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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms _ One More Limerick

Posted by: ace Sep 11 09, 18:16

There once was an emu called Betty Lou
who covered a golf course with derring do;
the golfers complained;
the club pro was pained,
but the grass on the greens was like new.

ace

Posted by: Peggy Carpenter Harwood Sep 11 09, 20:07

Hi Ace,

I really like the limerick!!! Ha!!! Ha!!!

One nit: Did you mean to type Betty Lou? I believe the extra "d" is a typo, isn't it?

Peggy

Posted by: Thoth Sep 13 09, 01:54

Hi Ace
Good limerick Mate, but I fear you have one too many syllables in L1,L2 & L5 lines.

I tried to trim it but the lines changed all by themselves

There once /was an em/u called Lou
played golf/ as all Auss/ies must do.
When golf/ers complained;
their pro/ ascertained
that balls /were being kicked /black and blue.

(wasn't me)

this one uses 8 syllables but 9 can be used with the last syllable unstressed
as follows;

An em/u in North/-west Australia
played golf/ in his fin/est reggalia

OK, I'll stop, before the Aussies complain!

Damm, these things are fun!

Cheers
Wally

Posted by: JustDaniel Sep 13 09, 09:08

QUOTE (ace @ Sep 11 09, 19:16 )

There once was an emu called Betty Loud
who covered a golf course with derring do;
the golfers complained;
the club pro was pained,
but the grass on the greens was like new.

ace

Wally is right, though his grace
seems Aussified here, out of place
for your fine softer greens --
and those fairways between
so strewn with a substance quite base:

An emu they called Betty Lou
strew the links with her fine derring do;
though the golfers complained
and the club pro was pained,
the grass on the greens was like new.

Lightly editing, Daniel

Posted by: ace Sep 14 09, 15:38

Peggy:

Thank you; I have done the appropriate edit...now if I could only learn to type. Glad it gave you a smile.

ace