Dancing in the Rain, Shakey sonnet Options

[Merlin]

Preamble: Critique is gratefully declined, thx, but feel free to comment. If confused, pls see HERE.

Once there was a trio - Fran, Sue, & I who drew from each other and wrote some interesting verse, good enough to be published in a non-too-shabby anthology by Dr McAllister. Will this stir anything? M


Dancing in the Rain

It was a time for dancing in the rain,
a time to leave the nest and fly alone;
a time for cheese ‘n crackers with champagne;
a time to move my dial off monotone.
It was a time when Cupid’s arrow hit
the pair of us – we didn’t stand a chance.
Impossible another one could fit
as perfectly as us. What a romance!

A wandering star out in the universe
kept beckoning; I couldn’t fight its call.
Farewells are never easy, but my curse
is nomad blood. We parted late one fall.

As time has hastened down its steep abyss,
those golden years are what I mostly miss.

[jgdittier]

Hi Eric,
It's great to have you as a poetry resource back again.
Being a formalist with great respect for our heritage, I see you have written your posting with strict concern for all the aspects of poetry I most admire.
I hope your return to the net may motivate my ex-muses to return and if they do, so will I.
You set a standard I'd like to follow.
Thanks

[jerryk]

Okay, Merlin; no crit!
I would say that I like to see a sonnet in block form (without those line spaces). Yeah, that Cupid can't hit a barn door with his arrows. (I can do better with my compound bow, lol). It's a good write with a somewhat sad ending; still it's well worth reminiscing over. It helps one to avoid becoming a target of that little guy with the defective bow--again. I enjoyed reading this sonnet. All makes sense.
Jerry

Preamble: Critique is gratefully declined, thx, but feel free to comment. If confused, pls see HERE.

Once there was a trio - Fran, Sue, & I who drew from each other and wrote some interesting verse, good enough to be published in a non-too-shabby anthology by Dr McAllister. Will this stir anything? M


Dancing in the Rain

It was a time for dancing in the rain,
a time to leave the nest and fly alone;
a time for cheese ‘n crackers with champagne;
a time to move my dial off monotone.
It was a time when Cupid’s arrow hit
the pair of us – we didn’t stand a chance.
Impossible another one could fit
as perfectly as us. What a romance!

A wandering star out in the universe
kept beckoning; I couldn’t fight its call.
Farewells are never easy, but my curse
is nomad blood. We parted late one fall.

As time has hastened down its steep abyss,
those golden years are what I mostly miss.

[MFK Buckley]

Congrats and thank you Merlin! It appears you have amused the Muse by twos! It's lovely to see jgdittier has stirred as well.
A warm hello to you too Ron! Frances

[jgdittier]

Dear Eric,
I guess I'm too old to break the "Dear" habit, but I really mean it.
Perhaps it's never too late to go back to that fall and set things right. Best luck!
Even if too late, prize it for what it was!!!
Cheers, Ron
ps- if you write like this, AND she reads, you've no worries.

[Merlin]

Many thanks Ron, Jerry, Fran, & Ron again.

Ron, it's about time I get the mooses hitched up again, now that the snow has left - except for sporadic dumps. I spent the morning writing, and enjoying that. Sofar I've dug into the "oldies" pile, actually I liked re-reading many of those.

Jerry, when I do the formal style verse, I like to bend the boundaries; thus my preference leans to more white space than not. It's good to have different tastes. Cupid isn't so fast on the draw as once, a thing I appreciate!

Fran, nice to see a return volley - gosh, I hadn't thought of the same-rhyme ones for a long time. We dun a bunch. Yes, I'm happy and hopeful that our Dittier comrade has returned also.

Ron, once was quite enuff for this critter, thx. No rebound necessary.

Good of you all to read & comment - much appreciated.

Merlin

[MFK Buckley]

Yes Merlin, we dun good (and plenty) then and perhaps tis time again to take a turn or two. F