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Sekhmet
post Mar 1 09, 13:00
Post #1


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Wednesday April 19th, 2006. It was reported on that morning's 8 o'clock BBC Radio 4 News broadcast, that the authorities in China were thought to have been removing organs taken from hundreds of newly executed prisoners, and selling them to the W est. There is some doubt about whether or not the prisoners were asked their permission, prior to execution, for the removal of their organs.
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Wednesday19 April 2006
Po-Mi lies curled miserably upon the greasy floor of his cell. Around him, his fellow prisoners squat, spitting tobacco, and slapping home-made mah-jong tiles onto the baked earth; each move accompanied by hoarse shouts of triumph or despair.
Their cell is constructed simply, from iron bars and concrete. There is no privacy, and nowhere to hide.
Attracted by the stench from the over-flowing bucket in the comer, flies buzz incessantly, endlessly, round and around.
When the flies suddenly turn in the air to re-form around him, Po-Mi takes no notice. His bowels spasm yet again, soiling his already stinking undergarments. He prays that his moment will soon come. Soon, it will all be over.
Soon, the guards will come with the electric cattle goads, force him to his feet, and drag him to the execution Yard.
Po-Mi thinks of Mi-Lee, his young wife -and how she will feed their little girls without his hours of labour. He can only think of one way, and his soul is sad.
Two guards enter the cell, sniff, and regard him with disgust. One kicks Po-Mi savagely in the kidneys. Po-Mi vomits over the other guard’s feet. But he is past shame or even caring.
.”You filthy, disgusting sod!'' one of them screams into his face. He yanks Po-Mi to his feet.
None of his cell mates look up from their game to mark his departure.
With his feet tailing limply behind him, he is dragged screaming from his cell, and into the execution yard where he is forced to his knees'
As the axe falls, his thoughts fly ahead of his spirit, to alight upon his beloved wife,Mi-Lee.

Thursday 20th April. A private clinic. somewhere in the Home Counties.

Sir Nigel Gascoigne's troubled sleep is momentarily disturbed by the thwack, thwack, thwack of the helicopter's rotor blades as it lands, gently, on the clinic's helipad.
His nurse smilingly checks his pulse against the watch pinned to her starched white apron, and nods reassuringly.
An orderly, dressed in immaculate whites, emerges from the clinic's rear entrance, and rushes, bent double, towards the chopper. He is carrying a large, rather cumbersome insulated box.
He ducks beneath the slowly gyrating blades, and holding down his combed-over hair with one hand, he takes charge of a small package.
With a minimum of delay, he transfers the package into the insulated container, and hurries back into the clinic, where it's arrival is eagerly awaited by the senior Transplant Surgeon.

The package is opened with care, and the contents are held by the Theatre Sister, for the consultant surgeon's inspection.
He examines the kidney with latex gloved fingers; prodding and peering, with an anxious frown, at a small discoloured area.
”" Don't like the look of this, Sister." He murmurs, shaking his head, and pointing distractedly at the darkened area on the kidney. "There's been a certain amount of trauma here - d'you see? And quite recent too by the look of it!"
He hums under his breath for a moment - thinking. There are a few moments of silence.
“Yes!” He has reached his decision. “ I can excise the damaged area, without damaging the kidney's function.
Sister, please have Sir Nigel prepped for the theatre at sixteen hundred hours.”

Whistling a jaunty air, he leaves the prep room, still humming, and thinking the $100,000 was money well spent.


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Guest_ohsteve_*
post Mar 25 09, 14:22
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Leo, I am not one who knows a lot about writing prose. But to me this was well done, the buying and selling and stealing of organs for transplant.. a very nasty business. This is very plausable from the taking of the organs from half beaten prisoners in China to the buying and completely different enviorment of antiseptic hospital with greedy Doc and his off hand manner of damage of the organ, to the fact that he willo probably over charge his patient by several hundred thousand.
I have read several off shoots on a variation of this, one author called them "organleggers" another had the organs coming from condemed criminals, or was that a Twilight Zone episode? Good story anyways....
Steve
 
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Sekhmet
post May 25 09, 01:29
Post #3


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Good morning Steve - thank you for Visiting Stonehenge, and reading, 'Back to Back'. Obviously, I have no knowledge of conditions in Chinese jails - but I can imagine.
I heard the BBC broadcast in 2006 - which featured a news report about the removal from executed Chinese prisoners of vital organs - for sale, and eventual transport, to Western Transplant Clinics.
I was so horrified by the report that I sat down and wrote this story.
Much later, I was struck by the thought that, possibly a kidney, (which was no longer of use to its original owner) might just as well be used - to save some one's life.
A tricky moral decision.
Take care, Leo


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Thoth
post Aug 29 09, 16:55
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Hey Leo,

I was quite taken by the story having not heard of the practice before (I don't follow the news too closely as it depresses me)

Like Steve I feel unqualified to crit prose but it seemed professionally written to me and the images were very sharp and realistic. The only nit was a detail issue. If the subject was so weak (from disentary I guess) I doubt that he would have the energy to scream very much. The organ would probably show signs of disease as well.

The government would likely receive a list of tissue types and organs needed in the west and then match them with those of the livestock in hand (prisoners)
The thought gives me the shivers. After what I have recently come through, I am a little sensitive to surgery and doctors.

Wally


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Sekhmet
post Aug 30 09, 01:53
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Good morning Wally - Thank you so much for reading this short story. I take your point that Po-mi's kidney may well have been damaged by dysentery - why didn't I think of that?
Back in 2006, I was sometimes asked to write short plays for our local teenage drama group. I was sickened when I heard that particular News item on the BBC.
The reported Chinese practice of removing organs taken from newly executed prisoners;and selling them to the West, filled me with such indignation, that I sat down and wrote this story; having in the back of my mind the idea for a youth play.
I am sad to say that idleness on my part meant that the play was never written.
On reflection, I now think that it is possibly the lesser of two evils to make use of a what, otherwise, would be a wasted kidney - to save the recipient's life. A knotty ethical problem.
Thanks again.
Leo


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Charon
post Sep 23 09, 20:23
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I return to my old haunts and this is my first read.

Disturbing, very much so that I had to read up on how to comment under the new rules Cleo has stamped on the place.

You have chosen an unusual topic however, I enjoyed the style - presenting one side and then flipping the reader - so to speak - to the other side of the equation. Therefore, to say I enjoyed the story - no way, did I enjoy the trip - stout stomach was required, did you make me think - absolutely, was it a success - most definitely.

Well done writer.


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Guest_Ishmael_*
post Sep 24 09, 08:54
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Sekhmet, I think you should make this piece longer. At the moment it seems like everything is crammed in to make a particular point. If you were to extend the whole thing then the characters could be given more room to breathe. In short fiction you should always make every word count, but in this case I think you should take a little more time to develop the character of Po-Mi so that the reader can develop some sort of attachment to him. It would make the second section far more powerful.
 
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Sekhmet
post Sep 27 09, 03:45
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Good morning Butch - Well. fancy that! It is so great to encounter some new faces amongst the dank, windswept arches of Stonehenge.
I thank you for finding the time to read, 'Back to Back' - and even more thanks for your positive crit.
I had hoped to provoke a feeling of disgust - and it seems that I have succeeded in my aim.
Good wishes, Leo


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Sekhmet
post Sep 27 09, 04:05
Post #9


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Good morning Ishmael - and my grateful thanks for checking out , 'Back to Back'.
Of course normally, you would have been right. I would have attempted to develop my main character, by giving him as much depth as the short story format will allow.
But on this particular occasion, I wanted Po-Mi to represent, 'Everyman'. That is - every single person who has had their kidneys and other transplant-able organs forcibly removed after their execution in China.
Their permission was neither asked for, nor given.
There must be so many stories from the death cells of China - and I wanted Po-Mi to represent all those unwilling organ donors.
I deliberately kept his personality sketchy, in the hope of making him a universal subject.

It is good to meet you in this rather neglected corner of MM -
Good wishes,
Leo


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