 Escape from Routine (Revision Three 18.06.08), FV - I NEED THOUGHTS ON FINAL REVISION |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011  |
 Apr 25 10, 18:59
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#21
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori  |
As I had no feedback on the final tweaking of this I would appreciate any thoughts
Snow 
·······  ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner            |
  
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May 2 10, 23:59
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#22
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 Ornate Oracle Posts: 8,865 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
Hi Eisa! It's the first time I've seen this poem, so I need to think about it a little. You've had so many helpful suggestions and even made 2 revs, that I'm sure to crit somebody else's useful pointers without realising. Perhaps I better return and not read the whole thread, just nit here & there hoping nobody takes offense! I see that the comments ended in 2008.. That said, it's a beautiful piece and I love the way you've alternated between past & present, even tho' the narrator finds it hard not to reminisce and needs to be shaken back to reality. Congrats, I'll be back asap. Syl*** ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner      |
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May 3 10, 05:35
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#23
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Mosaic Master Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
QUOTE (Psyche @ May 3 10, 05:59 )  Hi Eisa! It's the first time I've seen this poem, so I need to think about it a little. You've had so many helpful suggestions and even made 2 revs, that I'm sure to crit somebody else's useful pointers without realising. Perhaps I better return and not read the whole thread, just nit here & there hoping nobody takes offense! I see that the comments ended in 2008.. That said, it's a beautiful piece and I love the way you've alternated between past & present, even tho' the narrator finds it hard not to reminisce and needs to be shaken back to reality. Congrats, I'll be back asap. Syl*** Hi Syl It's so good to see you here. Yes, this was completed in 2008 and I thought I'd done the final revision when someone suggested it needed a few more reminiscences - which I did. But then no one commented on the final tweaking, so I thought I'd like some opinions, before I can say 'Finished! LOL! I'd be glad to hear your thoughts. Snow
······· ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner |
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