3/4/16 x 10 word Challenge-Luce - Revised, The Squatters - Revised Options

[Luce]

The Squatters - Revision


In the pale of the day
the horses are in the meadow pacing,
their combed tails tossing
nervous energy to the wind.

The low hum of life
surrounds them in the grass.
Some run, others crawl
but all grasp for a foothold
in the twilight and a place among
the violets.

Tramps of mice invade the shed,
set up squatter’s rights with their nests
of soft pink young.

Who am I to evict them
from the warmth of the bucket?
Who appointed me the Osiris of mice?
I bring down the mousetraps from the top shelf.

Cringing, I set up the traps
but still strive for the perfection of death:
peanut butter for the guys,
a bit of lent for the ladies
and one wiggly nose
then SNAP!

It’s the hidden serial killer inside me
coming out in spades.


Luce


In order of appearance: Pale, horses, pace, hum, grasp, twilight, violet, tramp, cringe, strive,



The Squatters - Original


In the pale of the day
the horses are in the meadow,
combed tails tossing
nervous energy to the wind.

The low hum of life
surrounds them.
Some pace, others crawl
but all grasp for a foothold
in the twilight and a place among
the violets.

Tramps of mice invade the shed,
set up squatter’s rights with their nests
of soft pink young.

Who am I to evict them
from the warmth of the bucket?
Who appointed me the Osiris of mice?
The mousetraps are on the top shelf.

Cringing, I set up the traps
but still strive for the perfection of death.
A bit of choice cheese, a wiggly nose
then SNAP!

It’s the hidden serial killer in me,
I’m afraid, coming out in spades.


Luce


In order of appearance: Pale, horses, hum, pace, grasp, twilight, violet, tramp, cringe, strive,

[Larry]

Hi Luce,

Nice use of all the words in a familiar pastoral setting. Living in the country, I can see very similar scenes every day. It brought a smile except for the mouse traps. You need to get a cat or two. It lowers the cost of the feed which the mice usually eat or befoul and alleviates all the guilt one might feel when their population is decimated by increasingly happy "fat cats"!

Larry

[Luce]

Hi Luce,

Nice use of all the words in a familiar pastoral setting. Living in the country, I can see very similar scenes every day. It brought a smile except for the mouse traps. You need to get a cat or two. It lowers the cost of the feed which the mice usually eat or befoul and alleviates all the guilt one might feel when their population is decimated by increasingly happy "fat cats"!

Larry

Ah yes, fat cats. I once had three cats. One was a great mouser, the second favored mosquitoes, beetles, anything really that moved or flew. But, Flynn, poor Flynn. He must of been taken from his mom too soon before he was taught his trade. He couldn't catch a thing, not even a cold, as they say.

One day a field mouse ran into a bare basement closet. We put Flynn in there with the mouse. A 1/2 hour later we opened the closet. Out ran the mouse who wisely headed for the open basement door. Left inside was a very puzzled looking Flynn. He was such a doofus - but we loved him so.

Luce

[Merlin]

Hello Luce,
indeed, tis the life in the country. That said, cities are not immune to mice, and they get a better supply of rats.

I was a bit surprised to see you have horses that crawl. Of course, I have had cars that didn't run!

Re mouse traps - there was an interesting article on FB in Cottage Magazine. What I learned is that the critters can smell human hands that set the trap, therefore, wear gloves (plastic dishwashing ones will do) when doing the bait, and the bait should be only enough to lure, not feed the critter. Less is better than a large piece, so they depress the trigger. Cheese isn't the best, according to them.

Happy hunting.

M

[Luce]

Hello Luce,

indeed, tis the life in the country. That said, cities are not immune to mice, and they get a better supply of rats.

Oh my goodness, cities are the worst - especially old crowded neighborhoods with row houses.

I was a bit surprised to see you have horses that crawl. Of course, I have had cars that didn't run!

Oh dear, I meant other critters around them. However, I can see why you would think I was still talking about horses because of the use of the word "pace". You really just think of horses pacing. Gotta revise that line just for the heck of it.

Re mouse traps - there was an interesting article on FB in Cottage Magazine. What I learned is that the critters can smell human hands that set the trap, therefore, wear gloves (plastic dishwashing ones will do) when doing the bait, and the bait should be only enough to lure, not feed the critter.

I haven't had mice problems in years. The three cats we had deterred them, it seems. We were also pretty vigilant in blocking entry points.

The occasional field mouse would wander in when we left the basement door open way too long but that was a rarity.

They were a problem in my childhood home in the Lower East Side. And yes, we use to set those traps using old cheese. Worked every time. But the best deterrent was again - a cat. Our family cat was the best mouser in the world. She earned her kibble every day. She was also smart enough to know who was boss in our large household - my mom. Whenever Spotty caught a mouse, she left the mangled body in my mom's slipper - just to let my mom know that she was on the job.

Less is better than a large piece, so they depress the trigger. Cheese isn't the best, according to them.

I don't think the mice in my old neighborhood got the memo. They liked the cheese and the more smelly it was, the better, it seems.

Happy hunting.

M

Fortunately, no hunting needed. Townhouse is fine. If in the future there is a problem - off to the animal shelter I go to look for a mouser or two.

Luce

[Luce]

Okay. I did a revision. After doing some research, I did substituted peanut butter for cheese even though ours were caught with cheese. Maybe they're smarter now and our mice, back in the day, were real dumb and/or starving.

In the process I learned how the PB only attracted male mice and you really wanted to get the females, especially the pregnant females, for obvious reasons. For them, it was suggested you put lint or cotton in the trap. The lint or cotton attracted the female mice because it was good nesting material.

Now folks don't start giving me mouse stories because right now I'm crawling out of my skin after my research. I'm ready to jump and break passed the ceiling if I hear a squeak or rustle.

Luce