pretty girls will walk in front of punches Options

[Daniel Barlow]

Pretty girls will walk in front of punches --

fresh crushed, slow bruised,
ripe enough for glim perusing,

beauty sufficient and sufficient
to dim the pallor --

to stick in the craw
of a plain cut country boy
who knows better than to wonder why --

who knows that pretty girls are often quantified
by the way they walk in front of punches.

[And what does it say of me: the unnoticed, longing to exist in eyes that glimmer
with apologetic light, that cry hero of last night's glowering pugilist --
her shimmering Nero]

Yet, she is an enchantment --
more endearing for the fine drawn hues,
the deep striated blues of inner bruising:

She becomes only a breadth of sky, made too soft

to swallow.

[saore]

This is interesting Daniel. I am not sure if I like it, or if I dislike it, the thing is, it has this effect on the reader. You want to chose: like, or dislike. It is because of the construction of the images. You kind of want to ask yourself: is the narrator saying pretty women deserve to be punched? Is he saying it from experience? Is he assuming, generalizing, too much? These are all unwritten questions, at least this reader made as he read the poem. So I will have to come back and reread. See if I still feel the same way or if my gut reaction changes. The construction of the poem is fine I would even say, excellent. It is the premiss of the poem I worry about.


Sergio

[Daniel Barlow]

Thanks Sergio,

I mean it's one that people get or don't get, and I can understand that, but it sets out to do something if that makes sense.

Appreciate the time.

db

[merle]

Hi Daniel -

I took this to mean the pretty girls always choose the bad boys and continually suffer at their hands. This seems to be a mystery to the narrator in the poem who would like to 'save' them but realizes his efforts would go unnoticed. A good take on a complex subject.

Robin

[saore]

I took this to mean the pretty girls always choose the bad boys and continually suffer at their hands. This seems to be a mystery to the narrator in the poem who would like to 'save' them but realizes his efforts would go unnoticed. A good take on a complex subject.

You see Daniel, if this is what a reader gets from the poem then you've lost my support. This equals sexism of the worst kind to me. No woman, pretty, ugly, smart, or dumb deserves to be hit by a man. They never look for it unless they are sick. So, I really think you should use the talent you have to write about this in a different way. Because if I stop by a bookstore and open your book at this poem and read it, I will put it back down and never read anything from you again. I won't use my money to support this kind of thinking.

Sergio

[Daniel Barlow]

Thanks Robin,
I intended it to be a look at attraction and states thought, the thought being that it's a shame beauty is often a face value thing.

Thanks Sergio,

definitely an interesting take on it for sure. I appreciate the time.