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> Haiku, Japanese form
Larry
post Mar 8 15, 22:51
Post #1101


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a crumbling form
old cypress falls in the swamp
termites share their home


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
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Cleo_Serapis
post Mar 8 15, 23:17
Post #1102


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Ooh lovely Larry sun.gif


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Alan
post Mar 9 15, 02:27
Post #1103


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Daniel,

We seem to differ here. I know what the exact rules are for haiku, but have been treating these exchanges as light fun. You perhaps are cleaving to the "Poetry Education" original concept.

I know you put your criticisms very lightly, but I have to say, they piss me off. My only solution is to not partake of Haiku and Senryu forms, because I cannot be bothered with worrying whether I might have made a tiny mistake for which I will be shown up.

I don't mind being critted if I forget to format a Lanturne correctly, that is a mere oversight.

Any thoughts ?

Alan


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Larry
post Mar 11 15, 23:24
Post #1104


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condors in mountains
always got choice nesting sites
saw it as high coup


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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JustDaniel
post Mar 14 15, 18:15
Post #1105


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QUOTE (Alan @ Mar 9 15, 03:27 ) *
Daniel,

We seem to differ here. I know what the exact rules are for haiku, but have been treating these exchanges as light fun. You perhaps are cleaving to the "Poetry Education" original concept.

I know you put your criticisms very lightly, but I have to say, they piss me off. My only solution is to not partake of Haiku and Senryu forms, because I cannot be bothered with worrying whether I might have made a tiny mistake for which I will be shown up.

I don't mind being critted if I forget to format a Lanturne correctly, that is a mere oversight.

Any thoughts ?

Alan

Dear Alan:

I definitely always have deLighted to participate in our light-hearted exchanges in these forums. I hope that you will continue, and I know, even without asking him, that Larry feels the same way. And yes, I do, as you say, 'cleave' to the "Poetry Education" original concept, particularly because Lori has given us no other direction to abandon that concept, at least so far as I know. It's always been my understanding that persons posting in this forum are open to mild redirection if they have not grasped or have lost track of the concept of the form being written in. The challenge, of course, is to be able to continue the fun-ness of the exchanges WITHIN THE CONFINES of that form, or else, what is the purpose of posting under that category.

I'm certainly sorry to learn that I've "pissed you off". That certainly has not been my intention. And ABSOLUTELY have I NEVER attempted to "show you up" in any way. Haiku and senryu are obviously quite similar, and the difference between them has been much lessened in current practice, and yet they are still quite different, except in the 'short-long-short' outward form. One thing that remains normal is that there are TWO OBSERVATIONS, one of them normally in two of the lines and the other in one -- and in either order. If there is one complete sentence, it is simply not a haiku or a senryu. And that being said, the additions or subtractions cannot be considered "minor" -- except in size, but then the size of the form is quite minor in itself. I'd like to see you utilize your considerable poetic ability WITHIN the strictures of the form, rather than abandon the playing field.

For me, however, it really is not much fun to continue in a format in which the format is abandoned. The challenge then disappears, and the fun is partly in the challenge. I know that over the years Larry and I have developed a rather unique friendship in challenging each other by occasionally throwing a "curve" or using a strange word or phrase that is difficult to include in the next piece. But we eventualy manage to twist the word or phrase to fit in the form. That is half the fun!

deLighting in the opportunity to have this exchange. Please forgive me for taking so long to respond. It has been difficult for me. At first I felt devastated and perplexed and just wanted to avoid it, but that would not honor our long friendship. I want it to continue.

with love, respect and deLight, Daniel sun.gif


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JustDaniel
post Mar 14 15, 18:23
Post #1106


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QUOTE (Larry @ Mar 12 15, 00:24 ) *
condors in mountains
always got choice nesting sites
saw it as high coup


finding her high coop
the old hen laid an egg;
nothing to crow o'er


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Larry
post Mar 15 15, 13:24
Post #1107


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two crows are nothing
black smudges in a cornfield
they have been de-flocked




I know, it's almost a faux-ku!


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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JustDaniel
post Mar 17 15, 16:17
Post #1108


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Yep, Larry... pretty much, you'd just need a play-on-words title... although you still have the habit of making THREE statements, rather than tying two of them together. For example, you might have said something like:

two crows are nothing
but black blots in a cornfield;
they were de-flocked


anyhow...

corn has been plucked
just before the harvest;
wait to see who crows


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Alan
post Mar 17 15, 17:00
Post #1109


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wait to see who crows
who wins and who loses
a merciless game

Alan

Dear Daniel,

Thank you for your response. I too nneded to give it some space. I get your place of origin, I will try to keep to the rule, but do remember I am a mere human !

Alan


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Larry
post Mar 17 15, 23:05
Post #1110


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a merciless crane
strides along in the shallows
food for reflection


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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JustDaniel
post Mar 20 15, 01:47
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Ah, I see Alan IS back!!! It's refreshingly good news!!!

reflecting on food
the heron thrusts his neck;
pond fish for dinner


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Larry
post Mar 20 15, 12:34
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fish ponder dinner
minnows swim in the shallows,
are those their children?


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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JustDaniel
post Mar 22 15, 12:21
Post #1113


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those are the children
of the ancient white-barked trees:
sons of birches


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Larry
post Mar 22 15, 22:43
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the sands of beaches
reflect the light of the stars
pieces from their heart


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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JustDaniel
post Mar 23 15, 16:06
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peaceful is the hart
surrounded by its does;
no scents of hunter


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Larry
post Mar 24 15, 14:29
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hunted by their scents
small animals clean themselves
betrayed by a breeze


·······IPB·······

When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

MM Award Winner
 
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JustDaniel
post Mar 24 15, 15:48
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bee trades in the breeze;
a little pollen here,
some more over there


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Larry
post Mar 25 15, 14:11
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summer over there
means it is winter elsewhere
seasonal assault


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

MM Award Winner
 
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JustDaniel
post Mar 27 15, 10:53
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seasoning with salt
ocean waves lick the jetty;
residual grains


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Larry
post Mar 30 15, 09:02
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residential gains
birds and creatures build new homes
habitats matter


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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