Printable Version of Topic

Click here to view this topic in its original format

Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -> Herme's Homilies _ The Knack

Posted by: Larry Jan 2 18, 22:35

The Knack

Would that those who had come to pen
their thoughts and dreams without chagrin
had stayed around much longer when
their peers chimed in. Their peers chimed in

to help with some critiqued advice
and hoped suggestions would suffice
to polish gems that shined like ice
which would be nice. What would be nice

if all the folks who left came back
into Mosaic’s little shack
to show their expertise or lack
but want the knack. They want the knack.

Posted by: JustDaniel Jan 7 18, 09:12

You have a knack with that old pen
to cause my brain to stop and think
about your words, and once again
you prod until you find a chink

in rusty armor that I wear
so you can poke more fun at me
as though I stand before you bare
for you and all the world to see.

I'm Humpty Dumpty on a wall
precariously on my back.
I fear that you will make me fall
upon my crack; you'll make me crack.

Posted by: Larry Jan 7 18, 23:08

Hi Daniel,

Glad to see you back with pen in hand. I should say "for shame" with your last entry. I don't think you have written one of these since you wrote "Grace Oh’s Us Art" exactly 11 years ago tomorrow.

Revisiting the rules - Mono-tetra is aaaa, bbbb, cccc, etc. You may have forgotten. I guess you could call what you wrote Bi-tetra and get by with it.

Larry

Posted by: JustDaniel Jan 8 18, 00:05

I can't believe I erred again
and blotched my monotetra pen.
I showed up as an alien
and clucked as some old ailing hen.

I need to dust computer keys
so I won't write like amputees
now that I have two better knees;
my writing now should be a breeze.

On Tuesday I'll be at my house;
at night it's quiet as a mouse.
Perhaps I'll write again and douse
this thread and not be such a louse.

sLightly red, Daniel

Posted by: Larry Jan 8 18, 23:05

Just Human

Although we’re human, as it were
and we are often found to err…
a tiny truth. You might concur,
yet still we stir. We steal and stir

up words until we’re satisfied
with what is wrought for we’ve applied
our skill. That fact can’t be denied
for we have tried. ‘Fore we have tried

to write in unfamiliar form
we study what is called the “norm”
until a flower from the corm
grows like a charm. Goes likely charm.

Posted by: JustDaniel Jan 19 18, 07:17

... and of course I see that even in my last response to you I forgot about the restatement in each of the fourth lines! I needed to observe longer and better!

sLightly MORE red, Daniel