 Spoken from the cerebral ** Revision 2 |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren's Synapse
 Apr 2 16, 07:35
Post
#1
|
|
 Assyrian  Posts: 256 Joined: 2-November 15 From: Croydon, Surrey Member No.: 5,284 Real Name: Antony Glaser Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Eira Rhaposdy  |
REVISION 2
Succumbing to an unknown ailment I have finally addressed my fears by talking to ant hills almost as an equal , sometimes more of late. I feel overcome walking in the city; ozone clouds preside as if by the seaside. I cannot tell if my dreams are informing me with their virtual impress, marking me for process into this duality. REVISION Succumbing to an unknown ailment I have finally addressed my fears almost as an equal , sometimes more of late. I feel overcome walking in the city; into ozone clouds as if by the seaside. I cannot tell if my dreams are informing me with their virtual impress marking me for process into this duality. ORIGINAL Succumbing to an unknown ailment I have finally addressed my fears almost as an equal , sometimes more of late. I feel aspirated walking in the city; into ozone clouds as if by the seaside. I cannot tell if my dreams are informing me with their virtual impress marking me for process into this duality. ·······  ·······Imagination fires the soul, resolution the longing.
|
  
|
|
Posts in this topic
greenwich Spoken from the cerebral ** Revision 2 Apr 2 16, 07:35 
Psyche Good one, Antony. A bit hermetic, for me, but I th... Apr 2 16, 17:42 greenwich Thank you Syl. I had intended aspirated to be the ... Apr 2 16, 18:18 Psyche Very good revision. Nothing else to nit or questio... Apr 6 16, 02:34 
Critter Good to see the revision process here. At this poi... Apr 28 16, 01:19 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
  |
|
Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 10th May 2024 - 00:51 |
Read our FLYERS - click below
|
| more Quotes |
| ||
|
|
|
|
