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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms _ Limerick Junction (Revision 5)

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Jun 19 09, 22:43


Limerick Junction (Revision 5 )

We're going to Limerick Junction
where poetry lost all compunction.
Such poems are crude
with language that's lewd.
Obscenity is their main function.

Peggy Carpenter Harwood

Limerick Junction (Revision 4)

We're going to Limerick Junction
where poetry lost all compunction.
Such poems are crude
with language that's lewd.
Obscene humor is their function.


Limerick Junction (Revision 3)

We're going to Limerick Junction
where poetry lost all compunction.
Such poems are crude
with language that's lewd.
Scandalous humor is their function.


Limerick Junction (Revision2)

We're going to Limerick Junction
where poetry lost all compunction.
Such poems are crude
with language that's lewd.
Sexual humor is their function.



Limerick Junction (Revision1)

We're going to Limerick Junction
where poetry lost all compunction.
Such poems are crude
with language that's lewd.
Bawdy humor is their function.

Peggy Carpenter Harwood

Limerick Junction

We're going to Limerick Junction
where poetry lost all compunction.
Such poems are crude
with much language lewd.
Bawdy humor is their function.

Peggy Carpenter Harwood

Posted by: Marc-Andre Germain Jun 20 09, 03:56

QUOTE (Peggy Carpenter Harwood @ Jun 20 09, 10:43 ) *
Limerick Junction

Accentual verse scan:

We're going to Limerick Junction
where poetry lost all compunction.
Such poems are crude
with much language lewd.
>>Hard to promote "much" and leave the first syllable of "language" unstressed.
Bawdy humor is their function.

Accentual-syllabic scan:

We're go/ing to Li/merick Junc/tion
where po/etry lost/ all compunc/tion.
>>An alternate scan would be "e - try / LOST - ALL/", now as a minor ionic or double iamb.
Such po/ems are crude/
with much lang/uage lewd./
>>An iambic substitution in the first foot of a line in a limerick is acceptable, less so in the last foot.
Bawdy/ humor is/ their func/tion.
>>I could easily scan the first syllable of "bawdy" as unstressed; where the meter of this line breaks down is the succession of three weak sounds "-mor is their"

I we stress "is", this line becomes a perfect trochaic tetrameter, which I don't find fitting for a limerick:
Bawdy/ humor/ is their/ function./

Besides the meter, the rhymes are solid and the contents appropriate.

I hope this helps.

Mark



Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Jun 21 09, 22:02

Hi Marc,

Thank you very much for pointing out my varying rhythms. I've never been good on rhythm, but do occasionally attempt to write some ballad rhythm in some poems or syllable counting in others such as limericks. I indeed wrote this poem to celebrate a trip I am taking in August: I'm going to Ireland and while there am going both to Limerick and to Limerick Junction. This poem was an attempt in correct and accurate rhyme and word choice mostly. My major question so far is "Does the word 'function' convey the correct meaning? In other words, is it used correctly in the context of the line?"

Thank you for reading and trying to help!! Much appreciated!

Peggy

Posted by: Marc-Andre Germain Jun 22 09, 08:29

Hi Peggy,

I think function, in the sense of "a definite purpose" works well here; changing it would require changing the other two rhyming words, and I think you sure want to keep Limerick Junction smile.gif I hope you will enjoy your time in Ireland. One of my courses at the university was the Irish Literary Revival, I read a lot of Lady Gregory and William Butler Yeats, and I much enjoyed the stories of CuChulain. I also once wrote a long paper on Ulysses by James Joyce, another favourite writer.

Mark

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Jun 22 09, 13:31

Hi Marc,

Thanks for the okay on "function." Now I'm more confident about it! It's a keeper!!

Where did you go to university? In Canada? I went to a small Lutheran college in North Carolina and then I got a masters at Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia. I'm sorry to say I've never read Joyce's "Ulysses," but Tennyson's poem also named "Ulysses" is one of my all-time favorites. Of course he isn't Irish. I got a lot of Yeats in graduate school in a twenth century British poetry seminar. I studied Heaney through a University of Virginia class on him. I also taught right much Yeats to my high school English students before I retired.

My friend and I are planning of taking an Irish pubs tour in Dublin featuring Irish greats like Joyce, Yeats, and Heaney readings. We're also taking a pub tour concentraring on Irish folk music as well. We're very excited about it!!

Nice chatting with you!!! rollerskater.gif rollerskater.gif

Peggy


Posted by: Eisa Jul 23 09, 09:07

Hi Peggy

I've been enjoying reading you rhythmic limmericks.

Here are a couple of thoughts that might help the rhythm of this one.

Limerick Junction

We're going to Limerick Junction
where poetry lost all compunction.
Such poems are crude
with [much] language that's lewd[.]
and bawdy humor's [is] their function.

Snow Snowflake.gif

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Jul 23 09, 09:42

Hi Snow,

Thanks so much for reading and making suggestions!! I sure do appreciate your feedback!! I've amended line 4 as you suggested. Much better!!

Thanks again!!

Peggy

Posted by: Arnfinn Jul 28 09, 03:04


G'day Peg


We're going to Limerick Junction
where poetry lost all compunction.
Such poems are crude
with language that's lewd.
Bawdy humor is their function.


Nice Limerick Peg,

Mark, Is very good at reading poetry and meter.

I think the last line should go. ta ta TUM-ta ta TUM-ta ta TUM.

But as Mark said: the way you've written last line, rhymes very well.

Regards,


John

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Jul 29 09, 21:58

Hi John,

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!!! I much appreciate it!!! I am in truth going to Limerick Junction and Limerick both in Ireland next month. I am dreaming of taking a picture of myself and my traveling companion in both the towns, and I want a limerick to accompany the picture. Of course this all hinges on whether the rains let up long enough to get it snapped. As for the poem, I was not as concerned about the scansion in the last line as I was about the message's accuracy. Do you think the word "function" is appropriate for the context? Marc thought so. He is great with rhythm, isn't he? Of course you are as well.

Thanks again!!!

Peggy

Posted by: Arnfinn Jul 30 09, 03:56


G'day, Peg. rose.gif

Your poem reads very well. troy.gif


Take photo of LJ. N' post it at the top of your poem.



John troy.gif

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Jul 30 09, 05:30

Hi Peggy,

What a fun limerick! I hope we never have to go to LJ! upside.gif laugh.gif

My only nit is you closing line: it seems to be missing a beat and isn't quite as smooth to the ear as the rest of the poem:

Bawdy humor is their function

It's also your choice of the word 'Bawdy' - dum dum - combined with humor. The two words are opposing each other in the metrical category here.


Perhaps this might work as an alternate:
lecherous

or maybe swap humor with tomfoolery : lewd tomfoolery is their function.

Cheers
~Cleo

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Jul 30 09, 08:49

Hi John and Cleo,

I made another revision. Does it scan any better?

Peggy

Posted by: Thoth Sep 1 09, 04:31

Hi Peggy,

All your limerick have stimulated me into writing a few as well and there are quite fun.

I still have a wee problem with L5 in this one;

“Obscene/ humor is their function“
"Humor" has a natural leading stress so messes up the flow.
For example;
“obscene/ity is /their sole function”
Would flow better and match the other lines.

Keep em rolling an giving us smiles,

Hugz, Wally

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Sep 1 09, 19:53

Hi Wally,

Thanks for the suggestion! I'm taking it under consideration. Like "obscenity" by not "sole."

Peggy

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