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> Doubtful Directives, For crits & nits!
Psyche
post Sep 29 10, 00:19
Post #1


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Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,770
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting



(Just out of the oven. Had to write something to get worse thoughts out of my head..)


Go… slip into your familiar fiefdom sealed to me;
I’ll say adios now –to my feelings not you-
as I release your angel arm,
admitting the unattainable.

Go with your peers through nether
portals of the mind, stranger than witchcraft.
Dark shores bordering lightness!
Maybe I too will traverse their sands,
beyond reason, more cryptic than art
or the poetic word.

My goodbye is irreversible. You’ll not know
me if I, too, plummet into improvident spans.
Today I can only sit by you, disregarding
your prattle, valuing nothing,
yet confident of some sheltering empathy
in the synchronicity of our lives.

Go before I burst out crying for the self
I loved in you; stumble off as if nothing
happened, when everything has happened!
Grope your droll road to baffling echelons
with their odd laws -everything has laws,
even lunacy-
I’ll not browbeat you back
into this world tagged normal.

Set off now!
It’s time to let go…

By Psyche

© Sylvia Evelyn, Buenos Aires, Argentina, 2010.
All rights reserved.


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The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

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Alan
post Sep 29 10, 00:40
Post #2


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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends



Dear Sylvia,

Moving.

Can't say too much more as I know none of the circumstances. Alzheimers ? Irretrievably broken down relationship ? And, real in your life, or poetic invention ?

Love
Alan


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Psyche
post Oct 28 10, 22:48
Post #3


Ornate Oracle
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Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,770
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting




Dear Alan,

I apologise sincerely for not having responded far sooner to your questions. There was a brutal assault on a very close member of my family, which left me/us in a state of shock. I can't imagine how I wrote this poem about a week after the horrible event. I just couldn't sleep & this came out. It has nothing to do with the assaulted person, who was on the brink of death with 8 bullets in his abdomen...He's finally back home but has a long convalescence ahead, a painful one with further surgeries. Only 49 years old, and his two little girls witnessed the shooting...enough!

I felt I owed you an explanation, but it's not forum stuff.

The person in the poem has had senile dementia for about 10 years, due to coronary disease, following 3 major heart surgeries. Since you ask, yes, it's my husband, but I honestly prefer people to make objective critiques however personal the poem might be. After all, the better the piece gets with help in the forums, the better the tribute to the loved one, right?

So if you've not given up on me by now, I would love an honest appraisal from you.
Just go ahead and nit freely.

Love, Syl***





QUOTE (Alan @ Sep 29 10, 08:40 ) *
Dear Sylvia,

Moving.

Can't say too much more as I know none of the circumstances. Alzheimers ? Irretrievably broken down relationship ? And, real in your life, or poetic invention ?

Love
Alan


·······IPB·······

Mis temas favoritos



The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

MM Award Winner
 
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