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To Rena, with her unseen tentacles
that slithered up too closely to my Dad.
You were an ugly version of my Mother,
a shadowy receptionist who had

proclaimed herself, not looking for a man.
I worked beside you every summer— my
girlish instincts screamed a shrill alert.
Your Christmas gift to us was mounted high

above the mantle. Mom pretended that
she liked the water scene—but then forgot
to pack it when the house was sold. She knew
Dad's drawers were full of clothes she hadn't bought,

but washed away the hurtful thought. For years
she lulled unanswered questions into slumber,
allaying past suspicions—unlike me
who checked through every call and had your number.

Oh my goodness Karen, I LOVE this - the view of a child's perception of an affair and the smooth, unintrusive ways you draw out the subject without actually throwing your reader into it. You do a lot of show here. A very difficult task, and yet, it feels so natural to the ear and mind.

There is much to rave about in this, starting with the title, as it has purpose and adds much information to the relevence of the poems meaning. I have to admit, the first line, made me think this was going to be a weird poem about monsters and I cannot tell you how pleasantly surprised and completely hooked in by the 2nd line. Your use of emjambments, and meter is lovely. Unfortunately, I have now read this 12 times, going on my 13th in a minute for last minute recheck - and could only find S1L2 to nit pick about- I also have some feedback to offer on each stanza that is working for me.

This is a must read poem, that has caught me by surprise.

Best Regards, Liz ...



I felt opening with the name immediately gives the reader a sense of interest. Makes it personal somehow. L2, is the only point inwhich I felt a slight fumble in meter. Although up/to are meant to have more stress, they sound too light to my ear.

'that SLITHered up too CLOSEly to my DAD"

perhaps 'that slithered secretly against my DAD' or actually I'll come back with something better for your consideration, in all actuality, what you have isn't bad. at all.
I LOVE L3 and 4.



in L3, I enjoyed the nice meter glide into the double iamb -



There is so much more going on in this stanza just beneath the words - you've really offered a piece of movement and behind the scenes detail, such as how you've shown the mother's suspicions, the clues she never missed, but never admitted she caught - which in itself, says so much of the woman she was, her strengths, her steadfast sense of duty - her love.




The final stanza really tops this whole poem with the cherry on the top. Especially the duality of the final line. ' and had your number.' GREAT POEM! Really, great work.

Best Regards, Liz

Hi Karen

It is great to see you here again - your poetry never disappoints!
I love this one from start to finish.

To Rena, with her unseen tentacles
that slithered up too closely to my Dad.
You were an ugly version of my Mother,
a shadowy receptionist who had

I like the fact that 'she' is named from the start here. The tentacles and slithered were beautifully misleading!

I too stumbled a bit on the meter in L2 - easily fixed, perhaps

that slithered much too closely to my Dad

'much' has just a little more stress than 'up'

proclaimed herself, not looking for a man.
I worked beside you every summer— my
girlish instincts screamed a shrill alert.
Your Christmas gift to us was mounted high

above the mantle. Mom pretended that
she liked the water scene—but then forgot
to pack it when the house was sold. She knew
Dad's drawers were full of clothes she hadn't bought,

but washed away the hurtful thought. For years
she lulled unanswered questions into slumber, I love this line!
allaying past suspicions—unlike me
who checked through every call and had your number.

Great double meaning in the last line as well as others. This has such a natural flow - rhymes are unobtrussive (hard to do). Another fantastic poem, Karen!

Snow