Angry

He was such an angry young man,
his mother was a drug addict and a hooker,
his father was an alcoholic and a bum.
He was passed from Uncle to Aunt to Cousins
with not much love lost upon the way.
No wonder his priorities were all mixed up.
Finally he was drafted to fight in the war that was not a war,
he was trained to kill in any manner he could,
he learned well, very well.
Discharged out into a frustrating world of no jobs,
no skills, and having been told ‘no’ for the umpteenth time;
he pulled a grenade and blew him and the unemployment agency apart.
He was such an angry young man.

Sept 14, 2012
© Steve Pray

Oh wow Steve! - this is very thought provoking and the ending really hit hard!

Did this really happen or is it just imagination?
The scenario of a poor upbringing and no job prospect is a common one and the ending the result of sheer frustration and lack of hope.

Always great to see you writing, Steve. Hope you are well.
Hugs
Eira

Dear Steve,

As Eisa sez, very evocative, tho I wonder if you meant this :

he was trained to kill in any manor he could,

In England you could indeed use it that way, the "Manor" is your tribal territory, your "hood". But I think you mean Manner ?

Love
Alan

Hi Steve,

Long time, no see.

This one needs much revision. Too many capitalization and punctuation mistakes in my opinion.

Angry

He was such an angry young man, (Period instead of comma)
his mother was a drug addict and a hooker, (Capitalize "his" and end line with period)
his father was an alcoholic and a bum. (Capitalize "his".)
He was passed from Uncle to Aunt to Cousins ( No capitals for "uncle," "aunt", and "cousin".)
with not much love lost upon the way.
No wonder his priorities were all mixed up.
Finally he was drafted to fight in the war that was not a war,(Period at end of line)
he was trained to kill in any manor he could,(Capitalize "he." (Period at end of line)
he learned well, very well. (Capitalize "he.")
Discharged out into a frustrating world of no jobs,
no skills, and having been told ‘no’ for the umpteenth time;
he pulled a grenade and blew him and the unemployment agency apart. (You should say "himself" instead of "him".)
He was such an angry young man.



He does sound angry. This has a lot of potential.


Peggy Carpenter Harwood

Hi Steve!

This is indeed happening a great deal in many countries, more so where guns are allowed. Meaning the U.S., especially.

This angry young man used a grenade.

In my own country youngsters can buy guns and army equipment easily, and there have been quite a few shootings in schools or crowded places, even cinemas.

I agree with Maggie that you need to polish this powerful piece. But you haven't put any **** , so I won't crit unless you confirm.

Congrats, Steve, this is a very modern issue.
Syl***

.Thanks all for the comments, puncuation has alkways been a sore spot for me. I haven't been on in a long time. My computer is on the blitz and I am using wifes laptop. I have finally reached the point where I can no longer get out of bed. Theslippery slope and slidind down in to the depths, following Jims path into another realm of possiblities. I have made arrangements to have everyone notified when I pass.

take care
Steve

Dear Steve,

Got it ! It has been huge fun interacting with you, and (I mean this) I wish you all the best in your alternative future, whenever that comes about !

Love
Alan

Hi Steve,

Unfortunate to be bedridden, so sorry...

Still, you wrote this great poem not long ago, so perhaps there's life in the old boy still?

Don't worry 'bout punctuation, just enjoy sharing your thoughts with us. Maybe in some alternate worlds people communicate in another way. Imagine seeing poetry floating in the air! Perhaps one's imagination becomes like airborn bright visions. Geez, this computer seems clumsy and old just thinking about it!

Hang on there, dear OhSteve, our MM family is still around in spite of stiff competition from silly Facebook and Twitter. We love you...

Love and hugs,
Syl***

Hi Steve

Sorry to hear you're bed-bound, but hang in there - it'll soon be Xmas.

It's always good to read your work and if you feel inspiration coming on, please share it with us. I love Syl's idea of imagination being airbourne, wouldn't that be so much easier - fantastic!

Thinking of you more than you will ever know
Big hugs
Snow

Thank you friends. it isn't the getting up so much as the getting back to bed with out huffing and puffing so hard I almost pass out. I hope to make it down stairs for Christmas morning, then wait until later to go back up.Iwant you allto know that my time here on MM has been some of the best I havehad, you all have made me feel part of an extended family. I surely wish that I could meet you all in person to say thanks for being and bearing with me. I still have
steve

Hi Steve,

I'm sorry you're so sick!!! Hope your Christmas brightens you up!!! Being sick on Christmas in a bummer!!!

I'd love to meet all the members on MM too, but at least we did meet through technology. That's amazing to me!!!!

Hang in there buddy. A positive attitude uplifts the soul, doesn't it?

Fondly,

Peggy Carpenter Harwoood

Hi to everyone, thanks to medication I had the most wonderful Christmas. The Doc put me on a drug called Amblify, it is an anti depression add on, and so far it has been great, I have been up doing more, so of course this makes me breathe harder yet stimulates my lungs some what so I don't feel as out of breath, it is a climbing cycle instead of a down cycle. I still spend a lot of time in bed, but thats ok I recieved 30 dvd/blu-ray for gifts...LOL. I got my computer back up and running with a little help from my son in laws. Moved my desk around so that the room looks more open now. See you all next year...
lots of love
Steve

Hi Steve,
What wonderful news!!! Thank you for sharing it!!! So glad to hear that you're doing better!!!!!!!

Wow!!! I'd love to watch some new dvds. I collect British mysteries myself. This is the first time I didn't ask for any for Christmas in quite a while. Are you going to follow the new season of Dowton Abbey? I can hardly wait!!!

Glad you had a good Christmas and I hope you have a Happy New year too!!!!!

Peggy Harwood (aka Maggie)

Peggy, would you prefer Maggie? Doing better is point on a sliding scale....lol. On a scale of one to ten one being best and ten being worst. If I was a ten, then went down to a nine, I am doing better technically. If I was a two and went to a three then I am doing worse. I personally do not like their scale. Because if I am a 1 and feel better am I then cured? or if I am a ten and feel worse am I then dead?

Where do you live on east coast? If you get over Dayton way feel free to drop in, I have English tea, German cookies. Dutch chocolates, and ME!!!! lol

Steve

Hi again, Steve,

I used to travel a lot, but my health isn't good enough for the rigors any more. I live in Virginia Beach and Dayton is far away, but thank you for the gracious invitation to tea despite the fact that I must decline.

All I know is you sound better and that makes my heart glad!

Have a "better" New Year, my friend!!!

Peggy( I prefer if, but use Maggie to be anonymous!)

Hi Steve,

I'm so glad to see you up and about. It's wonderful what new "meds" can do. As to the parameters of feeling good or bad, you were sounding like a 8 or 9 on your scale and now you are more like a 2 or 3. Hope you get to number "1" real soon.

Larry

Hi there Steve!

I'm so glad to hear you are doing a lot better and had a great Xmas! and sailed into 2013.

Hoping you have a happy New Year.

Hugs
Snow