Last Train ** (few changes - still open to suggestions), Nostalgia Options

[Eisa]

Last Train

The caravan was dusty and Mum
scoured all the plates before we ate.
I longed to sprawl in nearby dunes, sheltered
from the wind, then paddle in the surf.

Merging with drizzle we braved
the fairground, hunched in raincoats.
Our King Charlie dog kept dry, goggle eyes
peering out of Mum's large shopping bag.

A treat was eating at the Lobster Pot Cafe,
with fishing net decor. Our window seats
overlooked boats undulating in the harbour;
plates piled with vinegar doused plaice and chips

Slumped in lumpy beds, gas lights flickering
we listened to the hired radio, cheering
when Lonnie Donegan and his Skiffle Group sang -
Last train to San Fernando, last train to San Fernando

Clowning, Dad joined in with falsetto voice -
If you miss this one, you'll never get another one
Bee-dee-bee-dee-boom-boom to San Fernando.
We laughed, gasping into our pillows.

Today those familiar strains blast out
from You-tube. Forty years later they divorced.
Now both have travelled on in separate seats,
aboard their last train.


---------------------------------------------------------------

stanza 1 was:

The caravan was unpretentious and Mum
scoured all the crockery before we ate.
I hoped to sprawl in nearby dunes, sheltered
from the wind, then paddle in the surf.

last stanza was:

[Psyche]

Oh my, Eira, this is so engaging, as well as very British! Not sure it really happens in Britain, because there's that "Last train to San Fernando..." bit. From a song? I don't know those singers.
Can you tell me what or who is "King Charlie"? I've more questions, but it's so late!

Your finale brought tears to my eyes. I'm always surprised when people divorce after 40 years, same as when they do after 2 years...But after 40 yrs. the family can probably bear with it far better than little children.

This stanza is heart-breaking, nonetheless. Especially the last part...aboard their last train...

Today these familiar strains envelop me
in bitter-sweet memories. Forty years later
they divorced. Now both have travelled on
in separate seats, aboard their last train.

I'll have to come back.
Hugs,
Syl***

[Eisa]

Oh my, Eira, this is so engaging, as well as very British! Not sure it really happens in Britain, because there's that "Last train to San Fernando..." bit. From a song? I don't know those singers.
Can you tell me what or who is "King Charlie"? I've more questions, but it's so late!

Your finale brought tears to my eyes. I'm always surprised when people divorce after 40 years, same as when they do after 2 years...But after 40 yrs. the family can probably bear with it far better than little children.

This stanza is heart-breaking, nonetheless. Especially the last part...aboard their last train...

Today these familiar strains envelop me
in bitter-sweet memories. Forty years later
they divorced. Now both have travelled on
in separate seats, aboard their last train.

I'll have to come back.
Hugs,
Syl***

Hi Syl,

our 'King Charlie' was our King Charles Spaniel dog LOL! That memory is so vivid!
This is a poem that's been in the pot for some time and recently I had inspiration to get thoughts into words.


The song 'Last Train to San Fernando' was popular in the fifties and had a very catchy tune that you can listen to here(it's a different singer though)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PszSocNLxY

I had thought that having them divorce at that age would be easier than childhood, but it really hit me very hard. Very sad!

Hugs
Eira

[Psyche]

Thank you, Eira, for explaining those parts.
We never forget our dogs. I believe I could make a list of all the dogs I've had since childhood. Very far back, I remember a tiny, spotted dog that got kicked by a horse. I was so upset. I ran up the stairs to tell my mother, but it was too late.
Horses hate being barked at, and small dogs are so barky. It wasn't the only one. A horse's kick is powerful.

I've just listened to "Last train to San Fernando", tx! Then wasted time on other fav oldies. Mustn't go to UTube...LOL.

The divorce must have been so sad for you. One shouldn't make comparisons. Different ages, different traumas.

I don't have any nits. I'm glad you picked this poem out of the pot. Inspiration is back!!!

BTW, why can this poem of memories be in past tense, except for the last stanza, whereas some have suggested that my own childhood remembrances would be better in present tense? I love the way you've used the tenses. Shall check out my own, try to understand the difference.

Hugs, Syl***

[Eisa]

Hi Syl,

Yes You tube can be rather addictive!!

I have made a few small changes to this but not sure if they are for the better.

All I need now is to get some other poems out of the pot!

I think the difference here is that the last verse is in present and the rest of the poem is looing back into the past. Your poem is the same tense all through (if I remember) I'll call back to see.

Eira