add, subtract or rearrange with nothing left to spare. My brain is all that hurts right now; I finished it somehow. ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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Aug 11 15, 18:06
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#39
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 18,552 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
Please note opening definition:
any 14-line piece with any standard or variant sonnet rhyme scheme... but - abbreviated in any recognizable meter - shorter than iambic tetrameter. ······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
MM Award Winner |
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Aug 11 15, 18:31
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#40
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,363 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Hi Daniel,
The last of the instructions is what had me confused. It is the "shorter than iambic tetrameter" which got me. Your lines 9, 11 and 13 are all in tetrameter. Line 13 isn't very iambic but the other two are. Thus, the confusion. Larry ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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