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July 2007 IBPC Nominations, August Comp |
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Jul 8 07, 13:30
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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I'd like to nominate Michelle's All the Wile currently posted in Herme's Homilies for critique. I enjoyed the fresh subject, word choices and form very much and would like to see this one achieve a wider audience. Cheers ~Cleo All the Wile by Michelle
By day they masquerade in saccharine smiles while feigning pleasantries. With practiced guile they plant their schemes and brazenly parade in saccharine smiles. By day, they masquerade.
When sunlight rests, those imps and fiends convene unmasked, to dance a dervish round their Queen Malevolence. They act on her behest, those imps-- and fiends convene when sunlight rests.
With spouting sparks they sharpen trident spears to prod when whispers fail to hold an ear. Licentious prater permeates the dark. They sharpen trident spears with spouting sparks.
Before I knew the sun, I romped at night by firelight. Then, privy to their rites, my shriveled heart was black yet weighed a ton; I romped at night before I knew the sun.
Beware of covert brotherhoods and pacts, of accusations made without the facts. The average person dozes unaware of covert brotherhoods and pacts. Beware!
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jul 8 07, 13:40
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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I'd like to nominate If... by Judi currently posted in Herme's Homilies for critique. There's something about the soft rhythms in this that create a calming, serene state of being (for me). Not to mention, it begs the question, if we could have a 'do-over' would it be the same or would we change anything in our lives? Food for thought! If... by Judi
The latticed-look of snow-filled limbs against a winter sky. A tinge of arctic air that blows with such a mournful cry. Those cabarets in France where lovers posture in their games, the ocean's changing tides that show no days are quite the same.
How sudden glints of sunlight will remind us of a prayer, a mother's gentle murmuring, no love can quite compare. Red roses that a lover places gently on the bed, the joyfulness of ecstasy, and love for those we wed.
If we could live life over would we plan it just the same? I know we'd need more happy times, less discontent and pain. I pray someday my life will change before my time to go, with many sweet new memories that only God can know.
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jul 8 07, 13:56
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Group: Bronze Member
Posts: 544
Joined: 3-May 07
From: Central Florida
Member No.: 427
Real Name: Judith Labriola
Writer of: Poetry
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QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Jul 8 07, 14:40 ) I'd like to nominate If... by Judi currently posted in Herme's Homilies for critique. There's something about the soft rhythms in this that create a calming, serene state of being (for me). Not to mention, it begs the question, if we could have a 'do-over' would it be the same or would we change anything in our lives? Food for thought! Thanks so very much for your comments...they are much appreciated!!! Judi
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Jul 10 07, 20:34
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Judi requested that I put in her nomination for Jaxmyth's poem. She is thrilled with the excellence of the poem and it's originality. I also believe there are several members who gladly second this choice.! GREAT CHOICE JUDI! and GREAT POEM JAN!!!! ... A Grunt with No Name by JaxMyth
The Calf is mouthing verdigris. The Bitch of Rome is unimpressed. Expressing her mortality Britannia lifts and points her breast...
I met a soldier in a tree-less land, who said:- "Once I rode upon a white horse. Then the rain and wind had soft hands and each day was glory come to visit. Milk and honey seeped into my bones and I was the Paladin and Saviour of all.
Now, I spend my nights in a savage land each eye wracked by skeins of pale skin. My brothers lie as broken pieces and I stand watch wasted in the sand.
The rubble drizzles dust and men. I try to breathe and hold myself tall but all I hear is the sound of nails on wood and hatred hammers down my hands and feet."
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Jul 12 07, 09:58
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 532
Joined: 4-September 03
From: Northwest Coast
Member No.: 29
Writer of: Poetry
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The Captive by Nada LottWe crouched upon the forest floor in rapt anticipation. Comrades and conspirators, we manned our secret station. The object of our scrutiny was cleverly disguised: a simple trap my Daddy had ingeniously devised. A small round metal washpan was propped up like a lid upon a stick from which a string led back to where we hid. Beneath the pan, some bread crumbs were scattered temptingly to lure some trusting creature into captivity. A little bright-eyed chipmunk came sniffing at the bait. My fingers trembled eagerly but Daddy whispered, "Wait." Suspended in the stillness of the mountains' magic sway, I held my breath as, silently, we watched our timid prey. At last the chipmunk ventured in; the moment had arrived! I pulled the string and sprung the trap so cunningly contrived. I bolted up. "We got him!" I squealed in pure delight, "ll take him home to be my pet. He'll sleep with me at night!" Would Daddy spoil my moment with a bossy "No, you can't?" The subtle way he handled me took on a different slant. He put his arm around me and, in a gentle voice, began to talk about some things that might affect my choice. That morning at the chipmunk home this scene might have occurred, and here's the conversation we might have overheard: "Oh, Mother, what a lovely day! May I go in the woods and play? A little girl named Mary Kay is camping there along the way. I want to visit her to say I'm glad she came and hope she'll stay. Your fondest wish I will obey, but please, please Mother, say I may." "Now, son, I told you long ago, you've got to learn to take it slow when meeting strangers -- you don't know if you've encountered friend or foe. But Mary Kay sounds nice, and so I guess it's all right if you go. Don't give me cause for worry, though. Be home before the sun is low." He then described the mother as she stood out by the gate to call her kids to supper, but the youngest one was late. And even at that moment, unaware of what we'd done, the frantic chipmunk mother would be searching for her son. Before he got the last words out I felt so mean and low, with teardrops streaming down my face I hollered, "LET HIM GO!" * * * As we released our little friend, I'm sure my dad suppressed a grin. The maestro knew that, once again, he'd played me like a violin. I thank the Lord for giving me a father wise enough to see the greatest gifts will ever be those offered voluntarily.
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Jul 12 07, 12:23
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Hi Michelle - This is an excellent nomination! I would like to second it and give you CHEERS for getting this up and nominated!
Hugs, Liz
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Jul 12 07, 12:44
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,621
Joined: 18-August 05
From: Johannesburg, South Africa
Member No.: 127
Real Name: Beverleigh Gail Annegarn
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Jox
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Thank you for the trip into blissful youth!
What a lovely poem!
PP
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Jul 14 07, 07:16
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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I think this is wonderful piece - Eric conveys theatrical 'drama' with his word choices and rhythms. I can visualize the scene of a theatre and the cast playing out, and while the focus is on them, I like how he lead us to the person watching - his thoughts drifting to a lost love and then the closing couplet, summarizing the loss of both time and her. Even though we so not know the background, I sense the loss too. Nocturne by Merlin
He sits and watches clouds as they perform their evening romp in rouge and twilight masks; these casts of thespians accomplish tasks, dispensing scenes a cut above the norm. In phantom blue, a hazy castle looms, a shadow figment filled with youthful dreams like Ludwig's Schwanstein, built from welkin schemes, while breakers' ebbing surf dispels his gloom. His thoughts find wings and drift off on their own to Jennifer, the love he left behind in Winnipeg; she still torments his mind despite untallied seasons. Time has flown.
A nightbird's call disrupts his reverie but cannot grant his wish to set him free.
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jul 15 07, 07:51
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Group: Bronze Member
Posts: 600
Joined: 14-April 07
From: Texas Hill Country
Member No.: 420
Real Name: Mary Boren
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Kathy Earsman
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Thank you very much, ladies, for the encouragement about this poem. Michelle, I'm deeply honored by the nomination, and pleased beyond measure that you were touched by the story. In looking at the kind of poetry they favor, though, I'm declining consideration for IBPC. It's one of my first poems that, for sentimental reasons, I don't plan to polish. Should it by any chance be selected to represent MM, I feel it would be like throwing a lamb to a pack of wolves. Some things are just too tender to expose to the elements. I hope you understand.
Mary
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Jul 15 07, 08:01
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Thanks Mary for your reply. I'll make a note in the title, "humbly declined" if that's ok with you. Perhaps Michelle will consider nominating this for our 'internal' MM award - the Faery? Faery Awards can be nominated by any member of MM at any time. These are awarded to those tiles that best capture our muses in some way. The how-to & nomination thread is located here in our Valley of the Kings (click this link) member recognition forum as a sticky topic. I also have a link to it in my signature on posts. ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jul 15 07, 10:58
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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I really enjoyed this poem and the metaphors within (as well as the rhythm and rhymes) as well as the visual presentaion. I am touched by each re-read of this poem and its message. VVVVV
With invisible wings we fly.
You and I lift like birds in formation.
As the weak may fall we heed the call; strong we’ll be to keep our V in victory.
Together we breathe - synchronized, harmonized, energized as season meets season.
Freedom's power calls hour by hour; we defend strength in unison. With invisible wings
we fly, we fly, we fly.
We rush. Hear the lift of wings? Our spirit soulfully sings. Together we rush, hush, embrace with honor, freedom, our greatest gift.
VVVVV
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jul 15 07, 13:41
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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I'd like to nominate 'Tricolor Pride' by Cathy for it's undying message . A poignant poem! Tricolor Pride by Cathy
Revised:
Tricolor Pride ~ Revision 2
She flies for freedom; off'ring choice to listen to the homeland voice in proof through... night... our flag's still there...* with strength and glory all can share.
Although she's slightly battle-worn from bullet holes and cutlass scorn, word-whipped until her hem-edge curls by mean-mouthed, uncouth, sadist churls;
she's softened by a mother's tears and strengthened by a father's fears... in solace for the ones who've cried to honor loved ones who have died.
Still she survives, beliefs opined. Historical events enshrined she waves her stars and stripes in hope that others draw within her scope.
Her stitches, sewn by loving hands, withstand the rigor of demands to bind our nation's future fast against a terroristic caste.
We soldiers, armed with loyalty and hearts that yearn to be kept free, together charge the battlefield to fight with might; we'll never yield.
We'll carry her with fervent vows and tend her wounds when time allows. Her cause may often be denied, yet faith unfurled... she flies with pride.
* A line from The Star Spangled Banner
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ She flies for freedom; off'ring choice to listen to the homeland voice in proof through... night... our flag's still there... with strength and glory all can share.
Although she's slightly battle-worn from bullet holes and cutlass scorn, word-whipped until her hem-edge curls by mean-mouthed, uncouth, sadist churls;
she's softened by a mother's tears and strengthened by a father's fears... sad comfort for the ones who've cried to honor loved ones who have died.
Still she survives, beliefs opined. Historical events enshrined she waves her stars and stripes in hope that others draw within her scope.
Her stitches, sewn by loving hands, withstand the rigor of demands to bind our nation's future fast against a terroristic caste.
We soldiers, armed with loyalty and hearts that yearn to be kept free, together charge the battlefield to fight with might; we'll never yield.
We'll carry her with fervent vows and tend her wounds when time allows. Her cause may often be denied, yet faith unfurled... she flies with pride.
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Jul 15 07, 21:44
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 532
Joined: 4-September 03
From: Northwest Coast
Member No.: 29
Writer of: Poetry
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You know Mary, I understand completely. This poem, though, is my all time favorite work of a living poet. It is genuine poetry, imo.
I hope you wouldn't mind if I nominate it for the Faery Award that Cleo pointed out? I also understand either way, my small world is enriched by it.
Thank you for sharing it.
my best,
Michelle
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Jul 16 07, 07:58
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Group: Bronze Member
Posts: 600
Joined: 14-April 07
From: Texas Hill Country
Member No.: 420
Real Name: Mary Boren
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Kathy Earsman
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Thanks for your understanding, Michelle. The Faery Award nomination would thrill me, as have your words of kindness.
Mary
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Guest_Cathy_*
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Jul 16 07, 08:17
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Guest
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Are you the original author of this poem? Yes
Has this poem ever been published? No
Has this poem been nominated by any other participating board (of IBPC)? No
Has this poem been reviewed as "best and final" to assure the latest revision is judged? Yes
Is your email address on file up to date (what is it)? Yes
Do you accept the nomination to submit the work (if selected to represent MM)? Yes... with many thanks!
If yes to above question, what is your real name? Cathy Bollhoefer
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Jul 18 07, 14:55
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Group: Bronze Member
Posts: 544
Joined: 3-May 07
From: Central Florida
Member No.: 427
Real Name: Judith Labriola
Writer of: Poetry
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"Congratulations, Cathy,
I know how deeply these words are etched in your heart, from one Marine (grand)Parent to another. Judi
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Jul 21 07, 08:10
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Jan has asked us to defer this one for the moment. He'll back again soon....
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Guest_Cathy_*
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Jul 29 07, 10:50
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Guest
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QUOTE (Judi @ Jul 18 07, 15:55 ) "Congratulations, Cathy,
I know how deeply these words are etched in your heart, from one Marine (grand)Parent to another. Judi I am so sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your message! I know that you understand my feelings for this one and I thank you! I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts~ Cathy
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Guest_Cathy_*
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Jul 29 07, 10:52
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Guest
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Thanks all! I appreciate your votes and the faith in this particular poem. It's been revised and is ready to go!
Cathy
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Jul 29 07, 15:22
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Congratulations Cathy - The poem is beautiful and I am so excited to see it go to IBPC!
Hugs, Liz
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