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Haiku, Japanese form |
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Mar 8 15, 22:51
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,332
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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a crumbling form old cypress falls in the swamp termites share their home
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Mar 8 15, 23:17
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Ooh lovely Larry
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Mar 9 15, 02:27
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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Daniel,
We seem to differ here. I know what the exact rules are for haiku, but have been treating these exchanges as light fun. You perhaps are cleaving to the "Poetry Education" original concept.
I know you put your criticisms very lightly, but I have to say, they piss me off. My only solution is to not partake of Haiku and Senryu forms, because I cannot be bothered with worrying whether I might have made a tiny mistake for which I will be shown up.
I don't mind being critted if I forget to format a Lanturne correctly, that is a mere oversight.
Any thoughts ?
Alan
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Mar 11 15, 23:24
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,332
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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condors in mountains always got choice nesting sites saw it as high coup
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Mar 14 15, 18:15
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,457
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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QUOTE (Alan @ Mar 9 15, 03:27 ) Daniel,
We seem to differ here. I know what the exact rules are for haiku, but have been treating these exchanges as light fun. You perhaps are cleaving to the "Poetry Education" original concept.
I know you put your criticisms very lightly, but I have to say, they piss me off. My only solution is to not partake of Haiku and Senryu forms, because I cannot be bothered with worrying whether I might have made a tiny mistake for which I will be shown up.
I don't mind being critted if I forget to format a Lanturne correctly, that is a mere oversight.
Any thoughts ?
Alan Dear Alan: I definitely always have deLighted to participate in our light-hearted exchanges in these forums. I hope that you will continue, and I know, even without asking him, that Larry feels the same way. And yes, I do, as you say, 'cleave' to the "Poetry Education" original concept, particularly because Lori has given us no other direction to abandon that concept, at least so far as I know. It's always been my understanding that persons posting in this forum are open to mild redirection if they have not grasped or have lost track of the concept of the form being written in. The challenge, of course, is to be able to continue the fun-ness of the exchanges WITHIN THE CONFINES of that form, or else, what is the purpose of posting under that category. I'm certainly sorry to learn that I've "pissed you off". That certainly has not been my intention. And ABSOLUTELY have I NEVER attempted to "show you up" in any way. Haiku and senryu are obviously quite similar, and the difference between them has been much lessened in current practice, and yet they are still quite different, except in the 'short-long-short' outward form. One thing that remains normal is that there are TWO OBSERVATIONS, one of them normally in two of the lines and the other in one -- and in either order. If there is one complete sentence, it is simply not a haiku or a senryu. And that being said, the additions or subtractions cannot be considered "minor" -- except in size, but then the size of the form is quite minor in itself. I'd like to see you utilize your considerable poetic ability WITHIN the strictures of the form, rather than abandon the playing field. For me, however, it really is not much fun to continue in a format in which the format is abandoned. The challenge then disappears, and the fun is partly in the challenge. I know that over the years Larry and I have developed a rather unique friendship in challenging each other by occasionally throwing a "curve" or using a strange word or phrase that is difficult to include in the next piece. But we eventualy manage to twist the word or phrase to fit in the form. That is half the fun! deLighting in the opportunity to have this exchange. Please forgive me for taking so long to respond. It has been difficult for me. At first I felt devastated and perplexed and just wanted to avoid it, but that would not honor our long friendship. I want it to continue. with love, respect and deLight, Daniel
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Mar 14 15, 18:23
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,457
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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QUOTE (Larry @ Mar 12 15, 00:24 ) condors in mountains always got choice nesting sites saw it as high coup finding her high coop the old hen laid an egg; nothing to crow o'er
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Mar 15 15, 13:24
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,332
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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two crows are nothing black smudges in a cornfield they have been de-flocked
I know, it's almost a faux-ku!
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Mar 17 15, 16:17
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,457
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Yep, Larry... pretty much, you'd just need a play-on-words title... although you still have the habit of making THREE statements, rather than tying two of them together. For example, you might have said something like:
two crows are nothing but black blots in a cornfield; they were de-flocked
anyhow...
corn has been plucked just before the harvest; wait to see who crows
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Mar 17 15, 17:00
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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wait to see who crows who wins and who loses a merciless game
Alan
Dear Daniel,
Thank you for your response. I too nneded to give it some space. I get your place of origin, I will try to keep to the rule, but do remember I am a mere human !
Alan
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Mar 17 15, 23:05
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,332
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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a merciless crane strides along in the shallows food for reflection
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Mar 20 15, 01:47
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,457
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Ah, I see Alan IS back!!! It's refreshingly good news!!!
reflecting on food the heron thrusts his neck; pond fish for dinner
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Mar 20 15, 12:34
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,332
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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fish ponder dinner minnows swim in the shallows, are those their children?
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Mar 22 15, 12:21
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,457
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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those are the children of the ancient white-barked trees: sons of birches
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Mar 22 15, 22:43
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,332
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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the sands of beaches reflect the light of the stars pieces from their heart
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Mar 23 15, 16:06
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,457
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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peaceful is the hart surrounded by its does; no scents of hunter
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Mar 24 15, 14:29
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,332
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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hunted by their scents small animals clean themselves betrayed by a breeze
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Mar 24 15, 15:48
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,457
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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bee trades in the breeze; a little pollen here, some more over there
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Mar 25 15, 14:11
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,332
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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summer over there means it is winter elsewhere seasonal assault
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Mar 27 15, 10:53
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,457
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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seasoning with salt ocean waves lick the jetty; residual grains
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Mar 30 15, 09:02
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,332
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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residential gains birds and creatures build new homes habitats matter
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