Apollo's Weavers, Sonnet in the style of Keats Options

[Larry]

"In honor of National Poetry Month, The Chronicle is holding a very brief poetry contest. Write a poem that is inspired in some way by any element of John Keats's 'On First Looking Into Chapman's Homer'

Let me preface this post with a thanks to The Chronicle of Higher Education which was running a short contest; without which this poem may have never been written. This contest had to do with a sonnet Keats wrote after reading a Chapman translation of Homer. Here is the poem I submitted; hope you like it. I utilized the same sonnet format and rhyme scheme used by Keats.


Apollo's Weavers

Though bound with Time’s strong hands and Fate’s caprice,
I wandered through antiquities’ domain
while lost within the lines of sweet refrain.
Adventures, shared in contemplative peace,
are gifts to eye and mind without surcease.
Those moldering in graves and crypts would deign
to have me at their side ere they were lain
on flowered bier. With words, they can release
tight fetters, lending thoughts quilled wings for flight
into the shadows of disheveled time.
With missives writ, my memories bedight
in silken phrase and sonnet’s structured rhyme.
Their panoply of vistas, apposite…
weave tapestries of life; serene, sublime.

Larry

[anaisa]

Hi Larry,

My favorite... the envelope rhyme scheme. It always sounds
so beautiful. I'm not the best at critiquing sonnets...I can only spot a bad ones.
And this is very nice... it's great to be on a site where there is formal poetry.
Karen

[Alan]

Dear Larry,

The Keats was inflicted on me at school, and I have been scathing about it ever since, I think I will blame the teacher, in effect a hack.

Thank you for bringing this back within my ken, and for your excellent rewrite, which I think far superior to the original.

Perhaps you will have time to peruse my

HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE DOUBLE BED

which YOU have inspired ?

Love
Alan

[Larry]

Hello Karen & Alan,

Thanks for the visit and kind words. I am much more inclined to write sonnets in the 4-4-4-2 or 8-6 format and love that new SQ creation of Lori's with which I have written a few hybrids. Keats' poem showed me that he was neither overly impressed with that particular translation nor capable of putting his true feelings into that poem. Most of his are so much better; especially his love poems.

Karen, I'm glad you are here and thank you for your praise of "recognizing a nice one". When I first happened upon this site, I spent weeks reading lots of beautiful work and the quality of that work was the impetus which caused me to join. So many other sites are merely vain attempts at unstructured meanderings.

Alan, thanks for many a good chuckle caused by my "inspirational?" poem.

Larry

[Psyche]

Thank heavens for The Chronicle of Higher Education, Larry! Lucky us. This is a beautiful sonnet and I wish you success with your submission. Though you don't mention whether it's over, or any dates. Do tell us.

It's difficult to say which lines are the loveliest. Your poem is perfect, I love the flow of energy and assertiveness in its vocabulary. The finale is, well ....sublime!

I'm promising myself to come back to this forum more often, so as not to miss these exceptional contributions.

Sylvia***

[Larry]

Hi Sylvia,

This was originally posted in the "Ark" where Lori told me of Rus' post about the contest. The contest has been over for a while and I didn't win. Not because my submission was judged to be inferior to other's but because it was no longer in the running. I submitted the poem and they had it posted along with numerous others who had submitted their work. Then I read the "fine print" about any submitted poetry/prose. I had the manager of the contest delete my poem from their site due to their "lawyer-ese". Below is that "fine print".

The fine print: By submitting your poem to The Chronicle of Higher Education, you agree that The Chronicle may consider your poem for publication; if your poem is chosen, you agree to give The Chronicle of Higher Education a perpetual, worldwide, nonexclusive right to copy, display, publish and use the poem, in print or online, without further obligation to you. In addition, you represent and warrant that you are the sole author and owner of all rights in and to the poem, and that the poem is original and does not infringe upon any statutory copyright or any common law right or proprietary right of any individual or organization.

I have a real problem with giving anyone perpetual rights to my work. I don't care how altrustic they may be or their underlying reasoning for requesting/demanding such a right.

I do appreciate your wonderful praise and hope you will frequent this forum more often and submit a few more pieces of your own. Thanks for stopping in for a read.

Larry

[Eisa]

Hi Larry

This is very well written and a there is nothing I would change at all. It has been a pleasure to read.

Excellent work!

Snow

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Larry,

I'm sure Keats would be as proud as I ! I'm sorry that the contest didn't work out, but I'm sooooooooo glad that it inspired you to write this poem in response, otherwise your muse may not have been tickled.

I find your title completely fitting to the theme for starters and also admire the format utilized, despite my own insecurities with the sonnet, lol! I do so enjoy reading them.


Though bound with Time’s strong hands and Fate’s caprice,
I wandered through antiquities’ domain
while lost within the lines of sweet refrain.
For some reason I cannot yet explain, I find the word 'while in L3' throwing me off - as though this opening isn't quite a complete sentence. I want to read something like the narrator being lost within the lines of sweet refrain, altough I understand this is most likely what you mean. It possibly could be the first word in L1 - I'll have to re-read and ponder a bit more...

Adventures, shared in contemplative peace,
are gifts to eye and mind without surcease. **Ooh, great word to lend an archaic feel to your theme!

Those moldering in graves and crypts would deign
to have me at their side ere they were lain
on flowered bier. With words, they can release
tight fetters, lending thoughts quilled wings for flight
into the shadows of disheveled time.
**This is quite striking, Larry. BRAVO!

With missives writ, my memories bedight
in silken phrase and sonnet’s structured rhyme.
Their panoply of vistas, apposite…
weave tapestries of life; serene, sublime.

Beautiful! No nits here - enjoyed the read!
~Cleo

[Larry]

Hi Eisa & Lori,

Sorry I've been away for so long and didn't get back to this sooner. I appreciate the kind words and am thrilled that you both enjoyed my tribute to Keats. Lori, I'm blushing!

Thanks again,

Larry