I tried to write this in the vernacular and speech pattern used in his day.


Tease

Wouldst thou bequeath a love so sweet
to still his summer dreams apace
or but a merry measure mete?
The merest kiss upon his face

avows that sleep will come as death,
unlike sweet thoughts, belated now.
No Autumn trysts or quickened breath
from shy nymphs of the woods; for thou

shalt make a pyre of heart and soul.
Thy heat may make the great pines groan
and beauty every voice extol
but when sweet violets are thrown

upon the bosom of the stream
they’ll disappear in each man’s dream.


S2 did read: unlike sweet thoughts, belatedly.
No Autumn trysts or quickened breath
from shy nymphs of the woods; for thee




Snippets used: a love so sweet, his summer dreams, a merry measure, sleep will come, like sweet thoughts, nymphs of the woods, great pines groan, when sweet violets, bosom of the stream

I did one too, but there's little point in posting.

Shelley Snippet

My ship lies windless, moored by chain and anchor,
a hint of music taunts and toys with me;
nymphs of the woods in unison are singing
enchanting songs, like sirens out at sea.

I know that sleep will come yet in the harbor,
but soon we sail the bosom of the stream.
As great pines groan, a west wind takes us outward;
a love so sweet fulfills my summer dreams. *

It seems a merry measure for a youngblood,
to sail like sweet thoughts to a foreign shore
and see its frozen dew and stunning icebergs,
enjoy hot times with girls in Singapore.

My golden plumes co-mingle with salt-air-wind
and flow until we hardly trim the sails;
then when sweet violets ring bells of home port
it's “Ship ahoy!” like sweet thoughts without fail.

* changed snippet 6 “his = my”



1. nymphs of the woods

2. sleep will come
3. bosom of the stream
4. great pines groan
5. a love so sweet
6. his summer dreams

7. my merry measure
8. its frozen dew

9. my golden plumes
10. until we hardly
11. when sweet violets
12. like sweet thoughts

It's always hard IMO writing in the vernacular so I think you have done very well with this.

Hi Larry,
I've been having Internet troubles as well as computer ones...aaargh! Will have to invest in a new desktop, mine is about 12 years old and begs retirement.

I absolutely love your poem and the way you've used the vernacular speech pattern so deftly.

I believe I read this one before, probably in the original forum. Hmm...memory is not so good.

Hi Merlin,
So glad you posted here! Get things moving a bit. And in a good way, because you and Larry write great sonnets.
Such a shame people post only on FB. Lori is leading MM to its doom...a shame!

Beautiful piece, Larry. You've mostly accomplished speaking in the vernacular of the time.

Please point me to where the challenge is. I've been so out of touch with them all for some time, and perhaps I'm beginning to come out of my funk.

The one wart on the beautiful face of your poem is the Pennsylvania Dutch perversion of the old English: "thee shall" should be "thou shalt/wilt", as "thee" is objective and "thou" is nominative.

I hope this doesn't make thee wilt!

Lightly, Daniel

Hi Daniel,

Thou art a beacon of light exposing my outdated grammar. I'll change it forthwith!

The challenge can be found in Acropolis' weekly challenges. Hope to read one of yours soon!

Thanks,
Larry

Hi again, Daniel.

Just scroll down the fórums until you see Acropolis. Lori hasn't been too well, so the Pandora challenge appears to have vanished.

Still, you have plenty of snippet and Word challenges to pick from. I look forward to seeing you there.

Syl