This made me smile Steve and like Sylvia, I see nothing major to change, except removing a few 'ands'
Skating
Ice melts, [and] mov
ing[es] swiftly
beneath my silver blades,
I loop,
effortlessly [and] spiral
ling down
the rink [effortlessly].
I slide into figures [and] spinn
ing,
[do] double axels and toe jumps,
I dance as one with the ice.
Then my dream shatters
as I finish lacing my skates
and my ankles bend awkwardly out.
I love the twist at the end!
Snow