JFK, Jr. - Revised 5/9/07, a true story from 1998 Options

[JLY]

JFK, Jr. & ME

My family met JFK, Jr. on Father’s Day weekend, 1998 in Gettysburg, PA. How we met was most surprising.

My wife Alison, and son Kyle decided to take a mini-vacation during that holiday weekend. Alison’s best friend, Lynn from Colorado, was visiting her sister in Maryland. The women made arrangements for us to get together. Alison, twelve-year-old Kyle, and I drove down to western Maryland just across the Pennsylvania line. We were thinking of what we could do, option 1, go to Baltimore and visit their waterfront area, or option 2, just travel ten miles and go to Gettysburg and visit the Civil War sites. We chose Gettysburg because it was closer and we thought it would be interesting and educational for Kyle.

It was a very hot and humid day so we decided to ride in the comfort of our air-conditioned van and take the auto tour. You can only go in one direction on the tour; all of the roads are one way. We were driving along when we noticed 2 gentlemen walking towards our direction. They appeared to be either lost or in need of some assistance. One of them was looking down to the ground as if he did not want to be seen. We were now adjacent to them and each of us in the van (with the exception of Kyle) recognized that one of them was William Kennedy Smith and then it all clicked for us, the other man was JFK, Jr.

By now they were behind us. I could not turn around because it was one way, so I decided to catch up with them. I had to drive about two miles to get back onto the loop of the tour that they were on. We were driving up a small hill when lo and behold; the two gentlemen were walking along the road as we passed them once again.

I pulled the van over to the side of the road. Now, picture this: I have two wild and crazy women in my car who are acting like they are teenagers; they are saying, “It’s him, it’s him, he’s gorgeous!”

These casually dressed guys now walked past us. Kyle really didn’t know the degree of celebrity status that JFK, Jr. had and Kyle is by nature a very shy boy. We all asked him if he would get out of the van and walk over to the two men and ask them if they needed any help. To our surprise he said yes and exited the van. I watched through the rearview mirror and gave a play-by-play report.
“Kyle is now talking to John; John is putting his arm around Kyle’s shoulder; Kyle, John, and William are coming this way”

At that instant Alison jumped out of the van and opened the rear door. We all asked John if he needed help. He said that he was separated from his tour bus and could we be kind enough to give him a ride. We, of course said yes. They got into the van and sat in the very rear seat. We all introduced ourselves and then it was John’s turn. He stated, “Hi, I am John and this is my cousin Will.” No last names, because he knew that we knew that he was JFK, Jr.

We exchanged small talk; asked him what he was doing in Gettysburg; he asked us the same; I made an innocent comical statement…”Is spending a day in the heat and humidity of Gettysburg all it’s cracked up to be?”; he responded with a witty answer... “It certainly beats the annoying crowds I have to deal with in the city.”

The trip lasted about ten minutes and he was exactly as everyone said he was: charming, personable, witty, and very much down to earth. He was genuine and had no false airs about him. We caught up with the bus and we let John and Will out. At this time a young lady came up to my side of the car; I rolled down the window to speak with her. It was Caroline Kennedy. She thanked us for being so nice and courteous to give “her brother” a ride. We said our goodbyes.

The punch line is that none of us had a camera to record the event nor did we have a pen to get an autograph. But in a sense that is how it should have been because we did not make John feel besieged or threatened. The time that he spent with my family was as relaxing for him as it could have been. He smiled and he appeared as though he was enjoying the brief ride with our group.

For a moment a sense of sadness overcame all of us. It was because we understood what JFK, Jr had to endure when he was in the public eye. As soon as he stepped out of our van, several tourists ran up to him and began badgering him and William for photos and autographs. As we pulled away we once again saw John with his head down as if he was trying to hide himself from the public eye.

<font color='#0000FF'>Author's note:  This may not measure up to what a short story should be, I simply wrote this as it happened and thought it would be something of interest for my MM friends to read.



My family met JFK, Jr. on Father’s Day weekend, 1998 in Gettysburg, PA.  How we met is a very interesting, once in a lifetime experience.  

My wife, Alison’ and son Kyle decided to take a mini vacation during Father’s Day weekend.  Alison’s best friend, Lynn from Colorado was visiting her sister in Maryland.  These two women made arrangements for us to get together for the weekend.  Alison, Kyle (age 12 at the time), and I drove down to western Maryland just across the PA line.  We were thinking of what we could do---option 1, go to Baltimore and visit their waterfront area or option 2, just travel 10 miles and go to Gettysburg and visit the Civil War sites.  We chose Gettysburg because it was closer and we thought it would be interesting and educational for Kyle.

It happened to be a very hot and humid day so we decided to ride in the comfort of our air conditioned van and take the car tour.  On the car tour, you can only go in one direction—all of the roads are one way.  We were driving along when we noticed 2 gentlemen walking towards our direction.  They appeared as though they were either lost or they needed some assistance.  One of them was looking down to the ground as if he did not want to be seen.  We were now almost adjacent to them and each of us in the van (with the exception of Kyle) recognized that one of them was William Kennedy Smith and then it all clicked for us, the other man was JFK, Jr.

Now at this time they had walked past us and were now behind us.  I could not turn around because it was one way, I decided to catch up with them. I had to drive about 2 miles to get back onto the loop of the tour that we were on.  We were driving up a small hill when low and behold the two gentlemen were coming right at us.

I pulled the van over to the side of the road.  Now picture this, I have two wild and crazy women in my car who are acting like they are teenagers.  They are saying, “It’s him, it’s him, he gorgeous, etc. etc.”  

These casually dressed guys now walked past us. Kyle really doesn’t know the degree of celebrity status that JFK, Jr. has and Kyle is by nature a very shy boy. We all asked Kyle if he would get out of the van and walk over to the 2 men and ask them if they needed any help.  To our surprise Kyle said yes and jumped out of the van.  I watched through the rearview mirror and gave a play by play report.  
“Kyle is now talking to John; John is putting his arm around Kyle’s shoulder; Kyle, John, and William are coming this way”

At that instance, Alison jumped out of the van and opened the rear door.  We all asked John if he needed help.  He stated that he was separated from his tour bus and could we be kind enough to give him a ride.  We of course said yes. They got into the van and proceeded to sit in the very rear seat.  We all introduced ourselves and then it was John’s turn.  He stated, “Hi, I am John and this is my cousin Will.”  No last names, because he knew that we knew that he was JFK, Jr.  

We exchanged small talk; asked him what he was doing in Gettysburg; he asked us the same; I made an innocent comical statement; he responded with a witty answer.  

The trip lasted about 10 minutes and he was exactly as everyone said he was: charming, personable, witty, and very much down to earth—no false airs about him.  We caught up with the bus and we let John and Will out.  At this time a young lady comes up to my side of the car—I rolled down the window to speak with her—it was Caroline Kennedy.  She proceeded to thank us for being so nice and giving “her brother” a ride.  We said our goodbyes.

The punch line is that none of us had a camera to record the event nor did we have a pen to get an autograph.  But in a sense that is how it should have been because we did not make John feel besieged or threatened.  The time that he spent with my family was as relaxing for him as it could have been.  He smiled and he appeared as though he was enjoying the ride in our van.

For a moment a sense of sadness overcame all of us in the van.  It was because we understood what JFK, Jr had to endure when he was in the public eye.  As soon as he walked out of our van, several tourists ran up to him and began badgering him and William for photos and autographs.  As we pulled away in our van we once again saw John with his head down as if he was trying to hide himself from the public eye.</font>

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Dear JLY,

Author's note:  This may not measure up to what a short story should be, I simply wrote this as it happened and thought it would be something of interest for my MM friends to read.

It is a fascinating story, JLY. Thanks for sharing it. It must have seemed quite sureal to see such famous faces walking along the road like that, and to be able to offer help.

Now, what should a short story be? Quite honestly, I have no idea. It may be whatever we like - though we may hope (as in this case) that others also enjoy it. This is not fiction, it is a true story; a memoir perhaps; a journalistic description of an interesting event.

Now I shall have to go and bath my kids, so I will be back to crit more fully tomorrow.

Love,

Fran

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi John

What a fantastic story you have to tell.  Imagine driving along the road and seeing JFK Jr walking towards you.  What I find most interesting is that you were the only one thoughtful enough to stop and offer them help and in such a sensitive manner.

It doesn't really matter whether or not this counts as a short story.  It was a well written fascinating account that kept me very interested right to the end.  In my opinion most important factor in writing a story is to entertain the reader and to leave them feeling satisfied at the end and you certainly did that.

Nina

[JLY]

Fran,
Thanks, looking forward to any comments you may have to offer.
JLY

[JLY]

Nina,
Thanks; it was a fun experience and subsequently I was interviewed on a local radio station about my encounter with John.  He was a very pleasant fellow.
JLY

[Guest_Perrorist_*]

It's most definitely a story, JLY, a true one rather than fiction. More of a memoir or "I was there" account.

You could make it more compelling, but I don't know whether you're asking for a crit or just sharing what must have been an excitng and memorable moment in your life.

Like many of my age, I had a great respect for JFK and vividly remember where I was when he was shot. When he took office, the world seemed full of hope and high ideals (how different it is today) and his death affected us like no death since.

Perry

[Guest_Perrorist_*]

Duh! I've just realised that it's JFK, Jnr you were writing about.

I don't know anything about him...

[Guest_Toumai_*]

Hi again, JLY

I enjoyed this story very much indeed.

I agree with Perry, that it could be more compelling, but as it is it is a lovely memoir to share with family and friends.

I will make a few tentative suggestions (very tentative - use or loose etc - especially in this case cos I'm not used to this kind of writing)

My family met JFK, Jr. on Father’s Day weekend, 1998 in Gettysburg, PA.  
Execellent opening - sets the time and place and main character at once  
How we met is a very interesting, once in a lifetime experience.
This feels like 'telling' - the reader will want to decide if that is the case or not. How about something like: How we met was most surprising ? or intriguing? ... do you get my drift? Set up an interest, and then try to fulfil it as your fill in the details below.

My wife, Alison{’}[,] and son Kyle decided to take a mini[should this be hyphenated?]vacation during {Father’s Day}[that] weekend.  Alison’s best friend, Lynn from Colorado[,] was visiting her sister in Maryland.  {These two}[The] women made arrangements for us to get together for the weekend.  Alison, [twelve-year-old] Kyle {(age 12 at the time),} and I drove down to western Maryland just across the PA line.  We were thinking of what we could do[]---[]option 1, go to Baltimore and visit their waterfront area[,] or option 2, just travel 10 miles and go to Gettysburg and visit the Civil War sites.  We chose Gettysburg because it was closer and we thought it would be interesting and educational for Kyle.

Now, if this is for family and friends - like Lynn from Colorado - then this para is great. If it's for a magazine or somewhere else then you need to cut all the info and names that you can. Alison could become 'my wife' and Lynn and co become 'friends' (don't even have to say from Colorado - distracts from your action in Gettysberg). Kyle is important, and his age, but you could simplify some of the rest.

It {happened to be}[was] a very hot and humid day so we decided to ride in the comfort of our air conditioned van and take the car tour.  
Taking the 'van' on the 'car' tour is a bit confusing (to me, being a bear of very little brain). How about we took our air conditioned vehicle ? or, better yet, name the make? Our air-conditioned xyz ?

{On the car tour, y}[Y]ou can only go in one direction [on the car tour][]—[]all of the roads are one way.  We were driving along when we noticed 2 gentlemen walking towards our direction.  They appeared {as though they were}[to be] either lost or {they needed}[in need of] some assistance.  One of them was looking down to the ground as if he did not want to be seen.  We were now {almost} adjacent to them and each of us in the van (with the exception of Kyle) recognized that one of them was William Kennedy Smith and then it all clicked for us{,}[:] the other man was JFK, Jr.

{Now at this time they had walked past us and were now}[By now they were] behind us.  I could not turn around because it was one way, [so] I decided to catch up with them. I had to drive about 2 miles to get back onto the loop of the tour that {we}[they] were on.  We were driving up a small hill when[,] lo{w} and behold[,] the two gentlemen were coming right at us.
'Coming right at us' sounds like they are charging down the middle of the road - might sound better to say something like 'in front of us again' ?

I pulled the van over to the side of the road.  Now[,] picture this{,}[:] I have two wild and crazy women in my car who are acting like they are teenagers{.}[;] {T}[t]hey are saying, “It’s him, it’s him, he gorgeous, etc. etc.”  
The 'etc' seems to loose a bit of the excitement? Would an exclamation mark after 'gorgeous' add to the excietment?

These casually[-] dressed guys now walked past us. Kyle really doesn’t know the degree of celebrity status that JFK, Jr. has and Kyle is by nature a very shy boy. We all asked {Kyle}[him] if he would get out of the van and walk over to the 2 men and ask them if they needed any help.  To our surprise {Kyle}[he] said yes and jumped out {of the van}.  I watched through the rearview mirror and gave a play by play report.  
“Kyle is now talking to John; John is putting his arm around Kyle’s shoulder; Kyle, John, and William are coming this way”
Lovely picture of what is happening. Should 'play by play' be hyphenated?

{At that instanc{e}[t], }Alison jumped out of the van and opened the rear door.  We all asked John if he needed help.  He {stated}[said] that he was separated from his tour bus and could we be kind enough to give him a ride.  We[,] of course[,] said yes. They got into the van and {proceeded to sit}[sat] in the very rear seat.  We all introduced ourselves and then it was John’s turn.  He stated, “Hi, I am John and this is my cousin Will.”  No last names, because he knew that we knew that he was JFK, Jr.  

We exchanged small talk; asked him what he was doing in Gettysburg; he asked us the same; I made an innocent comical statement; he responded with a witty answer.
Can you remember any of the small talk? Telling us 'he responded with a witty answer' leaves us wondering what it was?

The trip lasted about 10 minutes and he was exactly as everyone said he was: charming, personable, witty, and very much down to earth[]—[]no false airs about him.  We caught up with the bus and we let John and Will out.  At this time a young lady comes up to my side of the car[]—[]I rolled down the window to speak with her[]—[]it was Caroline Kennedy.  She {proceeded to thank}[thanked] us for being so nice and giving “her brother” a ride.  We said our goodbyes.

The punch line is that none of us had a camera to record the event nor did we have a pen to get an autograph.  But in a sense that is how it should have been because we did not make John feel besieged or threatened.  The time that he spent with my family was as relaxing for him as it could have been.  He smiled and he appeared as though he was enjoying the ride in our van.
This is such a wonderful picture.

For a moment a sense of sadness overcame all of us in the van.  It was because we understood what JFK, Jr had to endure when he was in the public eye.  As soon as he {walked}[stepped] out of our van, several tourists ran up to him and began badgering him and William for photos and autographs.  As we pulled away {in our van} we once again saw John with his head down as if he was trying to hide himself from the public eye.

JLY, this is so poignant and an excellent study of the effects of fame and public behaviour.

I think I have been very tough with this crit - so please remember that the ideas are all my own and are only suggestions, mostly to smooth the flow.

Fran

[JLY]

Fran,
Thanks so much for taking the time to revisit this story.  We will slowly and thoughtfully digest your comments and I am sure that many of them will be an improvement for my story.
JLY

[JLY]

Revision posted on 5/9/07.
JLY

[Judi]

This is a wonderful story, and I can vouch for the fact that the Kennedy men are very charming...my cousin Beth is married to Joe Kennedy (Bobby Kennedy's son) and he is a great guy...so unassuming and sweet, and he and Beth are very happily married. He and Beth are coming to our Family Reunion we are having in NJ in August.....I will be happy to see them both! Judi

[Guest_Kathy_*]

That's a lovely story, JLY. I am saddened to hear that others did not treat him the way you did, which seems entirely natural to me. People are just people; celebrity is an artificial thing which exists to promote the promoters.

[JLY]

Judi,
Wow, what a small world. Thanks for stopping by to read my story; I wrote it pretty much as it happened, it was not something I planned to right, so some of the bumps are just a by-product of trying to capture an honest recollection of my experience.
JLY

[JLY]

Kathy,
I agree with you completely on your take of how the general public is overbearing with celebrity-type people. Our experience was an enjoyable one and my son, now that he is 22, appreciates it even more.

JLY

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Hey there JLY,

I'm a little late in reading this but so it often goes with prose. I enjoyed reading your acount of your small event very much. I would not know how to make suggestions on this type of write so will just comment on the process.

There was mention of this being more compelling. This is probably true but nothing to sweat about on a quick write like that. When I write any story I tend to just let my thoughts explode on the page, rambling on as ideas come to me. Then I'll walk away from it for a few hours, months, or even years. Sometimes I'll do that several times before I feel something is finished.

You had some humorous parts that bring it more life. Hopefully, if you do revise, you'll be able to expand with that. Your description of things added greatly to the 'mind visual'.

Someone once told me that I did too much explaining in my writing and should add more dialogue. In a story such as this you wouldn't really need a lot but adding more of what you did do would also spice it up a bit.

What I really liked was how you worded this like you were having a conversation with someone over a cup of coffee. It gives the feeling of bringing the reader into your world and making them feel at home. There is much honesty in writing out the event as you did that warms the reader at the core.

Very enjoyable account you have given here.
~~ Jackie

[JLY]

Jackie,
Thanks for taking the time. Your assessment of my story is right on the money. I wrote it very informally as if I was telling a friend about it over a cup of coffee. I wanted it to be very easy to read because I wrote it just as it happened. I didn't add anything to spice it up. It is what it is.
JLY

[4rum]

Quite a coincidence to find your story this morning. I just watched a documentary on the Kennedy family yesterday. It started with the foundling Kennedys and covered the triumphs and tradgedys all the way through the loss of John Jr. in the recent plane crash.

The Kennedy legacy with always be with us. Your story is a wonderful contemporary glimpse of one ofthe gentler moments JFK might have had. Thanks for a touching look back.

[JLY]

Sam,
Thanks for stopping by. It was a great experience for my family and we found John Jr to be a very sincere, warm, and charming person. We only had a few moments with him, but our initial impression was extremely positive.

JLY

[AMETHYST]

Hi John,

You know I don't normally read through the posts in Stonehenge (mostly because I can't get through long reading material anymore - but this read so easy to me, I didn't get confused mid-way as I often do and the story held just enough anticipation to keep the reader intrigued with that 'what is going to happen next' and yet, wasn't too much, where it felt forced. The story itself was so pleasing that I actually reread it again to check for anything to critique and found myself (just reading along again) forgetting that I was looking for spots to improve on. I suppose that in itself is the biggest compliment I can offer for this.

I will try to return with some suggestions here and there, but again, nothing stumbled my read or jumped out to me on either read.



Hugs, Liz

[JLY]

Liz,
Glad you enjoyed the read and the ease with which you read it says volumes of good things to me.
Thanks.
JLY