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Poetic Challenge using Frost's "Acquainted with the Night" |
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Mar 11 14, 19:46
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Good NightI used to love to ride my bike at night. In summer I liked strolling in the rain. I once would run at early morning light. Five decades back I strode the winning lane -- mile-relay anchor -- all opponents beat. But now I'm old; there's little to explain. Neuropathy's affecting both my feet. Sometimes the pain will make me want to cry; at times it's even hard to cross the street. Bid basketball and volleyball goodbye; arthritis too is lessening my height. Athletics leave me staring at the sky. I know the Light, so darkness is all right; I'm truly now acquainted with the night. © MLee Dickens'son 2014
Challenge was to use each line's last word from Frost's poem:
Acquainted with the Night
I have been one acquainted with the night. I have walked out in rain—and back in rain. I have outwalked the furthest city light.
I have looked down the saddest city lane. I have passed by the watchman on his beat And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.
I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet When far away an interrupted cry Came over houses from another street,
But not to call me back or say good-bye; And further still at an unearthly height, One luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right I have been one acquainted with the night.
Copyright © Robert Frost
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Mar 12 14, 07:32
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Well done Daniel! A bit sad for reality, but does make for an excellent response. Cheers! ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Mar 12 14, 23:41
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 399
Joined: 11-April 13
From: Australia - The great Southern Land
Member No.: 5,178
Real Name: Maureen Clifford
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:arnfinn
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That's a ripper Daniel - well done - love it and relate to it - sadly
Cheers
Maureen
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Mar 13 14, 17:07
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Mar 12 14, 08:32 ) Well done Daniel! A bit sad for reality, but does make for an excellent response. Cheers! ~Cleo Thanks much, Lori. Age does trudge right on, ya know! QUOTE (Maureen @ Mar 13 14, 00:41 ) That's a ripper Daniel - well done - love it and relate to it - sadly
Cheers, Maureen I appreciate your approbation, Maureen. I'm glad and sad at once that you relate to it! sLightly hobbled, Daniel
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Mar 14 14, 02:12
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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Dear Daniel,
Thank you, what would I do without your eagle-eye ? Can't imagine why I went for peak, as height here means the same.
Love Alan
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Mar 14 14, 05:02
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Hey, Alan... my eyes do still pick up little things, but alas the greater problems I have with my eyes (not mentioned in my Good Night above) certainly don't allow them to soar like eagles! sLightly blurred, Daniel
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Mar 16 14, 02:05
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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Dear Daniel,
Well OK, I'll settle for your metaphorical eagle-eye then ! You know, looking back on your Good Night, I somehow never thought of you as an athlete, but that shows my lack of imagination, why ever not ?
Love Alan
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Mar 16 14, 12:09
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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It's been a LONG time since my athleticism, Alan... I had both knees replaced a hundred pounds ago... But when I entered the Army National Guard at age 36, during our Physical Training Test at my first Annual Training, only ONE guy beat me in the 2 mile run! Not bad for a comparatively old man, huh? When I was a kid (age 11), in my first year playing baseball I became the starting center fielder on a Pee Wee League (12-year-olders), and our third baseman on The Burns Boys was a 9-year-old, Ron Cey, who was to become an All-Star for the Los Angeles Dodgers and Chicago Cubs. I remember a couple of years later we had a scrimmage game with another team from our Boys' Club who were a year older than we. In that game I reached first on an infield hit, then stole second, third and home. The next time up I walked, then again stole second, third and home. The coach of the other team was serving as 'umpire' and called me out at home, even though his catcher missed me by something over a yard. I just got up from my slide, looked at him and laughed. He was furious!! LOL I was too small to play football on my high school team, but I excelled in the City leagues 'till I was 16. I was captain of our cross-country team during football season and was the anchor man on our mile-relay team that broke the Tacoma (WA) City record by 3.6 seconds. Two years later my future brother-in-law anchored the team that beat our record. I didn't do much in the way of athletic again until I joined the Guard 19 years later! deLighting in recalling my smaller days, Daniel
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Mar 16 14, 13:26
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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Dear Daniel,
Wow. Respect. I am to athletics and football and baseball as a snowball is to hellfire. I played playground soccer after school for a coupla years, and was dragged into rugby cuz that is what the school played, but used my eyesight as an excuse (or maybe not excuse) to escape.
Because I have always been better on the thinking side, I sort of assumed that would be true of you too.
Love Alan
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Apr 7 14, 23:13
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,505
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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One Day Year
For six long months there’s nothing but the night though now, as seasons change, a warming rain is heralding the days of prolonged light where one may stroll along a wooded lane
to see the leaves and birds return. The beat of nature’s heart; I wish I could explain how soft the new grass feels tickling my feet. Springtime is here and I could almost cry
with joy as I walk down that emerald street. I bid the frozen stars a tired good-bye and wish them well out in their lofty height for I would rather keep this azure sky. To have a “one day year” does not seem right when half of it is spent in endless night.
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Apr 8 14, 07:29
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Larry, What a lovely response. This just happens to be today's writing prompt at Poetry Super Highway and their page on Facebook. You should definitely post it. Enjoyed, Lori
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Apr 8 14, 10:01
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Here's my slight tweaking of my response from 2010:
A Wakening
In districts dimly lit it’s always night where troubled ones seek solace from the rain hoping to seize a sign of mislaid Light.
Specters ensnare the weak from lumbered lane priming their craft with those already beat. These acts, often unnoticed, don’t explain
the cruel and unjust faltering of feet on paths that yield a warning, no; a cry for help. Can someone save them from that street?
It comes from deep within; let’s say good-bye to fragments of ourselves. We’ll scale that height and rise above to see a sapphire sky.
It starts today! Conquer those wrongs and right the past; a dawning comes from fettered night.
Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Apr 8 14, 23:12
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,505
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Lori, Sorry, I can't post my entry on Poetry Super Highway because it has to be posted on the "Facebook" part under comments and one must first log in to their Facebook account before any entry can be made. You can put it on there if you want to. Another thing that has started recently is that I seem to be able to write endlessly on one line unless I hit enter while in the entry box. Is there something changed? When my cursor gets to the left hand side of the page, the words I type in just keep on going and going and going. Oh, I did enjoy your rewrite but had to go back to the other one to see the differences. Larry
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Apr 9 14, 06:01
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi Larry, I love your response and am glad you permitted me to post it for you. So I did! I think I would like to write a new one for Spring as well as you've inspired me. I know, I can't stand that either! I think it's the version of internet explorer that isn't wrapping text like it used to? Which version are you on? I noticed it about 5 months ago after getting my new laptop. It uses Windows 8 and IE10, now 11. I got so annoyed by it that I use Mozilla Firefox here instead, which wraps text as we like it to. Let me know which version of IE you use. I'm not sure we can fix it as we are on an older version of this forum board's software, which is unsupported. I can send a message to Peter though and see if he can fix things up. It really drove me batty when I post new challenges, as I copy the previous one and type-over. I simply cannot do that with the endless lines. At least Firefox is like the old way. I recommend that you give that a try. I haven't tried it with Google Chrome - I will do that at work today and post back here. You should post your poem for crits - it's so lovely!!!! Cheers, Lori
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Apr 9 14, 09:35
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,505
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Lori,
Thanks for the explanation. I'm using Windows7 and IE11 and am not technologically savvy enough to try other new programs. I'll just hit "enter" when I get to the right side of the page!
I will post this for crits but with just one (*).
Glad you enjoyed my offering and thanks for putting it on that Facebook page for me. (I'm not a member).
Larry
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Apr 9 14, 12:07
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,130
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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What is the Poetry Super Highway.
I seem to be driving in the boondocks somewhere!
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Apr 9 14, 14:09
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Yeah, I do think its a setting in IE - Internet Exploder as I refer to it. lol! I'm using Google Chrome now to reply and the box is like we like it. I also just opened IE on my work laptop and it looks fine too - no run on sentences...
Weird!!!!!
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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May 5 14, 11:12
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,505
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Lori,
I'm sure you have heard but I'll give you a head-up just in case.
DON'T USE IE!!!!!!!
There is a very vicious virus vacuuming vitals voraciously. It will get all your important data and possibly take over your computer and use it for its own purposes. I'm using Chrome or AOL until I hear that Microsoft has alleviated the problem.
Larry
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May 6 14, 07:08
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi Larry, Oh YES, I've heard of this one! I've updated my laptop at home and the Bose computer too (per a mandatory Microsoft update), ! Well - it's NOT funny but necessary... I've finally gotten the MMHC results back and will be posting today = YAY! THAT took a long time! I've been away and need to get back into the groove. Cheers, ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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May 19 14, 23:12
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,505
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Star Trek
Within my wooded glen the veil of night falls silently upon my eyes like rain which drifts with summer’s breeze. Too light
a touch to feel yet dampening the lane by laying down its mirrors. My heartbeat reverberates in ways I can’t explain
to see reflected glory at my feet. Could this be me or does the earth now cry to fill the mottled gaps on silvered street
where I would deign to never say good-bye. That stellar mist which falls from eon’s height is merest ember from a lustrous sky
which shares its memories. No wrong or right intrudes upon my woodland strolls at night.
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