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> Senryu, Japanese form: 5-7-5 or less
JustDaniel
post Oct 12 04, 04:41
Post #1


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Posts: 18,560
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Senryu is a short form of poetry identical in construction to haiku: (three lines with 17 or fewer syllables with a cut after the first or second line forming two related snapshots of an experience of reality), but is generally about human foibles, while haiku references nature. Senryu need not include a kigo, or season word, like haiku (though it seems that much of modern English haiku tends toward senryu; that is, unlike traditional Japanese haiku, it may not necessarily adhere to the 5-7-5 syllable form which may be suitable in Japanese, but which tends to produce long or stilted language in English). A simple rule seems to be, Take a deep breath and read all three lines... cut and all.

I'll offer a couple of examples of my own, however inadequate. Perhaps someone with greater stature would like to add greater insight to this thread.

How I love thee
with breadth, length, depth and height…
but who counts the days?


© MLee Dickens'son 11 Oct 2004


feeling seventeen
your heart pounds out senryu;
you just can’t beat it


© MLee Dickens'son 14 Feb 2004

By the way, I understand that they're often with a bit of humor, so I don't think I'm desecrating the form if I wink a bit.

sharin' a bit o' de Light, Daniel  sun.gif


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Posts in this topic
- JustDaniel   Senryu   Oct 12 04, 04:41
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel,     Thank you for kicking this off an...   Oct 12 04, 16:22
- - JustDaniel   Ah, I love your piece, Grace.  Footprints ind...   Oct 12 04, 16:42
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, I thought you were paraphrasing Ch...   Oct 12 04, 16:58
- - JustDaniel   No wonder I was confused, Grace.  You have quoted ...   Oct 12 04, 21:10
- - Cybele   Thank you Daniel,   Have been to Cleo's tile...   Oct 13 04, 16:49
- - JustDaniel   Should we put ours together in a Mondo in Cleo...   Oct 14 04, 12:29
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel, Well I have read up on Mondo/Katauta...   Oct 14 04, 16:33
- - JustDaniel   QUOTE wearing white tutus are the gray thistles da...   Oct 15 04, 08:24
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel, QUOTE some reason o’er rhyme; there...   Oct 15 04, 11:19
- - JustDaniel   what a pregnant piece!  I could mean MANY...   Oct 15 04, 11:33
- - Cybele   Aah! Daniel,   QUOTE what a pregnant piece...   Oct 15 04, 15:57
- - JustDaniel   I hope my response wasn't too insensitive, my ...   Oct 15 04, 16:56
- - Cybele   Good Morning Daniel, Oh! No, I wasn't at...   Oct 16 04, 02:02
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel, QUOTE when he's serious no one se...   Oct 16 04, 02:05
- - JustDaniel   I'm pleased that I had not offended, Grace... ...   Oct 16 04, 02:43
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel,   I seem to be pre-occupied with dogs...   Oct 18 04, 04:07
- - JustDaniel   touching piece, Grace! Would you bite me if I...   Oct 18 04, 05:37
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel,   QUOTE touching piece, Grace...   Oct 18 04, 06:25
- - JustDaniel   I've now booked my trip to my woodshed discipl...   Oct 18 04, 08:02
- - Cybele   My pleasure Daniel, I had four sons and know the...   Oct 19 04, 04:04
- - JustDaniel   delightful image here, Grace... Note, however tha...   Oct 19 04, 05:03
- - Cybele   Good to see you up and about Daniel, I have bee...   Oct 19 04, 05:35
- - JustDaniel   de tension... when your behind must stay put for a...   Oct 19 04, 05:45
- - Cybele   QUOTE de tension... when your behind must stay put...   Oct 21 04, 03:49
- - JustDaniel   Thanks, Grace... you know I couldn't resist th...   Oct 21 04, 07:42
- - Cybele   Okay my fiend, (no, not a typo! )   moonsh...   Oct 22 04, 05:09
- - JustDaniel   umm... uhhhh...  I bet you weren't expecting t...   Oct 22 04, 06:28
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel  :sun: QUOTE frigid mourn in Nam;...   Oct 22 04, 06:52
- - Eisa   Hi daniel and Cybele I have just noticed this sen...   Oct 22 04, 07:24
- - Cybele   Yipee,    :dance:  Snow's come...   Oct 22 04, 11:19
- - JustDaniel   wounds may disappear with tender love’s oversight;...   Oct 24 04, 22:23
- - Cybele   [b]Good morning Daniel, QUOTE wounds may disapp...   Oct 25 04, 00:16
- - JustDaniel   Thank you, my friend!   QUOTE blind beggar;...   Oct 25 04, 02:18
- - Cybele   Sorry Daniel,   I woke at 4.30am and couldn...   Oct 25 04, 03:39
- - JustDaniel   I KNEW there must have been something amiss, Grace...   Oct 25 04, 06:31
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, dazed by trazodone, grey cheeks...   Oct 25 04, 07:40
- - JustDaniel   Thank you so much, Grace.  Yes, it was the very mo...   Oct 25 04, 08:14
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, QUOTE donning Army greys he stares...   Oct 26 04, 12:40
- - JustDaniel   <font color='#000000'>Thank you for ...   Oct 26 04, 14:26
- - Eisa   Hey Daniel and Grace You are both very good at ...   Oct 26 04, 17:29
- - JustDaniel   Hey, Snow!  Great to have you drop in to learn...   Oct 26 04, 22:35
- - Cybele   Good morning Daniel, QUOTE alcoholic home; d...   Oct 27 04, 00:47
- - Cybele   Why! good morning Eisa,       How lovely to ...   Oct 27 04, 00:59
- - JustDaniel   QUOTE our favourite walk; long autumn shadows but ...   Oct 27 04, 05:21
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, QUOTE Now that is a fascinating on...   Oct 27 04, 08:15
- - JustDaniel   I know, Grace.  Just practicin' with my e...   Oct 27 04, 08:43
- - Cybele   Ha Ha Daniel,   QUOTE ... and did you not see th...   Oct 27 04, 09:20
- - Cybele   Here you are Daniel, Have fun! first frost...   Oct 27 04, 09:29
- - JustDaniel   QUOTE nuns after mass; clustered together, heads b...   Oct 27 04, 11:12
- - Eisa   Hello there Daniel nd Grace Your verses have me f...   Oct 27 04, 18:58
- - JustDaniel   So good to see you thinkin' and feelin' in...   Oct 28 04, 01:55
- - Cybele   Good Morning Eisa,   QUOTE my favourite walk: ...   Oct 28 04, 02:37
- - JustDaniel   Hey, y'all... This is poor, but my mind is dr...   Oct 28 04, 03:29
- - Cybele   Hi Sleepy head   QUOTE clear Caribbean on sea b...   Oct 28 04, 03:43
- - JustDaniel   did Jamaica cake to send off your holiday? belles ...   Oct 28 04, 07:35
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel, Not off till 14th December!. This ...   Oct 29 04, 03:37
- - JustDaniel   QUOTE new neighbour superglued to a power tool buy...   Oct 29 04, 05:31
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel, on house and garage implant surrou...   Oct 29 04, 09:04
- - JustDaniel   Raceway tapes would be sounds from a race track: ...   Oct 29 04, 14:49
- - Cybele   Thanks for the explanation Daniel. Happily this ...   Oct 31 04, 02:44
- - JustDaniel   ah, Grace...  now you're shaming me with ...   Oct 31 04, 05:19
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, Hope you are feeling a little bri...   Oct 31 04, 07:14
- - JustDaniel   hmmm Not sure that I fully understand this one, G...   Nov 2 04, 11:00
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, Ralph and I spent many wonderful ho...   Nov 2 04, 17:16
- - JustDaniel   Sounds like you had a wonderful time, Grace! Y...   Nov 3 04, 08:59
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, Thank you for the info on Jackie Gl...   Nov 3 04, 17:36
- - JustDaniel   Hmmm   Maybe there's a message there? ...   Nov 5 04, 15:55
- - Cybele   Good morning Daniel, QUOTE brown stuff comin...   Nov 17 04, 03:50
- - JustDaniel   Hey, Grace... I hope you'll forgive me for th...   Nov 27 04, 11:31
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel, QUOTE some’re journeying… yet leave gr...   Nov 27 04, 17:28
- - JustDaniel   <font color='#000000'>:cheer: Thanks...   Nov 27 04, 22:24
- - Cybele   Good morning Daniel, unplanned daughter dear wi...   Nov 28 04, 03:32
- - JustDaniel   QUOTE (Cybele @ Nov. 28 2004, 03:32)I too was...   Dec 1 04, 09:56
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, QUOTE I've read this sev...   Dec 2 04, 05:06
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel, Here is the one you thought you had ...   Dec 2 04, 05:13
- - JustDaniel   Well, I do think you wrote something like it somew...   Dec 3 04, 07:32
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel, Well, I don't know about you but I...   Dec 3 04, 07:43
- - Cybele   my son shines his shoes               on the back...   Dec 3 04, 07:56
- - JustDaniel   QUOTE (Cybele @ Dec. 03 2004, 07:56)my son sh...   Dec 3 04, 08:11
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel, Still can't read that pale blue. C...   Dec 3 04, 08:18
- - JustDaniel   QUOTE (Cybele @ Dec. 03 2004, 08:18)the mo[u]...   Dec 3 04, 09:06
- - JustDaniel   wherever my face... appears I'm dammed if I d...   Dec 7 04, 18:08
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, Yes, I was tempted to put that ...   Dec 8 04, 02:30
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, This is a revision. I originally po...   Dec 8 04, 02:38
- - JustDaniel   Greetings, dragonfly! It's always refre...   Dec 8 04, 11:52
- - Cybele   Hello Daniel, Goodness me! You musn't l...   Dec 8 04, 12:16
- - JustDaniel   learning's always fun till someone pops your b...   Dec 8 04, 12:28
- - Cybele   bubbles rise above hot air spouted by fools; smile...   Dec 8 04, 16:52
- - JustDaniel   Thanks, Grace... and it doesn't need to be a ...   Dec 9 04, 03:07
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel, QUOTE men and rivers wind through ...   Dec 9 04, 04:29
- - JustDaniel   QUOTE (Cybele @ Dec. 09 2004, 04:29)Mornin...   Dec 9 04, 04:41
- - Cybele   Hi Daniel. yellow kite's long tail waving...   Dec 9 04, 05:00
- - JustDaniel   I hope you'll forgive me for this one, Grace. ...   Dec 9 04, 14:56
- - Toumai   Hello, I'm following Cleo's suggestion for...   Jan 6 05, 11:34
- - Jox   Hi Fran What a lovely burnt offering this is. A c...   Jan 6 05, 13:00
- - Toumai   Hi James, Thank you for such kind encouragement. ...   Jan 6 05, 14:12
- - Cybele   Good morning Fran, Just back from my holiday and ...   Jan 7 05, 04:29
- - Cybele   fairy woodland: hoar-frosted cobweb, Titania’s lac...   Jan 7 05, 04:31
- - Toumai   Welcome back from your holiday, Grace.   Thank y...   Jan 7 05, 04:46
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