(Kind reader; this impromptu poem is meant to be humorous. Although not yet complete, at this point I would like to know if it has any merits or should be abandoned. My wife laughs at it--which can be good--or bad.)

My Don Juan Fantasy

Signora Inez made this cloak
for her son, the great seducer:
Don Juan. The garment served
that rascal well; for its producer,

his mother, stitched on magic braids
that no fair lady could resist;
some hundreds in Italia, Francia,
Germania were on his list.

Fine conquests all; in Hispania
alone--this mantle worked so well,
he tallied one thousand and three
old matrons, plus the comely belle.

His sword's keen point came in quite handy
in driving off an objecting mate
or seriously enraged suitors
(who arrived quite mad, but always late).

But now, his cloak--his sword are mine--
its well-shaped grip, the blade elastic,
that glistening guard in silvery sheen--
all entirely made of plastic--

and not the famous Toledo steel.
“On guard,” I say, “advance; retreat;
deux appels . . . attack!” And now he flees--
“Do you, sir knave, concede defeat?”

What woman would refuse the man
who’d fought so well to conquer her?
I pause to stroke my wavy hair
(what’s left), but then I hear a stir:

“Take off that silly, silly cape,”
my own fair lady behind me spoke,
and I remove the seventeenth
century Mardi Gras-ball cloak

long overdue at Sid Luigi’s
Costume Shop, since 30 years ago;
I place it in the trunk filled with
some props I'll save for my next show.

I for one enjoyed your rhyming tale so far Jerry, and trust you'll finish it?
Although I do believe you've given away the punch line already!
I too am guilty of writing some of my own poems in a like manner: keeping the reader engrossed and entirely going
down the wrong road, until that all important disclosure at the end!
Nice to read lines that have a rhythm and decent rhyming pattern. Simple but effective.
Well that's my thoughts for what they're worth. Some may not agree but that's will be their problem! Keep going!
Ciao Rhymer.

Hi there, Rhymer;
thanks for the visit; well, not too many readers will have a problem with your assessment because it is very quiet here. I haven't yet decided what to do with this particular write because it is a quirky notion that I pursued, something that had it's origin in a find as I perused my attic space. Let's say, this poem is a narrative, and something that I might yet revise--or simply set aside. As you know, not everything is worthy of preservation, lol, but to be fair to myself, I'll post it on another forum and see what the reaction might be. Meanwhile, thanks for reading and commenting. It's good to see you,
Jerry

Hi Jerry,

I enjoyed your sense of humour here, which made me smile. It really seems already finished to me, but if you decide to make any changes I'll look forward to reading again.

Snow

Hi there, Snow;
thanks for looking into my write. I must have been in a silly mood when I wrote this account of the Don. Down the road I may tinker with these verses, but at the moment they are no longer on my priority list. Now I look at this poem as an amusing sketch--but nothing of lasting value. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Jerry

Hi Jerry!

I've had a good laugh with your Don Juan fantasy, expressed in simple rhyme and rhythm.

Very effective and with a trickster's twist at the end...LOL...

You can't remove it from MM now, because all your fans will be very angry! Do tell us how it has fared in other forums.

Great to see you posting, hope to follow suit presently,

Cheers,
Syl***

Hi there, Syl;
how nice to see ya again! How the heck have ya been? I check in about once every couple day--just to see what's happening on this site. I'm glad you got something out of my write. To answer your question--yes, I'd posted it on another site (TPS) where this write (and others) drew some nice comments that now encouraged me to self-publish all my poems and prose. At my age (80) it's time to collect my writings and present them to family and friends. All's well here at my end and I hope you are doing okay? Thanks for commenting, and I hope to see you again, soon. Be well,
Jerry