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> Tanka, 5-7-5-7-7 [or less]
JustDaniel
post Sep 15 06, 11:23
Post #1


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Posts: 12,838
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori



Note: I'd thought there had been a post on this form earlier, but I could not locate it. If I'm incorrect, please let me know.

Tanka is a Japanese form of poetry of 31 onji; the closest we Americans come to that is to think in terms of 31 syllables. The lines are generally 5,7,5,7,7 syllables in length -- or preferably less -- short-long-short-long-long.

I'm told that the earlier tanka shifted rhythm after the 12th onji; the more modern ones de-emphasize the location of shift or switch after the 17th.

At any rate, here are some of my own attempts, for whatever they may be worth:


Stumbling

Stumbling into growth
may be bloody painful stuff,
but scars remind me
this vulnerability
opens my heart to loving.

© MLee Dickens'son 05 July 2002



Jesus’ Earthy Dad


kept her a virgin
miraculous conception
of Mary’s Joseph
whose union was further blessed:
four sons and unnamed daughters

© MLee Dickens'son12 Dec 2003

- Matthew 1:25; Mark 6:3



annuals vs. perennial


‘lovers’ seek to come
seasoned and with wild bouquet
pretending to root;
a love is but one… who blooms
when planted in nurtured ground

© MLee Dickens'son 18 Dec 2003


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Larry
post Jul 12 19, 21:51
Post #2


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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 9,458
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.



policemen checked her
on the lighted street corner
but had to defer
arrest and had to warn her
to quit being a joiner


·······IPB·······

When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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Posts in this topic
- JustDaniel   Tanka   Sep 15 06, 11:23
- - JustDaniel   Lori... since you've asked about Tanka (and I...   Oct 4 09, 23:49
- - JustDaniel   boundaries many a kiss becomes a wake-up slap bou...   Jan 25 12, 11:15
- - JustDaniel   re-membered remember: days when you ran with the ...   Apr 11 12, 07:50
- - Alan   I can't like your knees gnarled and knobbly un...   Apr 11 12, 08:34
|- - JustDaniel   QUOTE (Alan @ Apr 11 12, 09:34 ) I can...   Apr 11 12, 09:13
- - Larry   Standing among stumps where a forest once florishe...   Apr 11 12, 08:58
- - Larry   Pictures are painted depicting what artists see or...   Apr 13 12, 14:59
- - JustDaniel   a yellow splash on an indigo canvas... epiphany a ...   Apr 18 12, 15:09
- - JustDaniel   A Current Scene Look at your King... shall I cruc...   Mar 10 13, 19:55
- - Larry   Hi Daniel, Timely and nicely done! I'll ...   Mar 11 13, 09:34
- - JustDaniel   Thanks, Larry. I tried to utilize an old story to...   Mar 11 13, 10:44
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- - JustDaniel   since dogwood decayed he constructed a cathouse; g...   Mar 11 13, 14:00
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- - Larry   oozes on the page are unctuous platitudes which ma...   Mar 3 19, 14:56
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