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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011 _ Shadow Chant (repost)

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Oct 31 10, 18:28

Shadow Chant

Burnt amber fades away to brown;
a cackling moon appears to frown --
a glint of lantern’s light is hurled
at shadows of this Netherworld.

Hysteria is sung aloud;
a festival of souls endowed
begin a grim, yet hallowed chant
which escalates to gruesome rant.

Their lair, immersed in orange mist
carves echoes with ancestral fists
into reflective moonlit skies;
a whisper once unscathed, allies.

Whose treat is this? the spirits cry…
We’ll not find out – until we die!

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 30 Oct 2009

Original:
Their lair, soaked in red-orange mist

Poem mused from the Times Ten challenge for 24 Oct 2009. Words: grim, shadow, lantern, Netherworld, festival, orange, hysteria, treat, carve, moon

Posted by: Eisa Oct 31 10, 18:50

This is great fun Lori - really enjoyed!

I just stumbled on L1 st3

Their lair, soaked in red-orange mist

I don't feel 'in' is strong enough. suggestions:

Their lair, immersed in orange mist

Their lair, immersed in red-gold mist

Still a great read tonight!

Thanks for sharing
Snow

Posted by: Cleo_Serapis Oct 31 10, 18:55

Hi Snow - you inspired me with your Hallows Eve poem!

I see what you mean about that line and I do like the suggestion of swapping soaked with immersed. I will sub that in now and say for a fine suggestion!

BOO!
~Cleo