Seasonal Languor Revision April 2017
My husband offered me pomegranate seeds
from the supermarket shelf; I contemplate
when Hades tempted you. Now four months of
each year you dwell inside the depths with him
while I endure, this suffocating darkness,
exhaustion, craving carbs and sugared tea.
I ache for sunshine’s vitamin D –
and your return with flaming torch.
Demeter’s sorrow is shared, but I detest her
fruitless spread, so slump beneath my quilt
with no desire to surface and get dressed;
warmth coddles all my frigid bones.
I scrutinize the sky for scythe-like wings
returning from overheated realms,
yearn for apodidae, screaming parties
careening madly round rooftops.
As crocus’ wake beneath catkin arms,
you glimmer through the shadows, enfold
me in promises, scythes slash through cirrus
- and I spring into your radiance.
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Seasonal Languor
My husband picked me pomegranate seeds
from the supermarket shelf; I contemplate
when Hades tempted you. Now a third of
each year you inhabit the depths with him
while I endure, this suffocating darkness,
exhaustion, craving carbs and sugared tea.
I ache for sunshine’s vitamin D –
and your return with flaming torch.
Demeter’s sorrow is shared, but I detest her
fruitless spread, so slump beneath my quilt
with no desire to surface and get dressed;
warmth coddles my frigid bones.
I scrutinise the sky for scythe-like wings
returning from overheated realms,
yearn for swift’s screaming parties
careening madly round the rooftops.
As crocus’ wake beneath catkin arms,
your glimmer through the shadows, enfolds
me in promises, scythes slash through cirrus
- and I spring into your radiance.
A few small changes
Eira
Greetings, Eira.
Here I am belatedly visiting the other side of this empty realm, where I struggle in darkness myself, but of a different sort than yours here. I trust that all that this poem long for is well within your grasp now that summer is upon us!
Let me merely offer a few questions or comments, perhaps a 'correction'?
Hi there, Eisa;
the only problem I really have with your free-verse is the first quatrain. There seem to be three persons; you, the husband, and the other "you," who dwells inside the depths with him. Might that be Demeter? The point is that I'm sitting here, as a casual reader, scratching my head, wondering: did Hades (Pluto) tempt the husband or the unspecified other "you," or are you metaphorically speaking of winter and summer? Forgive my ignorance; at times I can be a genuine blockhead. Other than the opening lines of your poem, I "get" and enjoy your interesting write. I appreciate this forum. Yours,
Ali
My husband offered me pomegranate seeds
from the supermarket shelf; I contemplate (I wonder)?
when Hades tempted you. Now four months of
each year you dwell inside the depths with him
Hi Daniel,
It's always great to hear from you. Haven't you been moving house - or perhaps I'm thinking of someone else. Anyway, I'm so pleased to hear from you.
I suppose this poem is best enjoyed if you have a little knowledge of Greek mythology. I only have a little, but find it fascinating.
Throughout the poem I am talking to Persephone, Greek goddess of springtime, so in St1 when I refer to 'you' it is her (Persephone) I am referring to. She was tempted to eat pomegranate seeds by Hades and then had to spend part of the year with him. Demeter from st2 is Persephone's mother.
You have made some valid points Daniel and I always value your ideas. I'll return to this again with new eyes soon.
So pleased to see you here.
Eira
Hi Ali,
It's great to see you reading my poem and you have made some valid points to help.
As I said to Daniel, throughout the poem I am talking to Persephone, Greek goddess of springtime, so in St1 when I refer to 'you' it is her (Persephone) I am referring to. She was tempted to eat pomegranate seeds by Hades and then had to spend part of the year with him. Demeter from st2 is Persephone's mother.
The poem has undertones of seasonal affective disorder. Interesting to see you suggest changing contemplate to wonder as in my files I have done that - will change it here.
Eira
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