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> Trois-par-Huit (Three-by-Eight) Octa-Tri, New form by Cleo
Cleo_Serapis
post Dec 5 04, 10:19
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Hi all.  wave.gif

I've just created this new poetic form today. I am dubbing it Trois-par-Huit (Three-by-Eight or Octa-Tri). It  is a poem containing 8 lines, displayed visually with three stanzas of either tercet, tercet, couplet  (3, 3, 2) OR tercet, couplet, tercet (3, 2, 3) as follows;


1. The title is also the final line.

The line length requirements:
Line 1 ~ 3 syllables
Line 2 ~ 6 syllables
Line 3 ~ 9 syllables

Lines 4 & 5 ~ 12 syllables

Line 6 ~ 9 syllables
Line 7 ~ 6 syllables
Line 8 ~ 3 syllables (is the title and summarizes the meaning of the poem)

The rhyme scheme requirements:
Line 1. A
Line 2. A
Line 3. B
Line 4. B
Line 5. B
Line 6. C
Line 7. C
Line 8. C

Give it a try!


~Cleo  Snowflake.gif

UPDATE: Daniel has dubbed the form: Trois-par-Huit (Three-by-Eight) and I've just changed the stanza alignment to 3/2/3 as well....

Nature's King


The firs rise
touching star-twinkled skies
standing vigil o’er evening’s glow

wrapped in sparkling charms of glitter gold, ashen snow
embraces kisses of crimson berries below

where silvery cherubs dance and sing
…symbols of joy to bring
Nature’s King.



© 2004 Lorraine M Kanter






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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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JustDaniel
post Dec 6 04, 00:33
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Dear Cleo:

I love your significant variation of a Huitain, and this specific piece is sparkling!  I'd only suggest a semi-colon after 'gold' or capitalizing 'Wrapped' -- to avoid a run-on.

~ ~ ~


May I please offer a suggestion for a name for this new form, since I think that yours is somewhat misleading...

Since trimeter in poetry specifically refers to meter (three feet per line)...

and since Huitain is a French verse-form coming from the 15th and early 16th Centuries - an eight-line stanza with 8 or 10 syllables in each line, often iambic. Very similar to yours, it was written with three rhymes, but one utilized four times, and there were a number of rhyme schemes, like ababbcbc and abbaacac, and Un huitain enlace, or an enclosed huitain which had a rhyme scheme of aabaabcc...

and since you vary from the typical iambic feet, I'd suggest you call your Huitain variation something like: "Trois-par-Huit" or "Three-by-Eight"

respecting your Light, Daniel  sun.gif

Trois-par-Huit

Two tercets
piece with single couplet
to constitute an eight-line verse-form

graduating from three to twelve ticks… to perform
a pirouette, descending back to three…  in warm

inter-rhymes that describe and repeat
its title in one sweet
Trois-par-Huit


© Daniel J Ricketts 06 Dec 2004





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Cleo_Serapis
post Dec 6 04, 04:44
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Hello Daniel!  sun.gif

That is an excellent suggestion for the name of this new form! I will use it ~ thankies so much!

Will edit the title of this thread now....

Your addition is TRULY
"one sweet
Trois-par-Huit"
dance.gif  holly.gif  dove.gif  blueorn.gif  sings.gif

Thanks so much!
~Cleo  Pharoah.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Guest_Jox_*
post Dec 6 04, 07:29
Post #4





Guest






Ref: MB !-204 AB
Copyright.
To all - NB The syllable count works for me - but I pronounce things strangely. If you're not happy I'll set the bugs on you.




Hi Lori, Daniel (Thanks Daniel!) et al...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/ilove/tv/quatermass/

The invaders' embryos were stuck deep under London streets in their UFO - which escaped detection when crashing through the pavements because it was thought to be a ear-time bomb. (I hope I have that right!). The snow is my addition. The key to the Quatermass sci-fi is that these aliens are actually a different thread from our ancestors who developed differently. They look like ants but might even be our uncles. Wwwwhhhoooo...

Prof Bernard Quatermass and his discoveries gripped Britain's new tv audience of the 1950s/60s. The link, above has clips and lots of Quatermass junkie stuff.

This was terrible to post - the words kept eeriely disappearing. What you see is actually a picture-link to my web site. But I'll try posting again direct via text on ikonboard (where this was created).

James.
 
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JustDaniel
post Dec 6 04, 07:52
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Whew!  

I'm so pleased that you took my suggestion, LorII... since I had already introduced it in my one-form-per-day (30 day) challnge in Poetic Voices!  dance.gif  I did, however, simply indicate that the title was under review.  Now I can just say that's what it is!

Here's another one for you:

Silliness

When you do
whatever you want to
for once not concerned what

your associates may think of your humor, but
enjoying new discovery – yet not to strut –
you will find it to relieve much stress

surprise them you possess
~ silliness ~


© MLee Dickens’son 06 Dec 2004


P.S.  I see before I even posted this, you'd posted yours while I was editing, James!  I'm not much of a science fiction reader, so I suppose you'll fill us all in on your UK phenom, the Quatermass.

Nice tight piece with neat variation of including the title at both beginning and end.

deLightingly, Daniel  sun.gif


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Guest_Cathy_*
post Dec 6 04, 14:14
Post #6





Guest






Snowflake.gif  Snowflake.gif  Snowflake.gif

I thought I'd give this a try!

                               


~A Snowfall~
                              Flakes a-twirl
                        sparkled prisms a-swirl
                    a filmy veil of crystalline white
                     
               creates a panaroma of Winter's delight
             to reflect shimmers in the aura of sunlight
                shocking beauty from a gem so small

                        to hold the eye enthral
                                A snowfall
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Dec 6 04, 19:09
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QUOTE (Jox @ Dec. 06 2004, 07:29)
Ref: MB !-204 AB
Copyright.
To all - NB The syllable count works for me - but I pronounce things strangely. If you're not happy I'll set the bugs on you.




Hi Lori, Daniel (Thanks Daniel!) et al...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/ilove/tv/quatermass/

The invaders' embryos were stuck deep under London streets in their UFO - which escaped detection when crashing through the pavements because it was thought to be a ear-time bomb. (I hope I have that right!). The snow is my addition. The key to the Quatermass sci-fi is that these aliens are actually a different thread from our ancestors who developed differently. They look like ants but might even be our uncles. Wwwwhhhoooo...

Prof Bernard Quatermass and his discoveries gripped Britain's new tv audience of the 1950s/60s. The link, above has clips and lots of Quatermass junkie stuff.

This was terrible to post - the words kept eeriely disappearing. What you see is actually a picture-link to my web site. But I'll try posting again direct via text on ikonboard (where this was created).

James.

I love it James!

Both your subject matter and your poem!  :lovie:

Nice job!
~Cleo  :cloud9:


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Dec 6 04, 19:11
Post #8


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QUOTE (Just Daniel @ Dec. 06 2004, 07:52)
Whew!  

I'm so pleased that you took my suggestion, LorII... since I had already introduced it in my one-form-per-day (30 day) challnge in Poetic Voices!  dance.gif  I did, however, simply indicate that the title was under review.  Now I can just say that's what it is!

Here's another one for you:

Silliness

When you do
whatever you want to
for once not concerned what

your associates may think of your humor, but
enjoying new discovery – yet not to strut –
you will find it to relieve much stress

surprise them you possess
~ silliness ~


© MLee Dickens’son 06 Dec 2004


P.S.  I see before I even posted this, you'd posted yours while I was editing, James!  I'm not much of a science fiction reader, so I suppose you'll fill us all in on your UK phenom, the Quatermass.

Nice tight piece with neat variation of including the title at both beginning and end.

deLightingly, Daniel  sun.gif

Simply EXCELLENT Daniel!  :smart:

I look forward to reading more - it's all in the word choices to express oneself's thoughts...

COOL!  :cool:  :chilly:


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Dec 6 04, 19:13
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Referred By:Imhotep



QUOTE (larrysgirl5548 @ Dec. 06 2004, 14:14)
Snowflake.gif  Snowflake.gif  Snowflake.gif

I thought I'd give this a try!

                               


~A Snowfall~
                              Flakes a-twirl
                        sparkled prisms a-swirl
                    a filmy veil of crystalline white
                     
               creates a panaroma of Winter's delight
             to reflect shimmers in the aura of sunlight
                shocking beauty from a gem so small

                        to hold the eye enthral
                                A snowfall

STUNNING Cathy!  :snowflake:

I've offered you a crit in Homer's as well.... What a neat piece to get one in the mood for snow (and it's snowing here right now)...

I look forward to reading more of this form from you...

Cheers! chilly.gif
~Cleo  :cloud9:


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Guest_Jox_*
post Dec 6 04, 19:22
Post #10





Guest






Thanks Lori.

Just thought I'd dabble....

I saw your specifications for the form and thought it looked crazily complex, so I, naturally, couldn't resist. Well done on another new form. You should consider more and then publishing a book with your various new forms in and some examples. LM Kanter's Poetic Approaches for 21stC - or some better title. Idea is serious, though.

See you later.

J.
 
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Guest_Cathy_*
post Dec 6 04, 23:34
Post #11





Guest






Thanks, I've used your suggestions, it really made a difference.

I'm working on another one but it's not ready yet.  It's got me stumped! Jester.gif

Cathy dove.gif  :holly:  :dove:
 
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AMETHYST
post Dec 7 04, 03:00
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Referred By:Lori Kanter



Oh my... This is so wonderful! Lori, you know how much I enjoy Rictameter's and Cinquains and still, various forms that play with rhyme and meter...but what I like about this is the twist of the ending line, summarizing the poem and becoming the title. Excellent inclusion of params....

Let's see what I come up with...



SHOOTING STARS


In twilight,
the swirl of night takes flight,
stars glissade across a gassy skies..

A spectacle of solar beams slope then arise
disquised in spiralled streams that glide and mesmerize

I sit beneath this stage on my car
in glee, I watch--a far
Shooting Stars.





·······IPB·······

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!

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AMETHYST
post Dec 7 04, 03:23
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Hey Lori,

Would you mind If I spread your name around, with the form and an invitation to visit Mosaic Musings to check this out? ... And would you be so kind as to post this and hte other Kanter Poetry Forms to Poetry 911--in the Training Forum. I would rather the members use it as a serious form of poetry to practice and grow with it.

With enough use, it might be a house hold name, like Cinquains and the such...

Another thing... is there a way to document this with the Library of Congress? ... to make sure that you will always be noted as the inventor?? ... Oh I am excited about your new forms.

Best to you! Liz


·······IPB·······

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Dec 7 04, 05:23
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Referred By:Imhotep



QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Dec. 07 2004, 03:00)
Oh my... This is so wonderful! Lori, you know how much I enjoy Rictameter's and Cinquains and still, various forms that play with rhyme and meter...but what I like about this is the twist of the ending line, summarizing the poem and becoming the title. Excellent inclusion of params....

Let's see what I come up with...



SHOOTING STARS


In twilight,
the swirl of night takes flight,
stars glissade across a gassy skies..

A spectacle of solar beams slope then arise
disquised in spiralled streams that glide and mesmerize

I sit beneath this stage on my car
in glee, I watch--a far
Shooting Stars.




Hi Liz! Snowflake.gif

I KNEW you'd like this one!  lovie.gif

Just one teensy nit: S2 should be 3 lines then S2 only 2....
BUT actually I like the change more - so I will change that in the form to writer choice - either 3/2/3 or 3/3/2 for layout.....  :pharoah2


A lovely piece - all the posts are very acute here which is so exciting for this new form!  sings.gif  dance.gif

HUGS!
Cleo GroupHug.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Guest_Jox_*
post Dec 7 04, 06:20
Post #15





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Lori... far from me with forms and all that, but...

Why not leave the verses flexible? You have specified syllables and lines and rhymes... by leaving the verse organisation flexible you will allow more"takes" on the form, without altering the fundementals of sound , etc.

Just a thought ... as you can see, my flying saucer shape combined into just the one verse.

Your form, your choice.

Tata, J.
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Dec 7 04, 06:22
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Referred By:Imhotep



QUOTE (Jox @ Dec. 07 2004, 06:20)
Lori... far from me with forms and all that, but...

Why not leave the verses flexible? You have specified syllables and lines and rhymes... by leaving the verse organisation flexible you will allow more"takes" on the form, without altering the fundementals of sound , etc.

Just a thought ... as you can see, my flying saucer shape combined into just the one verse.

Your form, your choice.

Tata, J.

YES- good idea Liz and James!

Writer can use either 3/3/2 OR 3/2/3 for the layout....

Cool!  :snowflake:

xmas.gif  :dance:
Cleo   cloud9.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Dec 7 04, 12:38
Post #17


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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Dec. 07 2004, 03:23)
Hey Lori,

Would you mind If I spread your name around, with the form and an invitation to visit Mosaic Musings to check this out? ... And would you be so kind as to post this and hte other Kanter Poetry Forms to Poetry 911--in the Training Forum. I would rather the members use it as a serious form of poetry to practice and grow with it.

With enough use, it might be a house hold name, like Cinquains and the such...

Another thing... is there a way to document this with the Library of Congress? ... to make sure that you will always be noted as the inventor?? ... Oh I am excited about your new forms.

Best to you! Liz

Hi Liz!  :reindeer:

I'd be honored to post my forms at your site for learning exercises!  :cool:

Of course any invitations to MM are appreciated as well!  :dove:

Hmmmm - I will check into your query about LOC - good idea!

HUGS!
~Cleo GroupHug.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Guest_Jox_*
post Dec 7 04, 19:22
Post #18





Guest






Hi Daniel,

Sorry! I've tried really hard to translate this and failed. Would you please be kind enough to offer a translation so my poor brain can follow it?

Thanks in anticipation, James.
 
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AMETHYST
post Dec 7 04, 21:58
Post #19


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From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter



QUOTE
Posted on Dec. 07 2004, 14:01
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I hope that recent discussion does not imply that serious poetry  has to be formal, sombre, fancy-ruffled or 'serious'.  


Well Daniel, Serious means that at the very least, the poem should make sense and be readable. I find that [b]LORI'S] new endeavor's of creating poetry forms fall under serious, as to be taken on with a true desire to learn the form as one would a Sonnet, A Villinelle, or any other established form.



Lori, I am so sorry that was an error in stanza breaks... will fix it!

Hugs and great job on these! Liz


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Guest_Jox_*
post Dec 8 04, 03:08
Post #20





Guest






Good Morning Daniel,

I popped back here looking for your kind translation. However, no only has it is it not there but also the original post has disappeared! (It was immediately above my request). Did you remove it or is there a technical glitch? We seem to have an outbreak of disappearing posts - must be the weather.

Seriously, though, I was hoping to see what you meant - so if you did remove it would you please consider re-posting and just helping me to understand... I would like to.

I hope I didn't upset you in any way - certainly didn't mean to. I wasn't being sarcastic or anything like that; I genuinely couldn't understand it, I'm afraid (people often ask me to explain my work too). I have always read your work and was simply asking for an explanation - nothing more. I promise.

Thanks, James.
 
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