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Merlin
Posted on: Apr 22 16, 10:04


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I did one too, but there's little point in posting.

Shelley Snippet

My ship lies windless, moored by chain and anchor,
a hint of music taunts and toys with me;
nymphs of the woods in unison are singing
enchanting songs, like sirens out at sea.

I know that sleep will come yet in the harbor,
but soon we sail the bosom of the stream.
As great pines groan, a west wind takes us outward;
a love so sweet fulfills my summer dreams. *

It seems a merry measure for a youngblood,
to sail like sweet thoughts to a foreign shore
and see its frozen dew and stunning icebergs,
enjoy hot times with girls in Singapore.

My golden plumes co-mingle with salt-air-wind
and flow until we hardly trim the sails;
then when sweet violets ring bells of home port
it's “Ship ahoy!” like sweet thoughts without fail.

* changed snippet 6 “his = my”



1. nymphs of the woods

2. sleep will come
3. bosom of the stream
4. great pines groan
5. a love so sweet
6. his summer dreams

7. my merry measure
8. its frozen dew

9. my golden plumes
10. until we hardly
11. when sweet violets
12. like sweet thoughts
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #143180 · Replies: 7 · Views: 2,774

Merlin
Posted on: Apr 17 16, 21:50


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Hmmm
it may take some looking, but all saved documents in the word processor are no longer here in 10

ok, I found a few things after much searching. If you consider downloading, make sure you back up EVERYTHING you might want for future. Sofar, all my documents are lost (word processor) and as yet I haven't chased down pictures. I do believe Picasa is coming in good.

I re-installed Picasa as the other didn't seem to fire up. OHboy, did those fixit sites come in full force. Had to uninstall four or more right quick. Each found hundreds of errors and offered to fix for fee, heehee!
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #143152 · Replies: 10 · Views: 2,968

Merlin
Posted on: Apr 17 16, 20:14


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Re W10:
I was on the list for months, even did the google thing to see if I could download since nothing seemed to be happening. Every time they told me that they'd tell me when my turn came. Long forgotten, then I received a message that the time had come. Download would be 90 min, so don't shut down. Fine - I was going downtown anyway so I let it begin. Getting home, I had 11% downloaded in 4 or 5 hours - computer goes to sleep, everything stops. Not to worry, it downloaded (continue) in the background to completion while I was online in the evening, likely a few more stop-starts.

The download complete, now the installation. That took about an hour this morning. My major complaint is that the favorites are all missing, and there's no simple way to get them back. It's a common complaint as the google pages show... and to retrieve them sounds so easy - but where to begin? Just go to C:etc\username\blahblah but where do I now find C? It will take a good while looking at all the options, and some you need to right-click to go beyond.

All in all, it seems worth the effort and the learning process begins. That holds true with any changes. I recall that I was completely satisfied with W95, but then comes W98 and if you didn't update, there were no services available any longer for 95. You were forced to learn 98. We get set in our ways.

I've retrieved my favorites from memory, so it might be a good thing that ones I wasn't using anyway are flown away. Should you google for help, be aware that the top sites may well be ones that get you on the hook, and uninstalling could be next to impossible. I got the first fixit site downloaded which told me the usual you're-in-trouble-pay-me-to-come-in-and-fix... luckily I realized and dumped it. Buyer beware.

W10 looks okay, but we need to get used to it. There are many things that are made easy - most likely not for us, but for the young generation who downloads movies, music, shops, and those things. None of their apps are what I will be using.

I don't know if my diatribe helps, but I believe I'll be okay with 10 in a short while. The world is still turning.

Merlin
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #143151 · Replies: 10 · Views: 2,968

Merlin
Posted on: Apr 17 16, 14:28


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Hi Larry,
I'm a bit late getting back to this. I have been on the road for most of the week past, and over the last 2 days have been downloading Windows 10. That now creates an entirely new learning process - not really that different but things have changed, like my favorites list is MIA, as is the "search" ability... still searching for search! They say goto C: wherever, but I can't even find where to begin placing the "C". Finding control panel and my computer isn't easy either, but if you wanna go shopping - Win10 has all at hand. Great. Grrrrate!

So now - thanks for the nudge to get a 2nd ticket, must do next time they let me out. Thanks also for looking at my Chortle bird, it was hopeless posting where it fledged from so I put it up at the top. I have no idea if anyone looks any further and for that matter - is anyone left? It was written in jest, likely doesn't warrant any more fixing.

Well, back to Win10 to see where things have disappeared to. There tis!

Merlin
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #143149 · Replies: 10 · Views: 2,968

Merlin
Posted on: Apr 3 16, 11:00


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Hello Sylvia,
Yes, they're out there. I saw some at Walmart the other day!
Thanks for the reply. You are the targeted Sylvia, and have done so.

However - you've raised a prospect I hadn't thought of >>> if Larry replies, I'll need to get 2 lottery tickets. Fortunately I have a savings account since I hadn't considered spending 2 $!

I'm not up-to-date on the Carroll verses but have crossed them over time. Jabberwocky is best known, probably. I didn't look up where they came from, unlike Joyce who invented words... unless he used Gay-lick ones since he was Irish. Me? Not a gay-licker.

Syllabic verse. True, I did pay some attention to that but not 100% because of snippy use. I'm reminded of Dylan Thomas' Fern Hill, which rates very high with me. It's remarkably syllabic, among his best as I see it.

Cottonwood is correct, of course, but I split it up for a softer landing.

Made you laugh, did I? Must look into that!

Appreciate the time to respond, thx.

There tis.

Merlin

  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #143071 · Replies: 10 · Views: 2,968

Merlin
Posted on: Apr 2 16, 21:33


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Hi Y'all!
I know yer out there! C'mon in.

Here's a sonnet for Sylvia, taken from the Snippet Section, using Lewis Carroll's snips... or was it Carol Lewis's? Can't recall. You may crit *** as you wish, but keep in mind that the snippers listed downstream need to appear in the offering. Have at it - perhaps there will be a comment to go with the views. If that happens, I'll rush out and get a Lottery ticket!

Chortle Bird

He chortled in his joy to greet new dawn,
how cheerfully he seems when morn arises
with eager eyes, and gone the need to yawn,
all eager for the treat and day's surprises.

Lovingly shall nestle, he, on his nest 
of cotton wood, with a sort of mental 
time-clock full of tricks and fun impressed;
no creature heeds the duties quite as gentle.

When once in pain, he chortled in distress
and have(ing) grown most uncommonly inflicted,
he did what man naturally loves in such a mess,
drank from a jug, (the day was wet,) got nun-afflicted!

Yep, that's the story of the Chortle Bird,
as sure as chuckles, it's my honest word!



Snippets used:
1. He chortled in his joy
2. how cheerfully he seems 
3. with eager eyes 
4. all eager for the treat

5. lovingly shall nestle
6. with a sort of mental 
7. full of tricks and fun
8. no creature heeds the 

9. When once in pain
10. and have grown most uncommonly 
11. man naturally loves,
12. the day was wet,
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #143065 · Replies: 10 · Views: 2,968

Merlin
Posted on: Apr 1 16, 22:42


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Well done, RCJ.

I recognized the snips from James ReJoyce!

Merlin
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #143055 · Replies: 2 · Views: 966

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 30 16, 10:20


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Hi Larry, and thanks.

Yep, T.S. Rex didn't tickle my fancy, so I changed it. Now I'm tickled.

I'm looking at different snip-sets to see what they might offer. Anne Bradstreet didn't get much exposure, so I've taken hers and have a copy, but will let it sit a day or so.

Glad you looked in as looky-loos are getting scarce again.

M

  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #143043 · Replies: 13 · Views: 1,820

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 29 16, 21:35


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Did some more snippen, Larry! Hows dat? lifepreserver.gif


Soy Cosquillas

Like an old battered lantern
hung on a ramshackle barn wall,
cunning passages, contrived corridors
and the circles of the stormy seas
compelled my imagination.
A heap of broken images,
a reminder of faint stale smells
in death's dream kingdom tumbled,
and, trembling with tenderness,
commanded in its arboreal gloom –
I must obey!
And through the spaces,
the broadways, the pathways,
the trails and the byways,
by the ripple of music, starlight,
and moonlight, I must obey.
The reminiscence comes:
I must obey!

writersblock.gif

Snippets used: an old battered lantern hung, cunning passages, contrived corridors, the circles of the stormy, compelled my imagination, a heap of broken images, of faint stale smells, in death's dream kingdom, trembling with tenderness, in its arboreal gloom, and through the spaces, by the ripple of, the reminiscence comes
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #143038 · Replies: 13 · Views: 1,820

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 27 16, 14:16


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Here's a quick snip for ya, Larry. I used longer lines in WW's style.

There among the rocks where time appears as but a spirit
that trails like the gossamer thread through late September
crimson afternoons, there, when I sit alone in the dalliance of 
Mother Nature's pulses, reaped and winnowed, I feel
her shrouded hope, her veiled concern for creatures large and small. 

There, in the bleeding drops of late September scarlet,
I swim the delicate waters that pour softly down
to a far-off bay; they hold me powerless like a farewell swan,
and as the moon casts shadows over blue-green hilltops,
I see in the starlight Mother Nature smiling, smiling,
Mother Nature smiling in the starlight.



1. there among the rocks
2. spirit that trails 
3. the gossamer thread 
4. when I sit alone
5. the dalliance of 
6. Nature's pulses reaped
7. her shrouded hope 
8. the bleeding drops 
9. swim the delicate 
10. pour softly down
11. hold me powerless 
12. in the starlight
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #143007 · Replies: 7 · Views: 2,100

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 26 16, 12:10


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James Joyce, move over - I dunit! Ya can't Kilmer me, haha!
All snips used, plus a few invented, yeah!

Here tis.

Cherubs on a Flowering Branch 

I'd hear them pass along the river
free as moondew stars by night,
alluring as bugles of the cherubim,
thunder of horses – wild
foothill mustang rovers.

A stark Nell tolls,
a child is starkers, too;
weave come to woo
a flowering branch 
and muted, muttering rain.

How warm this night
with Nell, our child, and me,
a horseherd off atop those moondew
starry hills, we three,
soon we'll bonfire here
and drink the white rose tea,
then light a smoke, sail off
upon the sea… we three.

=== along the river - moondew stars - bugles of the cherubim - thunder of horses - a starknell tolls - a child is - come to woo - a flowering branch - muttering rain - soon we'll bonfire - the white rose - upon the sea ===
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142986 · Replies: 6 · Views: 1,700

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 26 16, 11:21


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Nightpiece, by James Joyce <<<Click

Oh Boy! Made me scratch my thurible! Whatever JJ's poem means – I haven't a clue. From the title, it's most probably a nightmare after a bottle of bad whiskey. Small wonder the Joyces were never high on my list.

I searched the word “starknell” to see what JJ might have meant since dictionaries have no listing. Was it “star-knell” or “stark-nell”? “Stark Nell” is a great image, as JJ tolls. Hoo nose?

That's how the entire poem came up on Bing(o). Google is doing weird things to me, telling that I don't have permission to search for things, even if it is the first after turning the pewter on in the morning. Therefore I Bing(o).

Stand by… I might create something yet.
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142985 · Replies: 6 · Views: 1,700

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 26 16, 10:26


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An excellent snipper response, Larry. Well done and perfectly seasonal.

I keep getting those Joyces mixed up - I think that I shall never see... myself clear of that.

Perhaps I'll attempt a snipper again also.

Happy Easter.

Merlin

  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142984 · Replies: 6 · Views: 1,700

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 17 16, 10:11


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Arrrgh! Durn things. I know I took that comma out, but it must have snuck in when I looked the other way.
Well said - you can always remove unwanted ones.

Thanks

M
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142901 · Replies: 7 · Views: 1,503

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 16 16, 17:06


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Hi Larry,
I apologize for the oversight and not recognizing your comment. I actually thought I had done so in my reply. Must be getting on - oh dear!

Thank you for the comment, as always, most appreciated. As for Facebook, I'm not overly active there but have it for different resources, such as news because I don't watch TV. A lot of interesting stuff appears, depending on what you select. I would say it's worth a shot, and you need not be really active. You may remember Ron, aka jgdittier, once present here at MM. He's on FB, but never looks in.

Hope you'll excuse my error here.

Merlin
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142891 · Replies: 7 · Views: 1,503

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 15 16, 12:10


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I've posted my first version of #3 above, with some changes as per suggestions.

Regarding those>>>
I'd delete "fragrant.” Makes the line tighter.
Quite right, fragrant adds nothing, was most probably a word I used, then amidst changes it stayed put.

Missing period for Mr. I don't think you need so many commas surrounding …

Periods in greetings have often fallen away, modernization of the language or laziness – I'm not sure. I see it often and have gotten used to going that route. It's become accepted like other grammatical things. (I recall school days when we were taught that “alright” was alwrong! It was “all right” but now “alright” is accepted in dictionaries.) The “I, too,” is grammatical correct, but same reason – not necessary. Commas are often over-used and I've taken a load out for later use!

Thank you once again.

Merlin



PS - still looking at tweaks
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142870 · Replies: 7 · Views: 1,503

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 15 16, 00:00


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Thank you for the insight, Luce. It's appreciated, especially the horse/hair bit. Up north here we are getting more migrant Mexican workers, but I have little opportunity to speak Spanish, even while my reading it improves. I'll make the correction forthwith!

We're 100% on the 'activities' word choice; it had already poked me in the eye when doing a re-read. Your other comments are all good, and I'll be looking things over closely over the next day.

As to the experiment, I did that to see how it might work. I first did it all in line-break fashion, then tried the delete-delete key to bring all into one line. I'll repost the other also. Sandburg did run-on lines, but I'm not a big fan of such.

There tis,

Merlin
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142861 · Replies: 7 · Views: 1,503

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 13 16, 11:20


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Here's a trio. The first 2 are in the Facebook section. Third isn't. Go ahead and break the hard-clad rules and comment as you wish, including critique.

1
Wild Horses

Violet twilight!
Horses,
dark horses, pale horses,
sorrels, bays, pintos and blacks,
tramp and trot thru meadows and woods.
Wild.
Foals at play, pace, prance
and frolic. Dams keep
watchful eyes on coltish antics. (original = activities)

Humming a parting tune, the sun sinks
as darkness grasps firm handholds.
A moon slice cringes near a cloud;
stars strive to make dark sparkle.

violet, twilight, horses, pale, tramp, pace, hum, grasp, cringe, strive.


2
Los Caballos


Twilight fades. A pale violet moon
casts shadows across the valley.

Sometimes they remind me of you:
grasping unattainable castles,
cringing at thoughts of failure
while striving to catch comets.
We tramped thru hum-drum,
kept pace with trend setters,
wined and dined and danced.

Violet moonlit shadows wander the valley;
what peace there is in watching horses.

twilight, pale, violet, grasp, cringe, strive, tramp, hum, pace, horses.

3
When I was a Lad.


Often would I tramp
over meadows and find
violets amidst pale pink
clover reaches
when I was a lad.

Stopping by the creek
where cattle and horses drank,
I lingered a while, shirtless,
watching hummingbirds
perform aerobatics (original = sky antics)
when I was a lad.

Lady Killdeer nested somewhere
among pebbles, camouflaged.
She'd cringe in my presence,
using her “broken wing” ruse
to lure me away
when I was a lad.

Striving for freedom
is a shared dream,
and I set my pace
to sunshine and green,
grasping tree limbs
on my way to the top
when I was a lad.

At twilight time
when Mr Artisan Sun
disappeared down west,
I too made my way
back home
when I was a lad.

tramp, violets, pale, horses, hum, cringe, strive, pace, grasp, twilight.



Alternate and original trial version below>>>

3
– When I was a Lad. –


Often would I tramp over meadows and find violets amidst pale pink, fragrant clover reaches,
– when I was a lad. –

Stopping by the creek where cattle and horses drink, I lingered a while, shirtless, watching hummingbirds perform sky antics,
– when I was a lad. –

Lady Killdeer nested somewhere among pebbles, camouflaged. She'd cringe in my presence, using her “broken wing” ruse to lure me away,
– when I was a lad. –

Striving for freedom is a shared dream, and I set my pace to sunshine and green, grasping tree limbs on my way to the top,
– when I was a lad. –

At twilight time when Mr Artisan Sun disappeared down west, I, too, made my way back home,
– when I was a lad. –

tramp, violets, pale, horses, hum, cringe, strive, pace, grasp, twilight.

This is an experiment to see if it works. I have it in the other version also, V1 below >>>

Often would I tramp
over meadows and find
violets amidst pale pink,
fragrant clover reaches,
– when I was a lad. –
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142837 · Replies: 7 · Views: 1,503

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 13 16, 11:04


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Hello Larry,
well done to make a rhymer. The word-set may not be the easiest in this case. At any rate, I've not tried one.

Interesting on the word "on". For me it certainly rhymes with John and Dawn, also Don. Regional, perhaps, but rhyming with "Own" sounds a wee bit British to me. Shall I carry own? I say, y'all, jolly good.

I've posted a couple in FB, but as you don't use that forum, they will be here to see. They're getting about as much publicity over in cybertown as they will here!

M
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142836 · Replies: 6 · Views: 1,646

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 13 16, 10:52


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Hello Luce,
indeed, tis the life in the country. That said, cities are not immune to mice, and they get a better supply of rats.

I was a bit surprised to see you have horses that crawl. Of course, I have had cars that didn't run!

Re mouse traps - there was an interesting article on FB in Cottage Magazine. What I learned is that the critters can smell human hands that set the trap, therefore, wear gloves (plastic dishwashing ones will do) when doing the bait, and the bait should be only enough to lure, not feed the critter. Less is better than a large piece, so they depress the trigger. Cheese isn't the best, according to them.

Happy hunting.

M
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142835 · Replies: 5 · Views: 1,546

Merlin
Posted on: Mar 13 16, 10:43


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Hello RC,

interesting images spring into mind.
The last - dissolving - makes me hope there isn't a wet spot left behind while dreaming.

M
  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142834 · Replies: 2 · Views: 980

Merlin
Posted on: Feb 19 16, 22:30


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Hi Maureen,
Two small observations -
hoping you have a large enough pot to combine your pot pourri, cuzzin it's one word. Potpourri.
Then, down in V4, it otto be "day's" instead of "days".

Ah, if love can move mountains, I could use some to move the snow around here. Recently I rented a tractor to make room across the road so I could pile more over on that side. We sure have it aplenty here in the high country! Snow, that is, not love! However, ski hills think differently.

Good sentiments presented - a worthy read.

Merlin

  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #142562 · Replies: 9 · Views: 2,288

Merlin
Posted on: Feb 19 16, 22:25


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Hi Maureen,
Thanks for dropping by. You're completely correct regarding the eggs, cost and yolks. Too often the yolks are really pale although for some time now they seem to be a bit more appetizing-looking. I usually only use eggs for baking, seldom eat them as breakfast food.
Yes, the flock did keep their compound well in check regarding greens and bugs. I still have the run so will see what comes, but I do want to be away this summer.

Best,

Merlin
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #142561 · Replies: 15 · Views: 3,233

Merlin
Posted on: Feb 16 16, 18:56


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Check it out >>>

https://www.facebook.com/groups/MosaicMusings/

  Forum: Weekly Challenges -> Acropolis · Post Preview: #142480 · Replies: 1 · Views: 988

Merlin
Posted on: Feb 16 16, 00:47


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Congratulations, Sylvia.

This caught my eye as I was scrolling around here. I'm very pleased that you took top marks with a prose contribution, and perhaps that is because I have always liked Dylan Thomas's Christmas in Wales.

I'll also confess that I didn't read any contributions, likely because I submitted one right before the deadline. That said, I make no conclusions regarding others, leaving it up to the judges' best consideration. I can see where your warm-weather one should top them all.

At the moment, my snow is melting rapidly. Here in the high country we were not spared at all, accumulations amounted to some 90 cm or so. It's now moist and very heavy. Birds have returned, so I'm thinking leaves are beginning to turn in Patagonia. Our planet is tilting the other way again.

Best

Merlin

pharoah2.gif
  Forum: Mosaic Musings Holiday Classic · Post Preview: #142467 · Replies: 9 · Views: 6,261

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