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Posted on: Nov 11 08, 17:41 |
Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 69
Joined: 24-February 05
From: Houma, LA
Member No.: 101
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Hi everyone I have embarked upon a mission to help raise money for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. This is the worlds largest voluntary health organization dedicated to funding blood cancer research, education, and patient services. Their goals are to promote increased federal funding of biomedical research, and to influence health care reform issues including ready access to quality cancer care, insurance coverage of patient care, and Medicare coverage for anti-cancer drugs, just to name a few. In order to help raise funds, I am participating in a half-marathon through an organization called Team in Training. This organization exists to benefit The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Since 1988, more than 380,000 volunteer participants have helped raise more than 900 million dollars! I have 5 months to get ready for the race and let me tell you, I will need EVERY one of those months! I normally run about 4 miles, so 13.1 is not gonna be easy. Especially in March, on the oceanfront-yikes!! The core of any volunteer program is committed participants and donations. I'm hoping that some of you out there may want to make a tax deductible donation to help find a cure. I've met some of the local cancer survivors as well as those currently battling this disease and each time I do, I am humbled and amazed all over again. I think I have a hard task--running 13 miles- but it is NOTHING compared to what these men, women and children are going through every single day. Please help me make a difference! You can click the link below to donate, even $5 helps. 100% of the proceeds go to benefit cancer research and you'll be able to receive an immediate receipt that you can use for tax purposes. Please feel free to ask me if you have any questions. Here is the link: http://pages.teamintraining.org/va/shamrock09/lconselyeaThanks! leigh ann |
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Forum: Member Announcements -> Basilica
· Post Preview: #111655
· Replies: 2
· Views: 4,038
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Posted on: Oct 2 08, 14:01 |
Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 69
Joined: 24-February 05
From: Houma, LA
Member No.: 101
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Lori and Steve, Many thanks for your comments. Lori-I appreciate the punctuation policing!! it needed it I've taken a little bit from both of your comments, as well as removing the reference to fire, that really never belonged here to begin with. Once I decide what to replace it with, I'll post a revision. y'all are awesome, I've missed hanging out here |
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Forum: ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
· Post Preview: #110945
· Replies: 11
· Views: 3,892
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Posted on: Oct 1 08, 21:26 |
Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 69
Joined: 24-February 05
From: Houma, LA
Member No.: 101
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whew..the revision was a long time in the making and it still doesn't quite "gell" for me. I do think it's an improvement. At any rate, it is revised :-)
Revision
Silence--
no warm golden glow, cradling your heart in it’s grasp, to provide unrelenting peace
Instead, the cerulean of an empty sky, devoid of clouds, planes, hope; the azure wall of nothing that rushes past your ears when you stand alone. or the grey blue tinge of a freshly bruised soul.
Finite sounds, infinite spaces, shining blue-white like moonlight, cold brittle steel slicing through, the razor sharp quietness of the air.
In the rush of nothingness, transcend, reach heretofore unassailable places.
Climb, climb steadily into the void, reaching into your soul, feeling the icy bite of
Silence.
Original: Silence
No warm golden glow, Cradling your heart in it’s grasp, Providing unrelenting peace
Instead, the cerulean of an empty sky, devoid of clouds, planes, hope; the azure wall of nothing that rushes past your ears when you stand alone. or the grey blue tinge of a fresh bruise on your soul.
Finite sounds, infinite spaces, shining blue-white like moonlight, Suggestive of the purifying heat of fire, the razor sharp quietness of the air.
In the rush of nothingness, transcend, reaching heretofore unassailable places.
Climb, climb steadily into the void, reaching into your soul, feeling the icy bite of
Silence |
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Forum: ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
· Post Preview: #110926
· Replies: 11
· Views: 3,892
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Posted on: Oct 1 08, 21:18 |
Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 69
Joined: 24-February 05
From: Houma, LA
Member No.: 101
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Hi Shelly,
Like a few others who have already commented, I like the idea that this is several poems, intertwined. Although I've always found sonnets difficult to compose, I really liked John's comparison to the Shanks piece....it might be interesting to try that with this. Even it you ultimately do not end up with a true sonnet, incorporating the "voice" throughout might make this into something truly remarkable.
With all that said, this is a very original piece. Intriguing, and worth another look. I am definitely going to read this several more times, it seems to be more and more captivating with each read. |
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Forum: ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
· Post Preview: #110925
· Replies: 9
· Views: 3,157
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Posted on: Jun 26 07, 16:11 |
Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 69
Joined: 24-February 05
From: Houma, LA
Member No.: 101
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Hi Ldoone,
Interesting piece here. I have always liked the concept of duende, and I think you used it well here. I immediately understood the struggle going on. The only part I felt did not quite fit was this stanza:
The artist rustles the branches, living flesh, responds by dancing away from reality, to new landscapes, unfamiliar accents A thousand different sensations.
For some reason, it feels to me like this breaks up the poem, like a bump in the road that you wish wasn't there. I think the poem would be better without it. Again,that's just my opinion, feel free to totally ignore it!!
Other than that, I think you definitely have something here and I am interested to see what other comments you may get.
Thanks for sharing |
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Forum: ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
· Post Preview: #98804
· Replies: 3
· Views: 2,231
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Posted on: May 25 07, 07:44 |
Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 69
Joined: 24-February 05
From: Houma, LA
Member No.: 101
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Hi Lori,
Thanks, it's good to be back :-) I hope to spend more time here in the future.
Since both you and Merlin asked about the last stanza, I've included it here. I just felt it was trite and, well, kinda lame!!! I know this particular poem does not follow any particular structure, which is unusal because in rhymed verse, I usually stick to the more rigid forms. But this was written on-the-fly and then put aside. Please feel free to suggest anything-I'm open to any and all comments, positive or negative.
Here's how the last stanza read:
Now these scars I bear will forever be a token, a living witness to words never spoken. |
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Forum: ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
· Post Preview: #96631
· Replies: 8
· Views: 6,903
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