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Kisses from the Hearth, Sonnet from another site's pictorial challenge |
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Oct 30 14, 09:23
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,376
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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I belong to a few poetry sites and saw a pictorial challenge of an animated fireplace (much too late to participate). One couldn't mention fire or flame in the poem/prose answer but the muse hit me and this is what I got from the challenge:
First Revision - Thanks Lori
Kisses from The Hearth
Awakening with just a breath of air, her resurrection from a dreamless sleep is slow and subtle. Arms reach out to share a warm embrace which, hopefully, will keep you near her crimson lips. Soft amber eyes will tease you with a quick flirtatious wink, then fluttering they strive to hypnotize. That sinuous ballet will make you think of some exotic dancer from the east... a cunning ploy devised to lure you near. She’s nothing but a monster and a beast you feed or cage because of primal fear. Those fleeting visions fade within your head; for titillating tongues will leave you dead.
L7 did read: Curvaceous dance, with limbs that make you think L9: Changed "goddess" to "dancer" L10 did read: is nothing but a ploy to lure you near.
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Oct 30 14, 11:38
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 369
Joined: 10-May 11
From: Outskirts of Sonoran Desert
Member No.: 4,480
Real Name: JerryK
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
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I like this write very much, Larry. Maybe I'm too much into the spirit of upcoming Halloween, but I feel the supernatural radiating from your fireplace. There's something about making a fire and watching it grow that had always mesmerized mankind. My saddle club cronies plan on building a big bonfire in the desert. But we won't douse it with beer; that's reserved for us guys. No critic from me, my friend. Kisses from the hearth is a wonderful title, and to liken the flame to an enticing woman rings my chime. Wishing you a great Halloween, Jerry
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Oct 30 14, 17:25
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,376
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Jerry,
Thanks for the visit and the nice words. I always loved a nice fire in the fireplace or (especially) in the great out of doors while camping, fishing or just having a weenie/marshmallow roast.
Enjoy your holiday and I'm glad your prior note about "quitting" was merely exasperation because of your malady.
Larry
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Nov 7 14, 16:00
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 8,875
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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Hi Larry,
I too sense a Halloween-ish wicked, female power emanating from your fireplace. Some super-natural forces in those flames you were not allowed to mention.
Hearths certainly hypnotize. As a child, I'd sit in front of ours and dream up fantasies whilst watching the changing red coals or fire. Same with campfires...
Certainly fits in with Halloween, whatever sort of beast or monster needs to be caged!
Glad I stepped in here. Wish more members would show up.
Cheers, Syl***
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Nov 7 14, 17:17
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,376
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Syl,
Glad you dropped in for a read and comment. I, too, wish more people would come to visit or post or ?????.
Didn't mean for this to be Halloween-ish; just a feeling I always get when staring into a fireplace or campfire. The flames seem to dance and move and "off I go" into never-never land.
Thanks and I'm happy my poem gave you the same feelings I have.
Larry
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Nov 10 14, 08:14
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi Larry, How are you? I always enjoy reading your poetry and your title selections definitely draw me in! Oh, I love the ending - not what I expected! There are just few lines I noted for your review below. Curvaceous dance, with limbs that make you think --> I wonder if you'd consider a replacement for the word limbs? Perhaps moves?of some exotic goddess from the east, is nothing but a ploy to lure you near. --> I wonder if there is a sub for the words 'is' and 'nothing (since using it again later)'? Maybe 'It's only just a ploy to lure you near'?She’s nothing but a monster and a beast you feed or cage because of primal fear.Nice!!!!
Enjoyed the read Larry!
Cheers, ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Nov 11 14, 00:14
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,376
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Lori,
I'm doing fine but am very busy with our crafts. This is our busiest time of the year so we work hard to replace what we have sold the prior week.
Your suggestions did cause me to think about redundancy and word usage so I did a couple of changes which I hope you will like.
Larry
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Nov 11 14, 13:46
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi Larry, I am beyond busy myself - I wish you well with your crafts! I am debating whether to post the holiday contest this year since the forum is less active these days. I do like all three changes and love it! Well done! ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Nov 11 14, 20:06
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,376
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Lori,
Glad you liked the changes. It's doubtful I'll receive any more critiques due to the extreme lax attendance in these forums.
I'd say forget about the holiday contest. If there are more than three entries, I'd be surprised. I'm working on a sonnet now that I was going to post in the next few day about the fall season and its gaudy display of leafs changing colors. Working out a few kinks in the format and rhyme scheme but I'll get there eventually.
Larry
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Nov 12 14, 07:44
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi Larry, I look forward to reading your newest sonnet! I am working on one too. Cheers, ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Nov 12 14, 14:47
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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I cannot comment, 'cause my tongue was burnt from touching yours. You'd think I woulda learnt! Lightly, Daniel
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Nov 17 14, 15:16
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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LOL
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Apr 29 15, 07:46
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Creative Chieftain
Group: Centurion
Posts: 2,587
Joined: 9-August 03
From: Australia
Member No.: 17
Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry
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G'day Larry, old mate.
Long time since I metre.
There is plenty of fire in the woman and plenty of woman in the fire.
As you politely muse.
Regards,
John
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