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> Jeoffry ~ Revised 20 June 2007, a flash response
Cleo_Serapis
post May 28 07, 11:00
Post #1


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Stimulus: A fragment from Kit Smart's Jubilate Agno:

"For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry.
For he is the servant of the Living God duly and daily serving him.
For at the first glance of the glory of God in the East he worships in his way.
For this is done by wreathing his body seven times round with elegant quickness.
For then he leaps up to catch the musk, which is the blessing of God upon his prayer.
For he rolls upon prank to work it in...."





kitty.gif Jeoffry kitty.gif

He is sleek unto himself,
blending onyx and brilliance.

Seven - that magic number -
seven times he wreaths
his agile frame to the East,
ascends on haunch hopes;
no more, no less.

Toward latent stars he arcs
in complementary prayer,
and sheaths his domain with
spindrifts of nature’s musk.

Friends frolic in the grassy knoll
to mark their place in society
then yield to his presence: exercising
their position in his kingdom.

He crouches low and slowly
advances amongst his
camouflaged backdrop;
a transient salutation
that shadows pranks of the day…

then quietly sneaks back
to the comfort of a cushy couch
and moons himself to sleep.

A god made unto himself,
he blends onyx and brilliance.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter




Original:

He is sleek upon himself,
blending onyx with brilliance.

Seven - that magic number -
seven times he wreaths
his agile frame to the East,
ascending on haunch hopes;
no more, no less.

Toward latent stars he arcs,
and sheaths his domain
with the musk of nature’s scent.

Friends frolic in the grassy knoll
marking their place in society,
yielding his presence, exercising
their position in his kingdom.

A god made unto himself,
he ponders the pranks of today…
then quietly sneaks back
to the comforts of a cushy couch
and suns himself to sleep.

He is sleek upon himself,
blending onyx with brilliance.


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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bbnixon
post May 30 07, 06:04
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Hi Lori,

I loved this when I read in the flash challenge.. I guess my only nit is the "ings"...perhaps look to see if any of those can be replaced....I love this poem....

:) brenda


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Eisa
post May 30 07, 07:09
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Hi Lori

This is wonderful -- I have read it a few times before replying as I can find nothing to change. It is tightly well written. The only suggestion I can make at present is tightening

marking their place in society,

to
marking their society placement/position
,


I love many lines, but especially

to the comforts of a cushy couch

This has been a pleasure to read.

Snow Snowflake.gif


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Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal.
Write from the heart - it's therapeutic.
Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin!

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!

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Judi
post May 30 07, 09:55
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Hi Lori....Love this poem and can relate to it. I had a cat named inky who could be this cat...

I wondered if your first lline "He is sleek upon himself," could be "unto himself "

I know you have used "unto himself" later in the poem, but "upon" somehow doesn't sound as good as "unto" in that first line...maybe some kind of change there? I have no other concerns...Judi


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Psyche
post May 30 07, 11:59
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Hi Lori!
Love this one! Of course, I can't resist anything about cats! Mine is Siamese, and the best cat in the world, natch'!!!! She's called Scarlett...

QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ May 28 07, 18:00 ) [snapback]96868[/snapback]
kitty.gif Jeoffry kitty.gif

He is sleek upon himself, Not sure about 'upon'...somebody suggested 'unto'?
blending onyx with brilliance.

Seven - that magic number - Do you need L1, Lori?
seven times he wreaths
his agile frame to the East,
ascending on haunch hopes; Cool!!!
no more, no less.

Toward latent stars he arcs,
and sheaths his domain
with the musk of nature’s scent. Lovely stanza, Lori.

Friends frolic in the grassy knoll
marking their place in society,
yielding his presence, exercising
their position in his kingdom. Just so!

A god made unto himself,
he ponders the pranks of today…
then quietly sneaks back
to the comforts of a cushy couch
and suns himself to sleep. HAHA....very good, Lori!

He is sleek upon himself,
blending onyx with brilliance.


Great poem about your cat, beautifully written. As you see, hardly any nits, and they're probably not valid, anyhow....toss or use! Thanks for the great read.
Sylvia ***


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Mis temas favoritos



The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

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AMETHYST
post May 30 07, 22:18
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Woooo Hoooo You! Excellent response to the stimulus, and also, the stimulus was an excellent source of inspiration. Whoever chose it, give them a cheers! Lori, you really haven't left much to complain about in this. First you've made use of words offering a dual intent... such as in L1, I loved your use of sleek upon himself, excellent. And in L6, '... haunch hopes ... again, brilliant word choices and usage.

Some other thoughts and comments to follow ... Hope my visit here is useful... I so enjoyed reading this poem.

Best wishes, and big hugs, Liz



QUOTE
He is sleek upon himself,
blending onyx with brilliance.

Seven - that magic number -
seven times he wreaths
his agile frame to the East,
ascending on haunch hopes;
no more, no less.

Toward latent stars he arcs,
and sheaths his domain
with the musk of nature’s scent.

I enjoyed the motion here. The images are crisp and the inclusion of scent really captures my inner minds eye.

Friends frolic in the grassy knoll
marking their place in society,

'perhaps "to mark their place in society'

yielding his presence, exercising
their position in his kingdom.

A god made unto himself,
he ponders the pranks of today…

Perhaps ... pranks of the day'

then quietly sneaks back
to the comforts of a cushy couch
and suns himself to sleep.

perhaps ... comfort of a cushy couch
Oh I am so jealous of his leisurely lazy life style... to have such power... Oh, and to be waited on -- the life of a cat! LOL ...



He is sleek upon himself,
blending onyx with brilliance.

EXCELLENT ENDING. I love the repeat of this wonderful lines...

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter


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Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!

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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 9 07, 05:55
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Thanks everyone for your most thoughtful commentary! Read.gif

I apologize for such a late response - I'm in a tizzy at present at work as it's the final two weeks of a two year 'major systems project' at Bose that I've been the lead on for one of the most complex portions of the system (our end-consumer installment billing processes), which is all custom code and I've given it a RED (hard stop) to the steering committee last Monday. As a result, a critical I/S team was put together to work with me and my team - hey, they even bought us lunch yesterday, LOL (even after my kicking it's butt *in not so friendly words, LOL* and we're working pretty much 24/7 right now through this coming week. I'm actually heading back in now and have 3 programmers, 3 accountants and 4 billing and collections specialists awaiting my 'tests and validations for today'. Sigh = long story and I'm CERTAIN there will be a poem or two when this is over, but in any event - I just wanted to say how much I appreciate your comments and patience as I struggle through this next week.


Bebe - yes, all those 'ings' need a tweak or two, I agree - do you have suggestions that might guide me?

Snow - I was using a play on words with 'marking' as cats 'spray' their territories - I'll think on that one further. I'm glad you enjoyed the journey! kitty.gif

Judi - Haha, a cat named 'Inky' how cool! I like your suggestion but will then need a substitute for 'A god made unto himself, he ponders the pranks of today…' so it doesn't repeat again.

Sylvia - I love that name too - Scarlett, how lovely! I used to have a lilac point siamese named 'Lucie' after the comedian, Ms. Ball. She was a great cat, but sadly passed away from FIP at only 7 months old. sad.gif I may not keep that repeat of 'seven' there and will ponder that further when working on the revision. This was a flash response, so not about 'my cat'. Although, Peter and I have been thinking of adding 2 to our family. I used to have 2 when I was married years ago, BP (before Pete) which inspired this poem. garfield.gif

Liz - Glad you enjoyed and thanks so much for the IBPC nomination - I'll be working on some revisions and will ask you all for your honest feedback soon - so may perhaps defer this one to next month if time comes up too quickly if that would be ok. I'm thinking I might need one more stanza before the ending to show the movement from 'play outdoors' back to 'snoozing indoors'?

Thanks again all!
~Cleo running.gif


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Psyche
post Jun 11 07, 10:34
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My very best wishes for your Bose proyect, Lori dear!!! May everything turn out magnificently. PartyFavor.gif

Having said that, please remember that POETRY is better for one's health: less stressful, more flexible, total freedom of expression and, with luck, a pretty plaque or a world-renowned prize!!None of which will make anybody rich, not usually, but is SO good for one's spiritual well-being.

I'm looking forward to your quick return to the poetry forums, perhaps with a new form? A sort of follow-up to your Swap Quatrain? YES!!!

Big hugs & more congrats!
Syl *** butterfly1.gif


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Mis temas favoritos



The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.


"There is no life higher than the grasstops
Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind
Pours by like destiny, bending
Everything in one direction."

Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights.



Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 16 07, 09:40
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



Hi Brenda,

Thanks - this was a fun one to write! I've just posted the first revision and have cut down from 7 to 3 on the 'ings'. I've also added a new stanza. Hope you like the revision!

Cheers
~Cleo kitty.gif

QUOTE (bbnixon @ May 30 07, 07:04 ) [snapback]97063[/snapback]
Hi Lori,

I loved this when I read in the flash challenge.. I guess my only nit is the "ings"...perhaps look to see if any of those can be replaced....I love this poem....

:) brenda


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 16 07, 09:47
Post #10


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Hi Snow.

Thank you! I had fun with it! I made a change to that line so it now reads: to mark their place in society. Cushy couches for everyone! Couch.gif

Glad you enjoyed - hope you liek the revision. arwen.gif

~Cleo kitty.gif

QUOTE (Eisa @ May 30 07, 08:09 ) [snapback]97074[/snapback]
Hi Lori

This is wonderful -- I have read it a few times before replying as I can find nothing to change. It is tightly well written. The only suggestion I can make at present is tightening

marking their place in society,

to
marking their society placement/position
,


I love many lines, but especially

to the comforts of a cushy couch

This has been a pleasure to read.

Snow Snowflake.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 16 07, 10:06
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Hi Judi.

Yes, I think if someone reads this that is, or was, a cat owner, they will hopefully smile and think, "I think I know this cat!" Jester.gif

Inky - what a neat name! I hadn't heard of that one before. I had a black oriental shorthair named 'Nayla' long ago - she was such fun! She loved to play 'fetch' with fake mice. She literally would paw at my feet to get me to toss them about - she'd run, catch them and then bring them back and drop them at my feet. If I didn't acknowledge her presence, she'd paw at my feet and if I still ignored her, she'd get vocal. We also had an Abyssinian, "Molly", who would start out chasing those mice too, but would lose interest and so Nayla had all the fun. What fun that was! Makes me contemplate getting one or two now. It's been a long while since we've had pets.

I've made that change from 'upon; to 'unto' and some other changes too. I agree, it sounds better as 'unto'.

Thanks!
~Cleo kitty.gif

QUOTE (Judi @ May 30 07, 10:55 ) [snapback]97091[/snapback]
Hi Lori....Love this poem and can relate to it. I had a cat named inky who could be this cat...

I wondered if your first lline "He is sleek upon himself," could be "unto himself "

I know you have used "unto himself" later in the poem, but "upon" somehow doesn't sound as good as "unto" in that first line...maybe some kind of change there? I have no other concerns...Judi


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 16 07, 10:26
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QUOTE (Psyche @ May 30 07, 12:59 ) [snapback]97108[/snapback]
Hi Lori!
Love this one! Of course, I can't resist anything about cats! Mine is Siamese, and the best cat in the world, natch'!!!! She's called Scarlett...
Hello Sylvia! wave.gif

I love siamese cats! My heart was broken as I had purchased a lilac point many years ago back in '95 (before I got divorced in '98 and then met Peter in '99) along with 'Nayla' a black orinetal shorthair. I had them spayed at 6 months of age and Lucy never seemed to really recover from it. We ended up bringing her to Tufts Vet. Hospital a few weeks later and she had to be put down as she had FIP. Nayla never got it (or if she did, she must have been immune to it). It was so heart-breaking!!!!! I can't imagine if we had her for several years.... Sad2.gif


He is sleek upon himself,
blending onyx with brilliance.
Not sure about 'upon'...somebody suggested 'unto'?
Yes, I've made the change there.



Seven - that magic number - Do you need L1, Lori? No - but I like the emphasis of it.
seven times he wreaths
his agile frame to the East,
ascending on haunch hopes; Cool!!! Thankies! hsdance.gif
no more, no less.

Toward latent stars he arcs,
and sheaths his domain
with the musk of nature’s scent.
Lovely stanza, Lori.
Thanks Sylvia - I hope you like the slight tweak I made to it in the revision.


Friends frolic in the grassy knoll
marking their place in society,
yielding his presence, exercising
their position in his kingdom.
Just so!

A god made unto himself,
he ponders the pranks of today…
then quietly sneaks back
to the comforts of a cushy couch
and suns himself to sleep.
HAHA....very good, Lori!
Thanks Sylvia - I made a few changes here too.



Great poem about your cat, beautifully written. As you see, hardly any nits, and they're probably not valid, anyhow....toss or use! Thanks for the great read.
Sylvia ***


Thanks Sylvia - this was a fiction writing from the recent flash, but I did draw on experience as you can guess. Glad you enjoyed - and hope you enjoy the revision too!

Cheers
~Cleo kitty.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 16 07, 10:34
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ May 30 07, 23:18 ) [snapback]97148[/snapback]
Woooo Hoooo You! Excellent response to the stimulus, and also, the stimulus was an excellent source of inspiration. Whoever chose it, give them a cheers! Lori, you really haven't left much to complain about in this. First you've made use of words offering a dual intent... such as in L1, I loved your use of sleek upon himself, excellent. And in L6, '... haunch hopes ... again, brilliant word choices and usage.

Some other thoughts and comments to follow ... Hope my visit here is useful... I so enjoyed reading this poem.

Best wishes, and big hugs, Liz
Hi Liz. wave.gif

Thanks so much - it WAS a fun stimulus by JaxMyth. Glad you enjoyed it!


QUOTE
He is sleek upon himself,
blending onyx with brilliance.

Seven - that magic number -
seven times he wreaths
his agile frame to the East,
ascending on haunch hopes;
no more, no less.

Toward latent stars he arcs,
and sheaths his domain
with the musk of nature’s scent.

I enjoyed the motion here. The images are crisp and the inclusion of scent really captures my inner minds eye.
Thanks - I've made changes to this stanza and dumped 'scent', replaced with 'musk'. Hope you like it.

QUOTE
Friends frolic in the grassy knoll
marking their place in society,
'perhaps "to mark their place in society'
YES, thank you! I've made that change! hsdance.gif

QUOTE
A god made unto himself,
he ponders the pranks of today…
Perhaps ... pranks of the day'
YES, thank you, that reads better too! I've made that change! hsdance.gif

QUOTE
then quietly sneaks back
to the comforts of a cushy couch
and suns himself to sleep.
perhaps ... comfort of a cushy couch
Oh I am so jealous of his leisurely lazy life style... to have such power... Oh, and to be waited on -- the life of a cat! LOL ...
Yeppers, I ditched that 's' on comfort. Then I realized it is night, so changed suns to moons for dual meaning again.

QUOTE
He is sleek upon himself,
blending onyx with brilliance.

EXCELLENT ENDING. I love the repeat of this wonderful lines...

Thanks so much Liz - I made a tweak to the ending couplet, still somewhat of a repeat of the opening with a slight change. Glad you stopped by!

~Cleo garfield.gif


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 16 07, 10:57
Post #14


Mosaic Master
Group Icon

Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



QUOTE (Psyche @ Jun 11 07, 11:34 ) [snapback]98033[/snapback]
My very best wishes for your Bose project, Lori dear!!! May everything turn out magnificently. PartyFavor.gif

Having said that, please remember that POETRY is better for one's health: less stressful, more flexible, total freedom of expression and, with luck, a pretty plaque or a world-renowned prize!!None of which will make anybody rich, not usually, but is SO good for one's spiritual well-being.

I'm looking forward to your quick return to the poetry forums, perhaps with a new form? A sort of follow-up to your Swap Quatrain? YES!!!

Big hugs & more congrats!
Syl *** butterfly1.gif

Hello Sylvia. wave.gif

Thanks for your well-wishes. lovie.gif I had set 11am as the deadline for completion yesterday as I only had 2 testers (including me) and 2 system support persons there to finish up yesterday. At 10:40, we completed the montrous undertaking and then I sent a memo to many key people to let them know the results and that Installment Billing was now a 'go'. I gave my team special recognition in the memo, stating that I was pleased and proud to have worked with such a passionate team of professionals and extended my sincere thanks. I could not have done this without them and the support of their managers.

Unfortunately, my chest cold has worstened because I pushed myself beyond the limits my body could handle working too many hours (being sick and run down) under intense pressure and stress and not resting. If IB wasn't resolved the project would have been pushed out and there was no way that could have happened (long story). I'm staying in all weekend and hope I can get some relief from the coughing and mucus (YUCK) but I think I may end up at the doc's early next week for anti-biotics. I HATE taking them! They make me feel weird.

Yes, I'd love to immerse myself in POETRY all weekend and hope it's magic can work wonders..... magictongue.png Not sure on a new form, but perhaps can coax my muse into a new poem or two?

As for the recognition, I had several conversations with my manager/director yesterday and it's all good! Many high-level folks have been emailing and meeting with her about my leadership role and passion etc. during the entire project and especially in crisis mode the past 3 weeks that she shared with me. I said I wouldn't cave, no matter what, if I didn't think the code was top-notch and working as designed to 100% satifaction. I expect nothing less, nor should anyone else that will be affected by these changes. It was a tough place to be in, but they relied on that stance, and chose me to lead it because that is how I approach these types of things. Sometimes, though, one has to settle for less - but we were lucky. I know there will be issues when we go live on July 2nd, but that is normal in any huge systems project - I anticipate a stabilization period of 6 months. Luckily, it'll be a hand-off to another department, LOL!

Time to relax and kick back for a bit....... Couch.gif

HUGS Syl!
~Cleo GroupHug.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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bbnixon
post Jun 17 07, 07:08
Post #15


Babylonian
*

Group: Gold Member
Posts: 88
Joined: 7-March 07
From: United States
Member No.: 409
Real Name: Brenda Nixon Cook
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Sampo



Hi Lori,

I have such a weakness for cats. Sorry it took me so long to get back, I started another 30 day poem challenge somewhere else, and I need to quit doing them....I seem to love to write, and hate to workshop. This year I have written 200 poems and workshopped maybe 15. I am awful. I loved this poem the first time, and I love the revision. Seven to three on the ings is quite impressive, I would say you are cooking...or You cook!!! Just teasing...I have a couple of minor things, will put them in blue




Jeoffry

He is sleek unto himself,
blending onyx and brilliance.

Seven - that magic number -
seven times he wreaths
his agile frame to the East,
ascending on haunch hopes; (I think you can use ascends )
no more, no less.

Toward latent stars he arcs
in complementary prayer,
and sheaths his domain with
spindrifts of nature’s musk. (Love this addition)

Friends frolic in the grassy knoll
to mark their place in society
then yield to his presence: exercising
their position in his kingdom.

He crouches low and slowly
advances amongst his
camouflaged backdrop;
a transient salutation
that shadows the pranks of the day…

then quietly sneaks back
to the comfort of a cushy couch
and moons himself to sleep.

A god made unto himself,
he blends onyx and brilliance.

Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter


I enjoyed it very much.....

hope your day is very good

:) brenda


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MM Award Winner
 
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Orion
post Jun 17 07, 14:11
Post #16


Egyptian
**

Group: Gold Member
Posts: 388
Joined: 26-October 03
From: Southeast USA
Member No.: 37
Real Name: Jan
Writer of: Poetry



Lori,

I enjoyed reading your poem and varied responses. The only thing I questioned in this occurred in Stanza 5. Would you possibly delete 'the' in front of the word pranks?

What a pleasure to read. I have 2 cats and can visualize and imagine this kingdom.
Great work.

Jan


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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 19 07, 05:31
Post #17


Mosaic Master
Group Icon

Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



Hi Brenda. wave.gif

No worries - I'm thankful you've come back! garfield.gif WOw, I appluad you - I don't think I can muster the stamina to do a 30 day poem challenge - good luck with it! I hope you'll share some of those 200 poems with us! magictongue.png

Yes, perhaps 'ascends' works - I'm just not certain as I favor ascending more - seems to read to me more like a full sentence and not quite as choppy as 'ascends' sounds somehow? I'll need to think on it more.

Seven - that magic number -
seven times he wreaths
his agile frame to the East,
ascending on haunch hopes;
no more, no less.

Seven - that magic number -
seven times he wreaths
his agile frame to the East,
ascends on haunch hopes;
no more, no less.


Oh, I'm glad you like the changes I've made to the next stanza too - I love that word 'spindrifts'. sun.gif Thanks so much!

Have a freat day!
~Cleo galadriel.gif

QUOTE (bbnixon @ Jun 17 07, 08:08 ) [snapback]98321[/snapback]
Hi Lori,

I have such a weakness for cats. Sorry it took me so long to get back, I started another 30 day poem challenge somewhere else, and I need to quit doing them....I seem to love to write, and hate to workshop. This year I have written 200 poems and workshopped maybe 15. I am awful. I loved this poem the first time, and I love the revision. Seven to three on the ings is quite impressive, I would say you are cooking...or You cook!!! Just teasing...I have a couple of minor things, will put them in blue


Seven - that magic number -
seven times he wreaths
his agile frame to the East,
ascending on haunch hopes; (I think you can use ascends )
no more, no less.

Toward latent stars he arcs
in complementary prayer,
and sheaths his domain with
spindrifts of nature’s musk. (Love this addition)

I enjoyed it very much.....

hope your day is very good

:) brenda


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 19 07, 05:33
Post #18


Mosaic Master
Group Icon

Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



Hello Jan! wave.gif

Nice to see you in my tile. garfield.gif Let's see how that would read:

He crouches low and slowly
advances amongst his
camouflaged backdrop;
a transient salutation
that shadows pranks of the day…


Yes, that would work too! Glad you enjoyed this one and could relate to it having cats yourself. They certainly DO have their own kingdoms and we are just mere slaves to them...... rofl.gif

Thanks and cheers!
~Cleo kitty.gif

QUOTE (Orion @ Jun 17 07, 15:11 ) [snapback]98358[/snapback]
Lori,

I enjoyed reading your poem and varied responses. The only thing I questioned in this occurred in Stanza 5. Would you possibly delete 'the' in front of the word pranks?

What a pleasure to read. I have 2 cats and can visualize and imagine this kingdom.
Great work.

Jan


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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AMETHYST
post Jul 1 07, 19:14
Post #19


Ornate Oracle
******

Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter



Congratulations Lori,


Best Wishes - and Big Hugs .... Liz


·······IPB·······

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!

MM Award Winner
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Jul 7 07, 09:08
Post #20


Mosaic Master
Group Icon

Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



Thanks very much Liz! kitty.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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