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Lost to time ( a Camdeboo lament), Rambling thoughts |
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Dec 3 08, 09:32
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 783
Joined: 24-July 07
From: South Africa
Member No.: 457
Real Name: Walter Schwim
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Mistral
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Legacy in stone
Where are those unremembered plains,
an Eden gone
along with dusty tales,
in mouldy pages left unbound
words, scattered by that tireless wind,
a wind that since the Earth began has blown
across the Great Karoo?
'Tis here those plains whose spirit was,
once lost to time,
yet found embedded in,
upon and of the weathered stone
that lives beneath an ancient sun
the very sun whose warmth created life
upon the Camdeboo.
While doing some research, I was frustrated by absense of literature on this region. The old books have all but vanished and it struck me that modern records are hopelessly fragile compared to fossils and san rock art. Wally
The Great Karoo is a vast semi desert region covering much of the area north of the Cape coastal fold mountains of South Africa. The Camdeboo lies in the eartern corner of this arid land. Steeped in history and legend, rich in fossils and ancient rock art it is one of the most beautiful and diverse natural treasures in the world.
The name Camdeboo has evolved from a phonetically similar Khoi word meaning "green hollow". The area was described by Hendrik Swellengrebel in 1776 as a triangular piece of land bounded on the north by the escarpment, on the south by stoney, tree-covered hills, the base near Aberdeen and the apex at Bruintjieshoogte, where there is still a farm named 'Slot van Camdeboo'. Cacadu is an isiXhosa name meaning "semi-arid and mountainous". Because of the clicking sound, it reflects the indigenous people who live in the area, who happen to be Xhosa and the Khoisan.
"Few people have the good fortune to be born in a desert. I was. All my life I have been conscious of my luck. Not, indeed, that we of the Karoo often think of our land as desert. It is the travellers who have crossed our plateau for two hundred years, and our visitors of today, who have called it this- and still do. Eve Palmer, "The Plaines of Camdeboo"
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Dec 4 08, 12:13
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 847
Joined: 14-November 03
From: Ireland
Member No.: 41
Real Name: Lucie
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
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Hello!
I loved reading this poem, as well as the explanation and quote at the end..the wording is just wonderful and it tells a story as well as giving some beautiful images.
My only small suggestion (and feel free to ignore) would be maybe to use "the" instead of "those" in the first line...it seems (and this could be just me) to read easier that way? Also maybe to put a question mark after that line and turn the next, "An Eden gone" into a new sentence.
Love the word "unremembered" as opposed to "forgotten"..really powerful
And I adore these lines
'Tis here those plains whose spirit was,
once lost to time,
yet found embedded in,
upon and of the weathered stone
that lives beneath an ancient sun
This is such a beautiful poem..I really enjoyed reading it:)
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Lucie "What could have made her peaceful with a mind That nobleness made simple as a fire, With beauty like a tightened bow, a kind That is not natural in an age like this, Being high and solitary and most stern? Why, what could she have done, being what she is? Was there another Troy for her to burn?" WB Yeats "No Second Troy" MM Award Winner
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Dec 4 08, 22:25
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Group: Gold Member
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From: US East Coast
Member No.: 185
Real Name: Peggy Harwood
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:just wandered in
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Hi Wally,
Quite exotic and romantic to my mind. Quite beautiful!!!
The sentence of the last stanza is so complex in structure that I can't tell if the structure is correct, but I can tell that the first stanza is sound and punctuated correctly as far as I can see.
I will be back to read more times.
Peggy
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Dec 6 08, 11:09
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Ornate Oracle
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From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
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Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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Hi Wally!
Simply beautiful. Somehow, I feel it has rhythm/form and should be over in R&F. There's some sort of cadence hidden there, IMHO.
As I have to go out, I shall return and make one or two minor suggestions, after having studied your explanation properly. This deserves full attention! (I always seem to have to rush out when I spot a gem!!).
Hugs, Syl***
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Guest_ohsteve_*
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Dec 6 08, 16:11
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Guest
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Wally, Wonderful read, I am glad your desert inspires you. Steve
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Dec 8 08, 05:28
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Creative Chieftain
Group: Centurion
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From: Australia
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Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry
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Hi Wally, No need for explainations behind the poem. The poems reads like silk. So much so I reached for my complete verse of Yeats. Yeats, had a definite pattern in most of his poems. The last few lines. The poem. Lines Written in Dejection.I have nothing but the embittered sun; Banished heroic mother moon and vanished, And now that I have come to fifty years I must endure the timid sun.Now your poem Legacy in stone Where are those unremembered plains, an Eden gone along with dusty tales, in mouldy pages left unbound words, scattered by that tireless wind, a wind that since the Earth began has blown across the Great Karoo? 'Tis here those plains whose spirit was, once lost to time, yet found embedded in, upon and of the weathered stone that lives beneath an ancient sun the very sun whose warmth created life upon the Camdeboo. A wonderful enjoyable poem, Wally.
I can't fault anything, than, perhaps the rhyme in the stanza's.
Once again Wally. Ten out of ten.
Exceptional quality.John.
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Dec 14 08, 19:42
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Mosaic Master
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi Wally, I really enjoyed this poem - it is an educational/inspiration to The Great Karoo and of course, the "green hollow". Thanks for sharing this with us - no nits here! ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Dec 15 08, 06:26
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 783
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From: South Africa
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Real Name: Walter Schwim
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Referred By:Mistral
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Thank you all for those appreciated comments. I eventually managed to find a copy of Eve Palmers book which I am presently reading and the stories are really facinating, especially the fossil links to early man and the the masses of stone age artifacts found here. It makes one feel humbled by the history of this place. Truly the cradle of mankind. Hugs, Wally
PS, I will be scarse for the next few weeks but will pop in from time to time. Happy Christmas
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Dec 15 08, 06:39
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Mosaic Master
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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[marquee]HAPPY CHRISTMAS WALLY [/marquee]
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Feb 4 09, 04:04
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Creative Chieftain
Group: Centurion
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From: Australia
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Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry
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I've resurected this poem Wally. It's Too good to let it slide off into the drainage system. Legacy in stone Where are those unremembered plains, an Eden gone along with dusty tales, in mouldy pages left unbound words, scattered by that tireless wind, a wind that since the Earth began has blown across the Great Karoo? 'Tis here those plains whose spirit was, once lost to time, yet found embedded in, upon and of the weathered stone that lives beneath an ancient sun the very sun whose warmth created life upon the Camdeboo. The beat throughout the lines is a delight.
Sheer enjoyment. John
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Feb 7 09, 09:35
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Real Name: Leonora Wyatt
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Referred By:No one at all
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Such a beautiful poem! I was inspired by the grandeur of those two stanzas to find some information about the Karoo, (I am ashamed to say that I knew nothing of its glories.) I can imagine that past history, "in mouldy pages left unbound, words scattered by that tireless wind," A land full of mysteries, and possibilities.
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