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Lanturne, 1-2-3-4-1 |
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Oct 20 06, 08:04
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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LanturneThe lanturne (or lanterne) is a five-line light verse evidently derived from Haiku and shaped like a Japanese lantern (hence the name) with a syllabic pattern of 1 2 3 4 1 syllables. Sometimes described as a half-cinquain there seems to be no particular requirement for subject matter, though the original intention may have been a statement of nature. Generally, each line is a self-contained statement, such that the poem is not merely a sentence arbitrarily divided into syllables. Some suggest that the form should begin with a noun, with line 2 giving an action or description of the noun and lines 3 & 4 each giving a further description, and the 5th line offering another word for the noun, though not necessarily a synonym or even a noun. The form may or may not have a title, but it can be an integral part as the ‘sixth line’ of the poem. snow adrift covering ice where it may fall
© MLee Dickens'son 25 Feb 2005
nose sensing what eye can’t seeks to acquire skill
© MLee Dickens'son 22 Feb 2005
naught I ’ d r e a d echoed sense to comprehend aught
© MLee Dickens'son 27 Feb 2005
food for thought
sleep eschews leaves quickly with morning's break fast
© MLee Dickens'son 24 March 2005
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Oct 20 06, 08:14
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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knight's wet
rain falling empties clouds leaving his dreams damp
© MLee Dickens'son 20 Oct 2006
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Oct 21 06, 14:57
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Florida
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Real Name: Elizabeth
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Referred By:Lori Kanter
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... You have tempted me to try one on for size! Please critqiue and teach me how to make them stronger! Home longing safe refuge family, friends hearth
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Oct 22 06, 10:38
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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What is there to improve, Liz? Liz mentor critiquer par excellence bard
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Oct 22 06, 12:02
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Mosaic Master
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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This looks like a lot of FUN Daniel. All the examples are excellent (yours too Liz)! I also think this is like a 1/2 Cinquain. Here's my attempt at this form:
Souls Samhain celebrate faith's sacrifice dead
Wonder if I should change 'dead' to 'ghouls' ?
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Oct 22 06, 17:27
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Florida
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Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Thank you for that nice compliment Daniel. I miss those cinquain threads we use to have... and this is a pretty interesting form to enjoy like that... Hugs, Liz QUOTE Liz mentor critiquer par excellence bard Skill teacher meter mused in Daniel's hand craft Hi Lori... QUOTE Souls Samhain celebrate faith's sacrifice dead This is very powerful. I would say it would work quite well for the introduction to Holiday poems of the same theme, and or seasonal poetry for Autumn! :) This is a very strong example, is this your first one? ... Hugs, Liz
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Oct 22 06, 17:47
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Oct 22 06, 18:27 ) Hi Lori... QUOTE Souls Samhain celebrate faith's sacrifice dead This is very powerful. I would say it would work quite well for the introduction to Holiday poems of the same theme, and or seasonal poetry for Autumn! :) This is a very strong example, is this your first one? ... Hugs, Liz Hi Liz. Yes, this was my first Lanturne. I had All Hallows Eve on my mind. Thanks for your lovely compliment! Here's another: Leaves tumble ground cover speckled sienna... Fall
and another (these are fun)
Witch broomstick pentacle casting of spells charmed
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Oct 22 06, 18:31
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Addiction has begun! leaves
flipping
turn yellow
'neath dog-ear'd tale
book
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Oct 24 06, 15:14
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Nefertiti
Miz
who is
creative
not miscreant
Beth
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Guest_Cathy_*
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Oct 30 06, 10:11
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Guest
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Scares are near, so beware this Hallowed Eve.
Boo!
Happy Halloween all!
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Jun 17 07, 11:49
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Buds
flourish
blanketing
stems with dappled
blooms
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jul 1 07, 17:39
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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O l
bright
lanturnes
will soon light
Elizabeth's
porch
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Jul 1 07, 19:05
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Ah ... Yes, I did try one on for size! Thank you Daniel for the lovely light to brighten my entry! I will have to do a few more of these ... Best to you, Liz
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Jul 1 07, 19:21
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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You're welcome. I'd noted that you were about to review the params for the form, so I thought I'd offer another flicker to spark your re-entry! hang a round till the dawn has lit upon yew Lightly, Daniel
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May 23 08, 09:41
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Bulbs blossom garnishing nature’s palette Spring
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jun 11 08, 19:12
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Hey Lori,
This is very vivid. I liked how L1/L5 off set one another, bulb/spring and how you've allowed each line to grow into a whole image. For a very short form, you've painted a very crisp picture. :)
Nicely done. Hugs, Liz
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Jun 12 08, 05:32
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Thanks Liz - I've posted this one for crits over at Shogun's if you have any further thoughts. Cheers ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Sep 6 09, 15:58
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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lips
provide
impression
poet needs back
talk
© Daniel J Ricketts 26 Feb 2005
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Sep 14 11, 07:06
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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two
sparse years
spread out 'twixt
our responses
now
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Jan 25 12, 10:49
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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form
the sounds
to make words
reveal your light
style
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