Hatred Scars Souls, from Pandora's June Challenge Options

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hatred Scars the Soul

Persecution’s legacy
reverberates through time
gifting fear to each generation.

Discontentment craves targets;
paranoia snaps
integration’s tenuous threads;
anger shreds fragile scars.

Hatred’s flames
sear surface harmony
exposing differences,
isolating communities.

Hostility nurtures violence,
kills acceptance;
destroys lives.

Death litters memories -
traces echo over centuries.


Hatred Scars the Soul (original)

Persecution’s legacy
reverberates through time,
gifting fear to each generation.

Discontentment craves targets;
paranoia snaps
integration’s tenuous threads;
anger claws fragile scars.

Hatred’s flames
sear surface harmony,
exposing differences,
isolating communities.

Hostility nurtures violence,
kills acceptance;
destroys lives.

Death litters memories -
traces echo over centuries.[/b]

copyright Nina 2006

Nina

This post has been edited by Nina: Jun 16 06, 16:36

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Hi Nina

Hard, punchy and bleak. I felt very uncomfortable reading this; well done.

Your words here are so very true, unfortunately. It doesn't take much to rip off the surface "niceness" and release such legacies. I love the line "gifting fear to each generation" in particular.

No suggestions, save that in anger claws fragile scars I'm not quite sure about "claws" ... rips? punctures? shreds? "claws" has an image of helpless desperation ... maybe you mean that? It would be valid, I know, but I think the angery violence itself tends to be deliberate and hateful, not desperation?

Fran

[Arnfinn]

Hi Nina,

Hey, very powerful poem here, full of tempest and fury.

About the rise of downtrodden, a vicious cycle. Hatred nurtured by opposing points of view,
There all here.
two wrongs surface, within politics, poverty and wealth, colour and the most common... the incompatibility of different religions.

About 75% of earths iinhabitants contend with fear and uncertainty The other 25% seem to be heading in the same direction?



John

[Maggie]

Hi Nina,

Wow! You've written about some very universal problems in this one! It reminds me of Afghanistan and Northern Ireland and the USA and Israel and Palestine. I have no corrections or suggestions for the body of the poem because I think it is very well-done, very universal, and very true. Great job!

I do have a suggestion about the title. I hesitate to do this since I'm a newbie but here goes. Gulp! I'd like to see a more all-encompassing title than one that focuses on hatred since hatred is only a portion of the body. Perhaps something such as "Soul Searers," or "Soul Shredders" or "Soul Scarers" or "The Sins of the Fathers-" not just one subdivision of the whole. Of course this is just in my opinion. It's a great poem, and it is your call.

Once again, I really am very impressed with your poem!

Peggy

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Fran

Hard, punchy and bleak. I felt very uncomfortable reading this; well done.

Thank you and apologies for making you feel uncomfortable but then hatred and persecuation aren't comfortable subjects.

Your words here are so very true, unfortunately. It doesn't take much to rip off the surface "niceness" and release such legacies. I love the line "gifting fear to each generation" in particular.

Indeed, the veneer is very thin as was demonstrated so clearly in Nazi Germany

No suggestions, save that in anger claws fragile scars I'm not quite sure about "claws" ... rips? punctures? shreds? "claws" has an image of helpless desperation ... maybe you mean that? It would be valid, I know, but I think the angery violence itself tends to be deliberate and hateful, not desperation?

Yes, you make a good point. I quite like shreds and it works well for alliteration as well, thanks.

Thanks very much

Nina

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi John

Hey, very powerful poem here, full of tempest and fury.

Thank you

About the rise of downtrodden, a vicious cycle. Hatred nurtured by opposing points of view,
There all here.
two wrongs surface, within politics, poverty and wealth, colour and the most common... the incompatibility of different religions.

Indeed and I was thinking of different religions when I wrote the peace. It does seem to generate so much hatred.

About 75% of earths iinhabitants contend with fear and uncertainty The other 25% seem to be heading in the same direction?

Interesting statistics, yet we don't think others are contending with the same emotions.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Nina

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Peggy

Wow! You've written about some very universal problems in this one! It reminds me of Afghanistan and Northern Ireland and the USA and Israel and Palestine. I have no corrections or suggestions for the body of the poem because I think it is very well-done, very universal, and very true. Great job!

Thank you very much. I think it is a problem everyone can relate to.

I do have a suggestion about the title. I hesitate to do this since I'm a newbie but here goes. Gulp! I'd like to see a more all-encompassing title than one that focuses on hatred since hatred is only a portion of the body. Perhaps something such as "Soul Searers," or "Soul Shredders" or "Soul Scarers" or "The Sins of the Fathers-" not just one subdivision of the whole. Of course this is just in my opinion. It's a great poem, and it is your call.

Please don't hesitate to offer suggestion, your opinion is much appreciated. I gave the poem that title because it came from the Pandora's challenge which the poem was written for. However it can easily be changed. I see what you are getting and will think on it, though none of your alternatives feel quite right.

Once again, I really am very impressed with your poem!

You're very kind, thank you.

Nina

[Guest_ferns_*]

Hatred Scars the Soul

Persecution’s legacy
reverberates through time,
gifting fear to each generation.

Discontentment craves targets;
paranoia snaps
integration’s tenuous threads;
anger shreds fragile scars.

Hatred’s flames
sear surface harmony,
exposing differences,
isolating communities.

Hostility nurtures violence,
kills acceptance;
destroys lives.

Death litters memories ---------------------- I am confused a bit here
traces echo over centuries. Is it Death that echos
or memories? But that could
copyright Nina 2006 just be me.

Nina

Raw feelings, very well expressed, Nina.

[Guest_ferns_*]

Hi Nina:

Been gone a while, but back now. This is a superb poem expressing raw feelings. My favorite kind! Please excuse previous post, I am stumbling around figuring out how to do this again. The last two lines are a bit confusing for me, but it is probably just ME. How would this work:
Death litters,
memory traces echo over centuries.

Hatred Scars the Soul

Persecution’s legacy <-----------------Great line!-
reverberates through time,
gifting fear to each generation.

Discontentment craves targets;
paranoia snaps
integration’s tenuous threads;
anger shreds fragile scars.

Hatred’s flames
sear surface harmony,
exposing differences,
isolating communities.

Hostility nurtures violence,
kills acceptance;
destroys lives.

Death litters memories -
traces echo over centuries.

copyright Nina 2006

Nina

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Ferns

Been gone a while, but back now. This is a superb poem expressing raw feelings. My favorite kind! Please excuse previous post, I am stumbling around figuring out how to do this again.

It's good to see you again. If you have any questions or problems with the board, just give me a shout via PM and I'll try to help you.

The last two lines are a bit confusing for me, but it is probably just ME. How would this work:
Death litters,
memory traces echo over centuries

Thanks for the suggestion. I am trying to say subsequent generations remember the deaths, persecution and hatred of previous generations and it has an influence on their own lives, fears, reactions. So there are traces of both the deaths and the memory of how those deaths happened.

Hope that makes sense.

Nina

[Guest_ferns_*]

I see where you are going here. How about:
Death litter
and memory traces
echo over generations.

Hi Ferns



It's good to see you again. If you have any questions or problems with the board, just give me a shout via PM and I'll try to help you.
Thanks for the suggestion. I am trying to say subsequent generations remember the deaths, persecution and hatred of previous generations and it has an influence on their own lives, fears, reactions. So there are traces of both the deaths and the memory of how those deaths happened.

Hope that makes sense.

Nina

[Guest_Nina_*]

Thanks Fern

Nina

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Nina.

I very much enjoyed your turning this Pandora response into a poem. As I mentioned in Pandora, I immediately think of different classes in communities and prejudice roaring its ugly face. We never learn do we? I think it is not only in our heritage, but in our human nature and goes back to the beginnings of time. It's that question of 'do two wrongs make a right' ~ good v. evil balance. If we all truly loved one another, it shouldn't matter what our color, race, religious beliefs are, should it?

An excellent poem whcih really shouldmake all stop and ponder....

Bravo!
~Cleo

[+] {-}

Persecution’s legacy
reverberates through time{,}
gifting fear to each generation.

Discontentment craves targets;
paranoia snaps
integration’s tenuous threads;
anger shreds fragile scars.

Hatred’s flames
sear surface harmony{,}
exposing differences,
isolating communities.

Hostility nurtures violence,
kills acceptance;
destroys lives.

Death litters memories -
traces echo {over} [throughout] centuries.
OR
traces echo centuries over.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Lori

I very much enjoyed your turning this Pandora response into a poem.

When I first saw the Pandora challenge, I didn't think I'd be able to come up with a response to the phrases. However once I realised you could mix and match the words in each phrase a light went on in my mind as I saw the idea of "Hatred scars Souls."

Because of something I've been dealing with over the last couple of weeks, the legacy and effects of persecution and how it is passed down through generations has been on my mind and so the poem came together very easily.

As I mentioned in Pandora, I immediately think of different classes in communities and prejudice roaring its ugly face. We never learn do we? I think it is not only in our heritage, but in our human nature and goes back to the beginnings of time. It's that question of 'do two wrongs make a right' ~ good v. evil balance. If we all truly loved one another, it shouldn't matter what our color, race, religious beliefs are, should it?

I probably should consider different classes when thinking of persecution but for me it is different cultures, colour, race and religion. We don't truly love each other. I agree it is part and parcel of human nature. Persecution is a reaction to a need for power, fear of anyone who is different, perceived as a threat, someone to blame for your own feelings of worthlessness and oppression and propoganda/lies passed down over the years.

An excellent poem whcih really shouldmake all stop and ponder....

I hope so

Thanks for your suggestions, no probs with the punctuation.

Death litters memories -
traces echo {over} [throughout] centuries.

As I have used "through generations" in the first verse, I think I will stick with over.

thanks very much for your thoughts, discussion and suggestions.

Nina

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Nina.

Because of something I've been dealing with over the last couple of weeks, the legacy and effects of persecution and how it is passed down through generations has been on my mind and so the poem came together very easily.

I think it is commendable to write our feelings down when we are faced with these types of issues/thoughts/experiences and they weigh heavily on our minds. To express ourselves as artists and lend our emotional input/feedback on them is a good thing! How else will we be heard?

We don't truly love each other. I agree it is part and parcel of human nature. Persecution is a reaction to a need for power, fear of anyone who is different, perceived as a threat, someone to blame for your own feelings of worthlessness and oppression and propoganda/lies passed down over the years.

I agree. If people learn to accept/embrace who they are and others they perceive as 'different' from themselves, the world would surely be a different place. I feel for the little ones who grow up in this environment and learn from their parents/elder siblings. They surely must learn 'racism' for example as it isn't something they are born with. To me, on a much lighter note, its the same with respect. I see so many teens swearing, hitting etc. and they get away with it because no disipline has been interjected in their upbringing. They do not know (or don't care) that they are doing a wrong - so they continue to do it and pass it on to younger kids.

You've inspired me to try this Pandora challenge!

Cheers
~Lori

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Lori

I think it is commendable to write our feelings down when we are faced with these types of issues/thoughts/experiences and they weigh heavily on our minds. To express ourselves as artists and lend our emotional input/feedback on them is a good thing! How else will we be heard?

Thank you. I usually do write down my feeling thoughts on issues I feel strongly about. I tend to write from an emotional POV. If I don't feel it, I can't write about it.

I agree. If people learn to accept/embrace who they are and others they perceive as 'different' from themselves, the world would surely be a different place. I feel for the little ones who grow up in this environment and learn from their parents/elder siblings. They surely must learn 'racism' for example as it isn't something they are born with. To me, on a much lighter note, its the same with respect. I see so many teens swearing, hitting etc. and they get away with it because no disipline has been interjected in their upbringing. They do not know (or don't care) that they are doing a wrong - so they continue to do it and pass it on to younger kids.

Yes, prejudice is learnt behaviour. As with many of our attitudes they are acquired from our parents and our peers. It is self perpetuating, passed on from generation to generation. It is the same with bad parenting. It is so easy to fall into the same habits. Much harder to stop, think and realise it is wrong and consciously change.

You've inspired me to try this Pandora challenge!

Good luck. I look forward to reading your response and thanks for a very interesting challenge.

Nina

[Guest_Nina_*]

I've made a couple of minor revisions

Nina

[Cleo_Serapis]

Nina!

I think this change:
anger shreds fragile scars
sings!

You go girl!
~Cleo

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Lori

Thanks very much, I'm pleased you like the revision. It was a good suggestion of Fran's.

Nina