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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews _ Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren's Synapse _ Puffins equating misery
Posted by: greenwich Dec 21 16, 15:42
I laughed from the window ledge,
a wadling Puffin
walking down the busy street,
wings covering eyes.
He was lost
unless he had planned this a thousand times,
to espy the vanquished,
those universal global warmers -
the tombstone sayers of Acacia Avenue.
There's too much of the wrong traffic
daily debating those diesel fumes.
Posted by: Eisa Jan 4 17, 18:44
I enjoyed this Antony - just a few comments below.
I laughed from the window ledge,
a wadling Puffin
walking down the busy street,
Perhaps it would be more concise to say
a puffin waddling
down the busy street.
2 'dd's in waddling
wings covering eyes.
He was lost
unless he had planned this a thousand times,
to espy the vanquished,
those universal global warmers -
the tombstone sayers of Acacia Avenue.
There's too much of the wrong traffic
daily debating those diesel fumes.
Happy New Year Antony!
Eira
Posted by: greenwich Jan 6 17, 13:53
Thank you for the review and a happy New Year to all
Posted by: Psyche Jan 9 17, 00:10
Hi Antony,
I laughed at the waddling puffin (with two d's, of course).
But this is a serious issue. I like your poetic wording of it. Not sure where Acacia Avenue is, but never mind.
The final lines are a protest; I agree with you. Good alliteration in the last line, with those 'd' words.
Bring on some more!
Syl 
a wadling Puffin
walking down the busy street,
wings covering eyes.
He was lost
unless he had planned this a thousand times,
to espy the vanquished,
those universal global warmers -
the tombstone sayers of Acacia Avenue.
There's too much of the wrong traffic
daily debating those diesel fumes.
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