Detainee-Abu Ghraib-Iraq, X10 Challenge Options

[Sekhmet]

[u]  untitled_Abu_Ghraib.bmp ( 345.17K ) Number of downloads: 5



Detainee - Abu Ghraib - Iraq



He stumbles, numbly; … dumbly bemused,

into the echoing, stuccoed - dankly dripping,

water- hissing shower block;

wherein, detainees correct the effects

of their nights of fright, and final nightmare-laden

release, from 'death' by water-boarding.

Daylight forcing him to return for yet another shift

within that place of visual deprivation, and visceral

reprisal; which follows his denial

of knowledge.

No trial.

Just an inquiring military guy doing his, 'duty'.





Words used: follows, correct, release, return,effects, shift, place, visual, duty, shower.

[Alan]

Dear Leo,

3 comments.

a) ouch
b) I tried earlier with these words and found nothing I wanted to say
c) BRILLIANT !

Love
Alan

[merle]

Hi Leo -

I really like this. The complete hopelessness of the prisoner comes through as well as the indifference of the soldier doing his 'duty'. It recently came to light (on the news) that my government uses the same torture on detainees. In fact, one man was water-boarded up to five times a day over a three year time span. It's horrific!

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Leo, but- but- but- we was only followin' orders, we done nuttin' wrong.
America right or wrong... Love it or leave it. After all we aren't barbarians. Hmm sound a lot like what the Nazi's said during the Nurmberg trails. And now with the formation of Homeland Security we seem to have abrogated all our rights and freedoms. This is not the America I envisioned when growing up, nor is it the one I want for my children's children. A wonderful piece picking out that we are not the ones to cry fowl with our hand dirty with these sort of deeds.
I guess innocent until proven guilty is not the case any more.

Steve

[Sekhmet]

Good morning Alan - Thanks for that, 'Ouch!' - Exactly the reaction I was hoping to achieve. I am so ashamed when I read that the country I love has allowed itself to stoop to torture as a matter of military policy; not just, as in past, an instance of the failure of human discipline.
Love, Leo

[Alan]

Dear Leo,

While I agree with that, I also have a perverse thought. What was done was exactly what the enemy does - terror, fear, beheadings etc.

I bet they respect us a lot more for OUR similar actions that for the wishy-washy hand-wringing which is our usual response - ie don't have xmas trees in case it offends - THEY want miniarets everywhere in the West, don't care a damn about offending us.

They KNOW that a fine religion is one to be BOASTED about, and we cringe about ours instead.

Love
Alan

[Sekhmet]

Hi Merle - I have this ,'soap' box' upon which I climb when the News is particularly horrific -
 soapbox.jpg ( 16.91K ) Number of downloads: 0


The words of the 10X challenge was an absolute gift to illustrate the recent shaming pix of torture at Abu Ghraib.
Thank you kindly for your input - this Water-Boarding sounds just like a fun beach sport - which is a prime example of pure, 'New-Speak' from HG Wells's 1984.
Love, Leo

[Sekhmet]

Hi Alan - I think we are basically in agreement!
It is my belief that any religion, ( but in particular, Bible based religions, with their strong emphasis on sound ethical and humanitarian principles,) have no need to force themselves upon those who believe in different Gods. Their intrinsic rightness will, eventually, become obvious.

But the very second we abandon the moral high-ground, by stooping to torture to enforce our principles, we, and our beliefs, become besmirched.

If it is evil for one, misguided, religion based, regime to use torture to further its purposes - it follows that it must be equally wrong for any other regime to resort to torture.

If we yell, 'They started it!' we are back to the politics of the school yard.
Torture is either right - in which case, we accept it, and join in with what is being done in the rest of the world.
Or, torture is unacceptable to our religious beliefs - in which case, we do not torture; whatever the provocation.
Love, Leo

[Sekhmet]

Hi Steve - Yep! it's the same old story! And we can all understand how it happens.
In the heat of battle, soldiers see good friends killed by,'the enemy' - and, 'the enemy' becomes less than human in their eyes.
Every member of the enemy nation becomes a potential killer - he or she might know something vital to the safety of your unit.
We have to force them to tell what they know.
And normal honorable men and women become torturers. And they have the perfect excuse, that echoes down the centuries: "I was only obeying orders."
We've seen it before - As a child of WW2, I still, after all these years, have a strong residual fear of the word, 'German' - although I have met many delightful German people. But my early indoctrination, by the radio, movies hiding from the German bombs, as they fell all around us, warped my childish mind into believing that all Germans were monsters.
Thanks for reading and commenting upon Abu Ghraib.
Love, Leo

[Siren]

Hello Sekhmet,

I believe this is my first comment on your work. I have read you before though.

What drew me was the topic title, and then I entered the wonder of your precise description of a sad face of justice-humanity....

This read smoothly to me except I kind of stumbled on those lines:

of their nighs of fright, and final nightmare-laden

release, from "death" by water-boarding.

the parts where i emphasized in block was where I stumbled... perhaps you can put them in the same line to continue the thought because to me it read chopped. nightmare-laden is already too wordy to end a line with.. so that is why i thought you could do this:

of their nights of fright, and

final nightmar-laden release, from "death"

by water-boarding.

Just a thought/ suggestion...

I read through the discussion here... there have been distant members of families of the people I know who have been guests in that place.... From the distance you can hear the atrocities of what went on there. It hits much more close to home. when you can put a face you personally know in that situation.

Thank you for such a captivating read.

Dani

[Sekhmet]

Hello Siren - Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my, 'protest' poem. It's good to meet you. I'll give some thought to your suggestion of rearranging the lines - I am fairly new to free verse, and tend to break lines where I feel most comfortable. But I can see that there are many possibilities, so thanks for your suggestion.
Leo

[Siren]

Hello Leo,

It's a pleasure to meet you too. My name is Daniah pronounced (dan-yah)... am also known as dani... everyone has his/her style that is why possibilities are so numerous.

I truly enjoyed this read... Looking forward to more interactions.

Dani

[Sekhmet]

Daniah is a beautiful name - I'll use it in future if I may.
I am glad that this poem has found favour with someone who has personal knowledge about the situation in Iraq.
Leo

[Guest_Dan Culleton_*]

Thank for addressing this issue in poetry. It's not an easy thing to do, but I thought you did it well.
-Dan

[Sekhmet]

Hello Dan - It was good of you to look in, and make a positive comment on this poem.
I see that you are a newcomer to this site - so a slightly belated warm welcome.
As you might already have noticed, M.M. offers its members the opportunity to take part in monthly and weekly, 'Challenges'; wherein a poem or sometimes a piece of prose has to be constructed around a, 'given' series of words, book titles or a picture etc.
'Detainee' was the result of one of these challenges - once I had seen the given words, it almost wrote itself.
Thanks again - Leo

[saore]

Leo I like the subject and the briefness of words. There is no drama, but there is a lot of tension, in the poem.

Sergio

[Sekhmet]

Hi Sergio - many thanks for your comments - You are so right; sometimes brevity and lack of drama is all that is necessary when the subject is full of its own tension.
Thank you for taking the time to read this verse.
Leo