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> Rondeau, Poetic Form Exercise
Cleo_Serapis
post Aug 30 03, 09:33
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The Rondeau consists of three stanzas, a quintet (5 lines), a quatrain (4 lines) and a sestet (6 lines), making the poem a total of 15 lines.

The first phrase of the first line usually sets the refrain ®, but sometimes the refrain can be the whole of the first line. The structure is:

line 1 - a ®(normally the first phrase is the refrain)
line 2 - a
line 3 - b
line 4 - b
line 5 - a

line 6 - a
line 7 - a
line 8 - b
line 9 - R

line 10 - a
line 11 - a
line 12 - b
line 13 - b
line 14 - a
line 15 - R

The meter is considered be open and the French style is not bound by a rhyming pattern and also is more of a light and buoyant even "flashy" form of poetry which uses short lines. The English style however, is much more dour and serious, even meditative and uses tetrameter or pentameter.

An excellent example of the English Rondeau form by Lt. Col. John McCrae, M.D., 1872-1918 follows:

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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JustDaniel
post Oct 27 03, 07:48
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Hey, LorII, here's the only one I've ever written:

His Guilt’s Assumed

His guilt’s assumed, perhaps because
you watched his lows reveal dark flaws
more clearly than before – a door
locked tight produced his sophomore
repeated, scratching . . . raw forepaws.

All gilt’s consumed by frantic claws
reacting to some inner laws
that bring survival to the fore;
his guilt’s assumed.

But whose the guilt?  Is it for cause?
Why all this need for tape and gauze?
perhaps someone, something before?
some feeling triggered you forswore?
Bind up the heart; clench fists and jaws.
His guilt’s assumed.

©Lt. Col. Daniel J Ricketts 10 Aug 2003


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Cleo_Serapis
post Mar 2 04, 18:24
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Wow Daniel!

This is GREAT! I can't believe I missed this one until now! :(

~Cleo


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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Cleo_Serapis
post Mar 2 04, 18:25
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In Fields of Green

In fields of green the clover grow
between the flakes of fallen snow,
that rest upon a glistened sight
the eyes of March shall so delight,
the birth of Springtime’s tinted glow.

Hold fast to hope; winter’s let go
of icy grip on roots below,
to rest in hibernation’s night
in fields of green.

It’s time to wake the hungry crow
for March arrives, and flowers grow,
among the flakes of melting white
in clover’s crops of sprawling might
where seeds of  love and life will sow
in fields of green.

© 2004 Lorraine M Kanter
All rights reserved as an unpublished work


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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Cleo_Serapis
post Mar 14 04, 12:18
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irish.gif In Fields of Gold  irish.gif  

In fields of gold, the tulips sing
refrains of rebirths infant Spring,
a dance of daffodils unfold
and lean to Iceland poppies hold
on hibernation’s bygone cling.

A dawn of Dwarf Iris offspring
lend laughter to an Irish fling
as leprechauns of March enfold
in fields of gold.

Old Emerald isle legends bring
a patron saint with shamrock ring
whose blessings are forever told;
corned beef and cabbage, meals of old
lend truth to Springtime laughter’s zing
in fields of gold.

© 2004 Lorraine M Kanter


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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Guest_Cathy_*
post Nov 16 04, 11:57
Post #6





Guest






~O'er Meadows Green~    
 by Cathy Bollhoefer

O'er meadows green unicorns graze,
blue skies above, the sun's ablaze.
A fairytale dragon on wings does fly
and bumble bees adrift on a sigh,
seeking nectar in the floral maze.

Pegasus soar in winged display
illuminated by sun's bright rays,
amongst the clouds, oh so high
o'er meadows green.

Amidst the flowers a ladybug plays,
offering nature abundant praise
for the luscious array, petals shy
that open wide to please the eye,
a beauty that will truly amaze
o'er meadows green.

copyright Nov2004  Cathy Bollhoefer
All rights reserved as an unpublished work


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jgdittier
post Dec 3 04, 10:18
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Dear Dan, Cleo, Cathy,
These rondeaus are fun, aren't they? Up to recently I knew of neither the rondeau nor of the swap quatrain except for "Flander's".
I think I could enjoy reading a whole chapbook of them, especially if they're of your quality.
Cheers,    jgd


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jgdittier
post Dec 3 04, 10:33
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The rondeau speaks with rolling pace,
With beat and rhyme we all embrace.
Its kissin' cousin, "quatrain swap",
Inversion out, this po'm's a flop!
No, neither one would I erase.

I fear sometimes that I write base,
But if my words are no disgrace
On either one I'd claim as "top",
The rondeau speaks.

But so do S. Q's. state their case
And they are equal in my race.
The beat for both, a hop and plop
And coupled rhymes they sometimes swap.
Though sonnets be the poet's "all",
The rondeau speaks.


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JustDaniel
post Feb 15 05, 14:54
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I see I'd missed some fun rollicking through the fields with y'all...

so here's a little lamb engaged in it, while...

Pulling Wool Over Ewe’s Eyes

A lamb who lies around all day
complaining that the shepherd may
not be quite right to lead the flock
and fills the fields with his trash talk
does not see his own disarray.

He wanders off to find a way
to spend his time in foolish play.
"Baa, humbug," he. "This troupe's a crock."
A lamb who lies...

to his own self that he’s okay,
turns black and white to shades of grey,
diverts attention with his mock
of other sheep; he loves to knock
their good... becomes, through growing fray,
a lamb who lies.

© Daniel J Ricketts 15 Feb 2005


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jgdittier
post Feb 19 05, 07:59
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Dear Daniel,
I believe I commented on this one elsewhere. To repeat what I said there, I like rondeaus!

I love this verse a rondeau fills
demanding all poetic skills,
as well as concepts of the soul.
The bards alone we should extol.
The best of thought the bard instills.

No poetry is borne by pills,
no depth of feeling's in mere frills.
Let mastery fill bardian bowl.
I love this verse.

Though poetry won't pay my bills
and skeptics laugh and give me chills.
To entertain I've set my goal
and I have words to sate a scroll,
because with wisdom my heart fills.
I love this verse!


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JustDaniel
post Jul 20 05, 12:36
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...and I love this verse too, Ron!  Thanks for the read, immensely.

Cathy's comments in the crit forum brought me back here again and prompted me to write another.  I'd actually started to write it about rondeau as you did, but I was diverted along the way and have gone a totally different direction.

I do hope it makes some sense.  I've abandoned the more common Iambic Tetrameter of the English version and resorted to IP in this one:

What’s the Rush

Rush more?... or bust a gut to carve a place
of prominence, where all can see your face
held high through storms of conflict, winds of change,
long nights of loneliness out on the range,
where bright stars wink, yet urge you slow the pace?

Why all the hurry? Will not time efface
accomplishments and glory, e’en erase
your scribbled memos? Shout, if you’re deranged
“Rushmore or bust!”

Your life-book’s written — not your works, but grace
He’s lavished on you as you’ve run your race
afoul, unkempt with unattended mange;
He’s nudging you: slow down and rearrange
your goals; enjoy the sights; anew embrace,
“Rushmore or bust!”


© MLee Dickens’son 20 July 2005


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Guest_Cathy_*
post Jul 20 05, 14:41
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Hey Daniel!

We live in such a fast-paced life that we need to be
reminded to slow down.  I like this and the meter!  LOL

Cathy
 
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jgdittier
post Jul 20 05, 14:46
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Dear Daniel,
Your adding that twist re Rushmore/rush more makes it difficult to post something after yours! Truly a priceless piece you have there.

A Punditty Rondeau

Much fun the pun when once it's spoke,
the lowest form of verser's joke...
I'd rush no more to fire its glow
and use it here but yet, although,
I fear I know I will provoke

a reader, who like other folk
will say "your head is there to soak",
despite the fact that this is so,
much fun the pun.

A little fun I just might poke,
if I remove this self thought yoke.
If on your face I would bestow,
a smile and laugh to you might flow.
It's too late now, it's my last stroke!
Much fun the pun...






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Cleo_Serapis
post Jul 23 05, 07:35
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Well done Ron!

A loving lovie.gif tribute!

~Cleo arwen.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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JustDaniel
post Jul 26 05, 10:25
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hmmm, well!

That deserves a riposte, Ron...

and please note that my tongue is lodged firmly in my cheek!


A Tribute, This?

A tribute, this of me you’ve writ
proclaiming pun’s unworthy wit?
that it’s the lowest kind of joke?
So is it true that poet folk
attribute this to so much spit?

To play with words, I love to sit
with pen in hand, I must admit,
but am I but a bumblin’ bloke?
A tribute, this?

Attribute to my words a bit
of savvy here and there; admit
that fact.  It would not make you choke!
Perhaps you’ll find my smile to cloak
wry wisdom parceled bit by bit.
Ya think ya could… (if yes, do it)
…attribute this?

© Daniel J Ricketts 26 July 2005


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JustDaniel
post May 24 06, 17:03
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In Waiting Rooms

In waiting rooms you have no clue
what scenes your bouncing orbs may view,
strange squeaks or snorts your ears may hear
nor to which germs you're drawing near…
how your longsuffering slips, askew.

Kids suck on magazines or spew
on chairs and toys while Mother stews
with them… but can’t get off her rear
in waiting rooms.

I look away and write to you
or try to sleep… but it's a zoo;
in comes a guy who's slipped a gear,
disoriented in each sphere...
Big Momma's sweetie's turning blue
in waiting rooms.

© MLee Dickens'son 24 May 2006


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Cleo_Serapis
post May 25 06, 05:32
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QUOTE (JustDaniel @ May 24 06, 18:03 ) *
In Waiting Rooms

In waiting rooms you have no clue
what scenes your bouncing orbs may view,


Well versed Daniel! thumbsup.gif

I especially enjoyed the opening because it makes me think of all the things I see whilst waiting for the "We're ready Lorraine" comment in the waiting room for my radiation treatments.

goodjob.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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JustDaniel
post Jul 14 06, 10:59
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When You See Rhyme

When you see rhyme, you think I’d be
a better poet writing free
of meter? Even when I’m beat,
a rhythm stirs my aching feet
to tap, old joints to sway; you see?

It’s part of you; it’s part of me,
not merely sing-song. Give some lee-
way to its flow; don’t self-defeat
when you see rhyme.

Don’t shove the ancient forms asea
or waterlog my poetry
dismissing it before you greet
its art or wit or wry conceit
enfolding wisdom. That’s my plea
when you see rhyme.

© MLee Dickens'son 14 July 2006


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Cleo_Serapis
post Jul 14 06, 11:27
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QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Jul 14 06, 11:59 ) *
Don’t shove the ancient forms asea *Here here!
or waterlog my poetry
dismissing it before you greet
its art or wit or wry conceit *I'll take the 'arts' any day!
enfolding wisdom. That’s my plea
when you see rhyme.


Well done Daniel! hsdance.gif

I do adore this form very much! Guitar.gif I've noted the message I see in this above.

Cheers
~Cleo Pharoah.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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JustDaniel
post Jul 16 06, 15:03
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Thanks, Lori...

and here's one I've been kicking around since this morning:

It’s easier to disappear
than face some conflict that I fear…
ignore a force that’s crushing me…
imagine that my life is free
inside a place where I can’t hear

the din or feel the atmosphere
of pain, or taste a salty tear,
hid snug beneath my willow tree.
It’s easier.

Reality, alas, has reared
its head, its teeth, blood-dripping beard
repeating, What will be will be…
Alive with hope against its sea
I’ll stand with you to watch it veer.
It’s easier.

© MLee Dickens'son 16 July 2006



Not quite ready to release for crit... but hammerin' away, Daniel vic.gif


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