Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Larry]

If your life is a mess, more or less
and you feel like you need to confess
all your sins to a priest
but you’ll tell him you’ve ceased
going out on the town in a dress.

[JustDaniel]

Since you like walkin' 'round in your frock
you had best keep your eyes on the clock.
When I reaches 1-2
you'll be faced by the shrew
who will rip off your clothes to your jock!

[Larry]

To my jock? If my clothes are ripped off
I’m afraid the old shrew will not scoff
but will want to cavort;
no athletic support
can contain; but it may make her cough.

[Larry]

If it’s making her cough, it contains
a few threads from my raggedy Hanes
which I should throw away
but it won’t be today;
I’ll keep them though there are a few stains.

[JustDaniel]

If they're stained maybe you should buy yellow
to match your bedspread and your pillow;
you could pee anywhere
leaving nothing to spare
and you'd still be a wonderful fellow.



^{I'm sitting here laughing out loud at the thought of this one!}

[Larry]

Being wonderful fellows, we still
try to pick out some pages to fill
practicing each retort
but I’m here to report
that I don’t think our chief ever will

[Larry]

Though I don’t think our chief ever will
be real active and give us a thrill
with her poems and prose
as she once did; who knows
that she might when she’s over the hill.

[JustDaniel]

If our chief ever does, we would say
it's a very spectacular day
'cause our basement would be
used by someone whom we
could continue to have some word play.

[Larry]

To continue to have some wordplay
we must post until our dying day
or until some arrive
to keep this site alive;
until then, I am planning to stay.

[JustDaniel]

If you're planning to stay until then
we should create a house for some hens
so that we can have eggs
and perhaps some big kegs
of root beer like guys have in their dens.

[Larry]

The root beers some men have in their dens
aren’t from sassafras. Where it begins
is from barley and hops
and some vegetable crops
they consume when their favorite team wins.

[JustDaniel]

When their favorite team wins they consume
more than vegetables, I would assume.
They have pizza and beers
and whatever appears
that one's wife may bring into the room.

[Larry]

One’s wife brought to the room for the games
a big pot of fondue but the shame’s
on the guys, none dug in
for their team didn’t win
and all efforts just went up in flames.

[JustDaniel]

If your efforts have gone up in flames
you have none but yourself to take blame
'cause you didn't give bucks
to the down-on-their lucks
who collect for FD. What a shame!

[Larry]

Who collects for FD? What a shame
that the traffic backed up when they came
proffering a big boot.
I just threw in some loot
for the guys who don’t get enough fame.

[JustDaniel]

If the guys do not get enough fame
why not go set your own house aflame
then lie down inside
'til they come to your side
and drag you out. Larry, you game?

[Larry]

Larry’s never been game to be dragged
unless he has been tied up and gagged
but if he is among
ladies with a sharp tongue
he’ll leave quick; doesn’t like to be nagged.

[JustDaniel]

So you won't hang around with a nag
but I've heard that you've been dressed in drag!
Do you have any pix
of your old gender mix?
… and how many more tricks in your bag?

[Larry]

In my bag there are many more tricks
like Ben Gay for my aches, pains and cricks
and some rope with good bight
to keep my trans-vest tight
and a gun when I get in a fix.

[JustDaniel]

If you're fixing to get a handgun
is it for business or just for fun?
Will you animal-shoot
or to settle dispute?
Will you shoot up a group or just one?