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Alan
Posted on: Dec 22 15, 00:46


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I DO NOT WISH ....

What I would ask for from Magi passing this way
is an end to the endless, mindless Christmas affray
from September or before they line up their list
enough of frivolity, I'm getting quite pissed
I see it that stores need to plan well ahead
but let poor Child alone, asleep in his bed

In fact, to be honest, at the end's not too bad
all tuckered out, but that start's so early to be had
for jollity and japes and all such kindred things
for shepherds and seraphim and three Holy Kings
so Peace on Earth, before I commit an affray
I do NOT wish it could be Christmas every day !

Alan McAlpine Douglas
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #141265 · Replies: 3 · Views: 593

Alan
Posted on: Dec 21 15, 20:32


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Dear Liz,

FanTASTic to hear from you again ! The old (not so much of that, young man !) crew.

Your notes are appreciated, and I have changed one, where 'great' jarred. But the before is important, needs that emphasis. Hence the italics to give that kick, but removing the 'great' was distracting. 'Before' is the whole point of the poem !

Thanks for the detailed comment.

Love
Alan
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #141258 · Replies: 7 · Views: 725

Alan
Posted on: Dec 21 15, 04:05


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Dear Sylvia,

Thank you for the warm (re)welcome. too would prefer to have something valid to say !

Love
Alan
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #141240 · Replies: 7 · Views: 725

Alan
Posted on: Dec 19 15, 20:22


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Dear Merlin and Daniel,

Thank you both so much for the comments.

I really only disappeared cuz I ran out of things to say, my muse went thataway. But luckily that illogic of the wise men being way ahead of the game was the kind of thought that got me hooked.

And Daniel, I got your kind words on the birthday, but could not log on at that time, so thank you belatedly for the greetings. Lori sorted that.

Love
Alan
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #141212 · Replies: 7 · Views: 725

Alan
Posted on: Dec 19 15, 18:17


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I DO NOT WISH ....

What I would ask for from Magi passing this way
is an end to the endless, mindless Christmas affray
from September or before they line up their list
enough of frivolity, I'm getting quite pissed
I see it that stores need to plan well ahead
but let poor Child alone, asleep in his bed

In fact, to be honest, at the end's not too bad
all tuckered out, but that start's so early to be had
for jollity and japes and all such kindred things
for shepherds and seraphim and three Holy Kings
so Peace on Earth, before I commit an affray
I do NOT wish it could be Christmas every day !

Alan McAlpine Douglas
  Forum: Monthly Challenges -> Pandora's Box · Post Preview: #141206 · Replies: 0 · Views: 655

Alan
Posted on: Dec 19 15, 17:57


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Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298


A LEAK FROM ON HIGH

A rumor has it,
something big's going down.
Holiday Inn's packed
it's all over the town

But nobody knows
yet, quite what it could be
opinions run riot
not a single room's free

They're packing them in
outhouses and stable
wherever they'll fit -
most uncomfortable

Three Wise Men journey
they're not travelling blind
with some precious gifts
seem to know what's in mind ?

They'd done their planning
days before, from afar
a vision, they claim
to pursue a bright Star

So how did they know
and what gave them the tip
who leaked their purpose
before start of their trip ?

Not secure, their plan
someone had the detail
had to be Big Man
Who knew it would not fail

Thus Jesus was born
in a humble hay stack
with Three Kings so wise
AND THERE'S NO GOING BACK !

Alan McAlpine Douglas
  Forum: Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -... · Post Preview: #141204 · Replies: 7 · Views: 725

Alan
Posted on: Dec 18 15, 23:15


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Dear Lori,

Thank you kindly, I have been so out of practise. But Daniel called on me at my birthday, then of course I could not log in, but here I am.

Always figured that those wise men must have known something !

Love
Alan
  Forum: Mosaic Musings Holiday Classic · Post Preview: #141168 · Replies: 3 · Views: 869

Alan
Posted on: Dec 18 15, 18:01


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Dear Denis,

Ha ! Serves you rght ! Great punch line !

Love
Alan
  Forum: Mosaic Musings Holiday Classic · Post Preview: #141157 · Replies: 2 · Views: 713

Alan
Posted on: Dec 18 15, 17:20


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Group: Gold Member
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A LEAK FROM ON HIGH

A rumor has it,
something big's going down.
Holiday Inn's packed
it's all over the town

But nobody knows,
yet, quite what it could be
opinions run riot
not a single room's free

They're packing them in
outhouses and stable
wherever they'll fit -
most uncomfortable

Three Wise Men journey
they're not travelling blind
with some precious gifts
seem to know what's in mind ?

They'd done their planning
days before, from afar
a vision, they claim
to pursue a bright Star

So how did they know
and what gave them the tip
who leaked great purpose
before start of their trip ?

Not secure, their plan
someone had the detail
had to be Big Man
Who knew it would not fail

Thus Jesus was born
in a humble hay stack
with Three Kings so wise
AND THERE'S NO GOING BACK !

Alan McAlpine Douglas
  Forum: Mosaic Musings Holiday Classic · Post Preview: #141156 · Replies: 3 · Views: 869

Alan
Posted on: Apr 28 15, 11:49


Laureate Legionnaire
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Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298


Dear Lori,

Thank you. I do seem to be getting better, but have had a tired day for some reason.

Will pop in and out of here when I can.

Love
Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #137218 · Replies: 1777 · Views: 79,332

Alan
Posted on: Apr 27 15, 00:57


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chicks
go peep
endlessly
Woodstockian
Freud

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #137202 · Replies: 2089 · Views: 77,191

Alan
Posted on: Apr 27 15, 00:53


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quench winter's dear thirst
coke's universality
still they fill the ice

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #137201 · Replies: 1950 · Views: 67,573

Alan
Posted on: Apr 27 15, 00:50


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foot long
double it up
with condign condiments
it's much too delicious to leave
consumed

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #137200 · Replies: 2586 · Views: 89,348

Alan
Posted on: Apr 27 15, 00:47


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if you see the ER anyway
say hello, 'scuse I won't stay
just a fleeting glance
as it were, by trance
if I'm missing, I WILL stay away

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #137199 · Replies: 2821 · Views: 108,328

Alan
Posted on: Apr 27 15, 00:41


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golden delicious
a complete oxymoron
yellow insipids

Alan

PS, Larry, Daniel, Lori, sorry I have been "away", had lots of attention on our upcoming election (7 May), and just to add complexity, had a mild stroke, which mainly jumbled my words, well on the way back to better, tho !

Several words here needed re-typing.
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #137198 · Replies: 1777 · Views: 79,332

Alan
Posted on: Mar 17 15, 17:12


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clothe
your ears
in silence
lest you should hear
filth

Alan

  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #136981 · Replies: 2089 · Views: 77,191

Alan
Posted on: Mar 17 15, 17:10


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book bombed

surfing waves of words
it's more filler than thriller
not like nuclear text

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #136980 · Replies: 451 · Views: 38,935

Alan
Posted on: Mar 17 15, 17:06


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it was the genome
responsible for his jeans
loosely round bottom

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #136979 · Replies: 1777 · Views: 79,332

Alan
Posted on: Mar 17 15, 17:03


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square roots
from blonde to black
at hair's origin point
must think it irrisistible
silly

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #136978 · Replies: 2586 · Views: 89,348

Alan
Posted on: Mar 17 15, 17:00


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wait to see who crows
who wins and who loses
a merciless game

Alan

Dear Daniel,

Thank you for your response. I too nneded to give it some space. I get your place of origin, I will try to keep to the rule, but do remember I am a mere human !

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #136977 · Replies: 1950 · Views: 67,573

Alan
Posted on: Mar 17 15, 16:55


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all these rodents who share fleas and lice
can be evicted in just a trice
so throw shoes and socks
some stones and big rocks
a direct hit would be really gneiss

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #136976 · Replies: 2821 · Views: 108,328

Alan
Posted on: Mar 9 15, 03:09


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of wind
let us not speak
lest we betray who it
was that let one fly discretely
but damp

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #136922 · Replies: 2586 · Views: 89,348

Alan
Posted on: Mar 9 15, 03:05


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he's trying to evade a monsoon
due to hit him by round about noon
but there's limited choice
so you better rejoice
but not if your choice is balloon

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #136921 · Replies: 2821 · Views: 108,328

Alan
Posted on: Mar 9 15, 02:36


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fly
has thoughts
hopes or dreams
eternal life
swat !

Alan

  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #136920 · Replies: 2089 · Views: 77,191

Alan
Posted on: Mar 9 15, 02:31


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whether

now it's not hoary
but the weatherman predicts
the iceman cometh

Alan
  Forum: Poetry Education -> Karnak Crossing · Post Preview: #136919 · Replies: 451 · Views: 38,935

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