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Down to the Dust (audio added) |
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Feb 8 16, 23:59
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 250
Joined: 1-November 15
Member No.: 5,282
Real Name: richard chase
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Rhapsody
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audio take on the poem https://soundcloud.com/rc-james-user841120068/z0000227Ain’ nuthin’ left here ‘cep six uv us an’ dry stahks ‘a corn. We’re up ta movin west soon as I sort out the T-Ford. Jenny, ma wife, is set to have anuther to make us seven. Got some taters an’ dry beans in the root cellah, but not much beyon’ that, relyin’ on the Lord to provide a way through the storm. Ah’m proud of the chilren, they got a strenth beyon’ anything I known. When jedgement day comes it won’ be no surprise, we alreddy been jedged an’ been found holdin’ the strenth of spirits who can survive culamity and beyond, way beyond what we thought we could hold in that handful of dust.
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Feb 9 16, 02:19
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,870
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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Hi RC,
This poem is so sad. I'm incapable of suggesting any changes. No point in removing or putting Caps or commas, as it's so evident that the speaker is of a lowly status, country man, probably affected by drought and low prices.
Not implying that he's not wise. He knows where his life and family may be heading.
I just read a long article about the record number of homeless people in New York City right now. I was shocked! No idea that N.Y. is like that now. Thought it had been solved.
And another one about how extremely poor single mothers are evicted by their landlords in many states. Over and over again. Mostly black, but not all. They have to move into shelters with rows and rows of beds, shared toilets and a dining-room. During the day they have to go outside...The shelters are made 'invisible', no signs or names by the entries. They're aided to get jobs, but the queues are so long that they give up. Live on welfare, which adds another black mark to their personal record...a circle they can't get out of.
So is your poem realistic? Is that how things are now? In what area would that be?
Thought provoking piece. Once again, you've deftly put yourself inside another's skin.
Syl
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Feb 9 16, 03:27
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 250
Joined: 1-November 15
Member No.: 5,282
Real Name: richard chase
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Rhapsody
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Syl - In the 1930's there was a great drought in the South Central states in the U.S. the area became known as the Dust Bowl and the people leaving the area - Dust Bowl Refugees. The poem is about such a family. Here's a song by Woody Guthrie, who came from Oklahoma:
Dust Bowl Refugee Words and Music by Woody Guthrie
I'm a dust bowl refugee, Just a dust bowl refugee, From that dust bowl to the peach bowl, Now that peach fuzz is a-killin' me.
'Cross the mountains to the sea, Come the wife and kids and me. It's a hot old dusty highway For a dust bowl refugee.
Hard, it's always been that way, Here today and on our way Down that mountain, 'cross the desert, Just a dust bowl refugee.
We are ramblers, so they say, We are only here today, Then we travel with the seasons, We're the dust bowl refugees.
From the south land and the drought land, Come the wife and kids and me, And this old world is a hard world For a dust bowl refugee.
Yes, we ramble and we roam And the highway that's our home, It's a never-ending highway For a dust bowl refugee.
Yes, we wander and we work In your crops and in your fruit, Like the whirlwinds on the desert That's the dust bowl refugees.
I'm a dust bowl refugee, I'm a dust bowl refugee, And I wonder will I always Be a dust bowl refugee?
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Feb 9 16, 10:21
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 250
Joined: 1-November 15
Member No.: 5,282
Real Name: richard chase
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Rhapsody
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Thanks K. - RC
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Feb 9 16, 11:59
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,376
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi RC,
I don't get over here to Seren's much but stumbled across your post and the vernacular reminded me a lot of how my Grandpa talked. He was from Oklahoma and went through the Dust Bowl but stuck it out somehow.
I saw only two tiny nits which you might consider correcting: L8 and L12 both begin capitalized with no period end-stop in the prior line. It's no big deal so it really doesn't matter but changing them would be grammatically correct.
My dad was a young man back then and he told me stories about how rough it was when we started to complain about how rough we had it in the early 50's. It really put a different perspective on things and made us appreciate how much we were blessed. Thanks for the memories!
Larry
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Feb 9 16, 12:27
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 250
Joined: 1-November 15
Member No.: 5,282
Real Name: richard chase
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Rhapsody
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Larry - Thanks for pointing out those two spots, I fixed them, RC
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Feb 11 16, 03:00
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 250
Joined: 1-November 15
Member No.: 5,282
Real Name: richard chase
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Rhapsody
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Thank you Heather for your comment and also that instinctive reaction to the vernacular. RC
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Mar 23 17, 15:55
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 250
Joined: 1-November 15
Member No.: 5,282
Real Name: richard chase
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Rhapsody
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An audio addition - RC
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Mar 28 17, 14:11
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Wow! Richard this is fantastic. You are so talented.
Is it you singing?
I'm so glad I called here today.
Eira
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